How does a child become a narcissist?
How does a child become a narcissist? It’s one of the most asked questions—and the answer is complex. In this episode, Dr. Ramani walks you through the actual developmental roots of narcissistic personality styles. From biologically rooted temperament and invalidating environments, to trauma histories and chaotic family systems, she explains how certain children—but not all—end up following a narcissistic path. If you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, trying to break intergenerational cycles, or simply want to understand what fuels narcissistic behavior, this episode offers clarity without excuses. It’s not about blaming—it’s about understanding the origins so you can stop blaming yourself.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you for making this video!!!❤
All of my children are turning out just like my husband, they all disregard me and what I say or do. I don’t ever want my boys to not love their father, I just want them to see through his lies and false promises. I want them to protect themselves from the chaos, but they never do they think I am so full of myself and crazy which in turn makes me feel even more like crap.
@@jenster29that hit me hard thank you, I have become the person they always said I was acting like, I stopped playing games and just started being realistic, they all use it against me lol, I’m the crazy one, sure why not lol.
My ex was the same way and my sons ended up just like him as well. I was always the bad mom when I tried teaching responsibilities and accountability. But I was always found at fault for everything.
Good for you jenster. I did the same thing. Started standing up and calling crap out. Ex couldn’t stand that after I was so forgiving and looked the other way for years. He ended up leaving. Then didn’t even show up as my oldest lay dying in a hospital bed 2 hours away from home. Husband knew he went out of state and never told me. Never came to hospital either. That opened younger son’s eyes big time. I filed divorce papers then. Don’t ever feel bad for standing up and showing your kids the truths.
@@amandadelcarpio6340yep. Crazy if you do, crazy if you don’t.
So just be yourself!! Love your kids but call them out like you would anyone else!
We are not here to be door mats.. we have been.. but that’s enough now.
I wish you the absolute best of luck. 💪
Some kids grew up feeling ignored, like they didn’t matter. Now they do what it takes to get the attention they’ve been missing all throughout those years. That’s how many of them end up becoming narcissists. I was also ignored and bullied a lot growing up. And I always felt invisible, but instead of projecting my pain, I just learned how to disappear and live with the silence instead of trying to be loud and crave attention and validation.
Sounds like my ex. She was her overt narcissistic mom’s disappointment, and she got bullied in school. She hated it!
But after knowing her for 10 years and having a relationship with her for 7 years I understand that she her self is a covert narcissist.
Same exact experience I fade and disappear am withdrawn because I grew up being ignored and abused to the point I can’t stand people it feels very isolating.😢😢😢😢
Thank you, Dr. Ramani! I felt like you were talking directly to me! My brother is a narcissist and I’m an empath with my share of trauma. Thank you so much!
Dr Ramani – thank you for breaking down the biological vs environmental factors in the risk of narcissistic development. Awareness is key!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It’s quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes , Voltshroomies. I’ve personally struggled with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction, and I can attest that mushrooms have been a game-changer for me. They’ve played a significant role in my recovery, and I’m grateful to say that I’m now clean and sober.”
I wish those were more accessible here.
Microdosing was the next thing I planned for my husband. He’s 59 & facing many mental health issues, probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma for 8 days. Sadly, I had to get a TPO because he’s 6’6, over 300 pounds, and displaying violent behavior, always talking about hurting others. He’s really aggressive. If anyone out there knows about BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
Is he listed on Google ?
Voltshroomies is your guy. The best shrooms and psychedelics guy I know
I did not notice abuse because I was abused daily by my dad. After several energy healing sessions and grounding, I see abuse everywhere. When someone yells at me now I am hypersensitive, the opposite of what I was growing up in a narcissistic abusive family.
In my family I think there was a combination of factors. One, I’ve been told that the narcissistic sibling had some medical issues as a baby, combined with an overly emotional nature. I’m younger, and I only remember them being jealous of everyone for everything, and bullying whomever was getting attention, receiving, doing the chores she thought were the easy chores. You name they kept scores.
My parents dealt with it one of three ways. My dad would come down hard and scream, yell, or spanked the sibling, which made it worse because it was terrifying and abusive, we other kids got blamed by the sibling who bullied us more.
My mom would try to avoid potential “bad” situations by basically giving the sibling precedence in all things. They got the prize in the cereal box, they got first choice of candy bars, they got to have all of the first turns, bending the rules for the sibling things like that. If we pointed out the unfairness my mother would defend it by saying the sibling needed it more. I see now that it was meant to protect us from being bullied, but that happened anyway, and only reinforced the sibling’s narcissistic tendencies.
