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Unfortunately both my parents were narcissists
Congratulations on surviving that!😮 Wow…ouch. oh gosh… suddenly I feel lucky
I was about to post the same thing.
I hope the doctor talks about this for us that had /have 2 narcissistic parents.
What if the non-N parent/target parent was unintentionally guilty of the thing you’re describing, and when the children reach adulthood they not only see the narcissistic traits of the alienating parent and resent the target parent for the “therapy” but now also believe BOTH parents were in fact narcissists? How does one repair this?
Same 🫶🏾
I was my mom’s therapist for 40 years I went to suicide attempt twice
One parent is Unkind, Unfeeling, Uncompassionate, Unresponsive, Uncaring, Cold-hearted but projects these on the other parent..
Vulnerable or Covert Narcissist?
I am co-parenting and i am the grandma. My daughter passed away and her and the father were not together, now i have to walk that path as my daughter did and he is really pushing me to my breaking point. I just started seeing a therapist. Thank you for these videos they have opened my eyes. Grandson is 8.
This is terrible. I’m soo sorry for your loss of your daughter! It sounds like the father is no good. The child is soo blessed to have you, when things get tough with the father remember that! Your essentially the only good thing that child has so try to not let him get to you and show up for that kid( not saying your not) just saying. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your grand baby. Take care❤
@@blakelee119 thank you so very much! I realized i have to have a support system, not only to help me, but to help my grandson as well 🙏 xoxo
I believe my father is actually a psychopath. He does not appear to experience the full range of human emotions—least of all, empathy for me, his only child. Mom is a covert narcissist, and daddy is a psychopath. I never had a chance.
You STILL have a chance!
Even with toxic parents, who knocked you down many pegs starting in life,
You are STILL alive and able to heal now.
You didn’t have a chance for a happy childhood.
Now as an adult you have a chance to heal and renew.
I know this sentiment. Childhood was confusing and lonely.
Dr. Ramani, even if the parent doesn’t lean on the child for support, isn’t there still a similar effect on the children just by witnessing and experiencing the narcissistic abuse of one parent abusing the other (their dad abusing their mom), and their mom’s PTSD and inability to be present, constantly living in a freeze state? Even after parents separate, the narcissist still comes back for narcissistic supply, and the child isn’t always shielded. How do we as the safe parent help mitigate the damage and help our children heal from growing up in a narcissistic abusive home?
This is my question as well. My CPTSD made me unable to be the best version of myself for my daughter. I feel seen by your comment. Thank you!
@@floopowder79I understand. I went through this, too.
I’m 70 my dad left mum when I was six.for another woman. Mum was emotionally unable to cope. I had to take her to the toilet. From then on I was an adult. There was never any support for me. No one wanted to listen at anytime did any adult ask how I was. Dad would visit 3 afternoons a year. He refused to pay maintenance even though mum went to court, he would pay 3 monthly ,by cheque,which she had to take time off work to cash at the bank. I was a latchkey kid. None of it was fun. Everytime I spoke to dad even when I was married, he continued to claim he was innocent, mum made him do it. Yeah right. I have always thought, I paid the price, I was the disposable one. Mum died when I was 18. Life taught me early, it can be very unfair.and adult decisions will come hard on children. My children were never forced to make adult decisions and they are fine men .
God Bless You.
You have suffered and survived.
So glad to hear your own children have had a better parenting experience.
Break the cycle.
You did it!
OMG I know this from personal experience. My mother is narcissistic, or rather diagnosed as a sociopath. She was and is horrible towards me, violent and cold and at the same time terribly childish. I wasn’t even allowed to call her “mom”. Unfortunately I let her manipulate me and she managed to turn me against my father and his parents. My paternal grandparents loved me very much and she couldn’t stand it either. My father has no talent for money, but he is a good gentle guy. My mother was able to discredit him in a credible way. She accused him of disgusting things that… she did! She cheated and lied that it was him. She drank and neglected me, but convinced everyone that her ex-husband was a drunkard. My father was an independence activist and fought for our freedom during communism. He was in prison because of it. My mother convinced me that he had committed real crimes and is a bad person. Narcissistic people are really good at lying. I always wanted to be different from my mother and maybe that’s why I’m the opposite: I tell the truth even if it’s against my interests and I do it straight to the face. I am disgusted by liars and manipulators.
I honestly wish my mom had warned me about my dad. If she had told me what was really going on, maybe I would have been spared and made better choices. Not knowing was worse.
Same. I wish my mom had told everyone!
I think when a child is a young adult its Ok, even good to talk frankly about personal things but not a young child. Hope that makes sense?
I know my father was a malignant narcissist. I strongly suspect that my mother was an enabler and emotionally unavailable. I wish I could let her watch this video. But because my mother is not good in English, she won’t understand. Or she may pretend not to understand. But thank you Dr. Ramani for explaining it so well.
My mom did this to me, complaining about her issues with my dad to me. She still tries to but I have learnt to keep my boundaries despite her getting mad at me, and suggest she sees a counsellor but she won’t. My dad is totally emotionally unavailable. He can be mean to my mom and I tried to protect her. I had no life of my own as a teenager. They totally used me. It totally harmed me but they will never acknowledge it. It’s exhausting. Not engaging anymore. Not my problem. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Thank you Dr Ramani. Narrississic parents are the worse. Then if they remarry into another narrississic adult. It becomes hell for the child. With adult responsibilities. For me i was lucky to have a dog. And yes the dog was the best parent.
Omg, this is our story. We raised three children in this “system” . We are still together (55 yrs) as husband and wife aged 75 and 74. Our oldest daughter has cut us off, our son had a childhood laced with trauma, and our youngest daughter is doing her best to set boundaries while caring for her narcissistic father and long abused mother. Thankful there are no grandchildren to inherit this mess. 😢
It’s sad to celebrate no grandchildren. Changes can be made by your children-to ensure they break the cycle.
In a restaurant, I overheard a father, looking heavy with a familiar saddness telling his 5 year old daughter that her mother was “no good. A bad person.” Leaving at the same time, I waited while he put her in the car and asked to speak to him. I really empathized, knowing how heartbreaking his situation is. I wanted him to know that the mother will always be part of his daughter. That saying bad things about her becomes a bad identity for his daughter. Knowing you want to explain, yet try not to run her down. He responded really well to this. Looking for answers in an impossible horrific ordeal. There was no Dr Ramani then. I hope he and his daughter have found this vital life-saving help.
good point. he prolly thinks his $hit doesn’t stink. at least he didn’t call her an evil, rotten, schemer.
My narcissistic mother shared totally inappropriate things about her life with me. My father, who was not a narcissist shared, totally inappropriate feelings about my mother with me.
Everything is so true!!! I watched my mother suffering so much for more than fifty years till she lost her mind. My mission in life was to save her but failed. Now she got trapped even more. Please people be very careful!!!!! God bless you and take care of yourself.
@@moniponi2176 🙏
No one protected me from the toxic environment I grew up in with both parents being abusive, and so my first relationship was with an abusive man. I have had to protect myself and others and it’s been exhausting. Grateful for the safe supports I have now found. It’s a lot to work thru. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Both of my parents were narcissists and I have had to end a second marriage because I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. I’m finally learning now.
I grew up in a home where both parents were Narcisistic and most of the extended family members also. If you are a child and you manage to survive and heal from that terrible trauma you were subjected to by having a Narcisistic parent , you are a super hero. It’s a miracle to make it given the circumstances you were born into. Thank you for your invaluable support and compassionate advise dr Ramani ❤️ God bless you ❤️
Dr Ramani, thank you for being….
You have added so much value in such difficult terrain….
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