The last thing was how we were basically tasked with keeping the sibling regulated. Don’t rock the boat, give in, keep out of their way, mask your feelings, and most of all don’t be so sensitive. Basically, it was our fault if we set off the sibling.
My mother had attachment issues. My sister and half brother are both narcissists. My mother never disciplined or discussed feelings with us. I am the oldest, so discussing feelings and making sure my sister was okay, was my responsibility. I left home for a private school to get away from the responsibilities. My sister kept following me. That was many years ago. No contact works best for both of us now. There’s no competition now!
I think it’s a combination of it all. I also hypothesize that we have different perspective personalities and resiliency. Trauma that effects one individual might have a totally different effect emotionally on another one. This I believe why childern who grow up in an abusive situations have a different narrative on the parents. Strange as it may seem individuality might play a role in the Narcissist Personality (MONSTER)
I grew up like that. It scared me and I shake around it. Anytime anyone yells I start to shake and want to get away. I have diagnosed anxiety and PTSD…your videos have helped me so much and now I am in college now for clinical psychology thank you Dr
My mother was the covert narcissist. Never once raised her voice , shouted , or anything close to that. She controlled silently and you knew what to do .
There’s a 3rd component to narcissism.
CHOICE.
Having known narcissists of various stripes – covert, overt, malignant – there is that element of personal choice (and low to no conscience) as the ‘narc traits’ reap them alot of benefits.
They learn early, that exercising these narc traits *gets them what they want* and it works!
Power, control, domination are their payoffs.
17:57 I’ve experienced this. A narcissitic friend threatened suicide because I wouldn’t spend even more time with them. I already had plans and even ended a call with someone important to me to spend time with them. It wasn’t enough. This experience has made me more cognizant of my own actions to ensure I’m not subjecting others to this unacceptable behavior. In hindsight, it makes sense why they were resistant to therapy and rehab for alcoholism.
I am hyper sensitive to the yelling and screaming due to my trauma background. I had to steel myself in order to set stronger boundaries that made me feel safe at work yesterday. There was a lot of angry blowback from the narc boss, hurling insults and making criticisms and judging me because I would no longer enable his troubling behavior.
As someone raising a toddler thank you for this Dr. Ramani❤️ I really don’t want to rewrite the wrongs done by my parents to my little one
My youngest is just like her father. Mannerisms, sense of humor, and she looks just like him. He left our lives when she was 3. My oldest and I , 12 years older, are always laughing about it, we actually enjoy it. So yes, I absolutely believe in inherent/inherited dispositions.
The thing is, we cannot diagnose a child as a narcissist I would give them till at least the age of 25 to know their pattern and know there’s not a good chance for change and protect yourself. We can see all the scientist symptoms. The best thing we can do is be a good role model with boundaries and consequences. The best advice I’ve ever been given was everything is as it should be radical acceptance, realistic expectations always❤❤❤😂 thank you Dr. Roni for bringing up this topic. It’s very difficult dealing with children who are affected
I’m really enjoying this topic today. (I feel this way about every upload to this channel)
I got stuck / trapped by an elderly man with sociopathy & sadism .
There was nothing wrong with him when I first met him, but after I moved in to be his caregiver then at lunch he told me that he was schizophrenic. I’ve lived with him long enough and I’ve had enough people look over my situation. He is not schizophrenic.
The family does not see my point of view. The man lies so freely, and they continue to go to him and get his version of events about me. They encourage him to treat me like im beneath him ,
I feel like a child when the family gets involved and interacts with him. Things are getting hot here because I’m trying to leave so bad, so the “schizophrenia” is appearing again. All he does is drafts these letters to the family, he rereads it, crosses out what he wants to change,edits some stuff,
Then he types it out on an email and sends it to different members of his family. The last one he was pretending to channel his wife and he was saying all of this goofy stuff. And the niece encouraged him. She responded back with I like when you speak from Michelle.
These people protect him and love him and then he turns around and he punishes me.
I realized something yesterday.
A Schizophrenic won’t go around claiming to have sociopathy.
BUT A Sociopath would lie and claim to be schizophrenic.
Lord God, please help this man let me go.
I’m his only supply.
He is old but extremely intelligent and has pretended to be paranoid schizophrenic for 5 decades or so. Father God, do not let this man be a permanent parasite of mine, please get him off me and do what I need to move out.
These bastards are tricky; It will take a miracle so I’m going all the way to the top.
You are such a good person, Dr. Ramani. You’re a woman I admire with my whole heart and soul, someone I look up to. Thank you for being here ❤
Perfectly explained for my life with him and this nails it