How narcissistic abuse FOLLOWS YOU into future relationships
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I am a Romanian woman living in Belgium and i left my ex narc 6 months ago after 7years of mental hell. I couldn’t have done it without listening to you, Dr. Ramani. Thank you!!
Congratulations! Hope you’re doing well now ✊👌I’m still in mine waiting for the nearest exit 😊
God bless you dear one. Trust in God only who really loves you 🙏 be happy in God
Also Romanian here, but living in England. I had a similar experience over many years, in almost all my long term relationships. I always ignored the red flags, and I didn’t know any better, ab*se was all I knew from my childhood. Now I’m single and I have been ab*se free for years! Please stay STRONG and NO CONTACT!!!!
@uzmazaidi2887 please try sooner than later, I’ve been single for a few years and I’m still self doubting and healing
It takes a very long time to get back to normal, if that is even possible
Listening to your own body helps.
Yes. This is very true
This is SO true. With two narc parents and a violent psychopath older brother, I learned I had to be invisible. To be noticed was to be blocked and attacked. Best not to be seen at all. It does not lead to success in life, jobs, frienship and relationships etc.
I’m so sorry you had to live through such hell.
Yes! I totally know what you mean.
Wow! I did the same thing growing up and even now as an adult.
I feel you. It must have been hell. Know that you are not alone
If you are not ‘seen’ at work, how do u get promoted?
Once again, Dr. Ramini nailed it. Loss of trust is the blast zone from being exposed to the narcissist and their enablers.
💯
Yep, one of my kids once told me if something happened to their dad they wanted me to marry again so I could be happy. Nope. Don’t need a man to be happy. No chances of losing myself in another again.
@@appaloosa42i dont understand people that think they need to be in a relationship to enjoy life
@@goldbrick2563 some of us old women were taught our place was to make a home for a man and his children. Lots of women used their talents to do that ( doing it right aint easy !!) but a certain segment of the culture felt they needed us to generate corporate income and taxes more than our homes needed us.
I could be happy either way… just didn’t understand that the dysfunctional family I married into was run by a narcissist who raised narcissist twins! Thank God the worse one wasn’t interested!
These days are hard to find real people, narcs are abundantly spread.
I heard someone saying that American culture creates narcissistic citizens.
I always thought they grow as arrogant people because of the culture as well.
Every time I watch one of these videos im astounded at how you describe my exact experiences and, somehow it STILL surprises me.
You are likely surprised, as I continue to be, that our sense of isolation and confusion, is a common experience for so many. It seems impossible that we felt so incredibly ALONE in our lives with the narc, but now we see, we were not alone! At least, that’s how I perceive it! All the best to you! ❤
I have lost that, trusting myself, afraid of everyone.
Oh no. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I felt this way, and sometimes I still trust the wrong people, but I am pleading with you not to give up trusting yourself. It feels impossible at first, and you will probably need a very clued in therapist to help you, but in time you can regain trust in your own opinions, choices etc. and eventually you will learn how to protect yourself from, and identify, these monstrous narcissists. Then you will start to instinctively know who you can trust, and who you can’t. There are lots of us survivors out there too. 🙏🏻💐🌼🕊️
A narcissistic relationship is a “study in dissappointment”. So very true.
Bravo to this genius of a caring expert. This is a good quote.
What just burned itself onto my brain forever- “Narcissistic relationships are where trust goes to die”
Wow. That pretty much sums it up.
@@donnamorley1040 Absolutely and coming to terms with a reality that wasn’t real
😢@@Soleil_Lumiere
@@Soleil_Lumiere- & death of our souls
This explains so much as I was always super independent until a car accident forced me to move in with my family, and the emotional abuse in terms of gaslighting, shaming, blaming, invalidating and undermining from them made my mental health so bad I could barely function. So grateful to learn it’s not me and not who I am. I’m am very strong and capable. 💪🏼 Taking my true self back!! ❤Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I hear you! When we get injured or seriously ill they turn into complete predators! Well.. they already were. They just victimize us when we are at our lowest. Happened to me also!
I think my mother, husband, mother in law and daughter are narcissists and I wonder if I become one as well.
This makes me want to cry because I feel exactly everything that you’re talking about. I never knew me. I was abused as a child and I went right into an abusive marriage at 16 years old. Had kids stayed with him for 37 years. He was very abusive, both mentally emotionally physically sexually everything And now my kids don’t talk to me although I always thought I was a good mom. Yes, I made mistakes but I always felt like I was there for them. In hindsight now I wished I never would’ve stayed with him. I thought I was doing good for the kids, but now I know I wasn’t. It was more harmful to them than helpful, I am working on myself now going to counseling, but you were spot on what you’re saying how narcissistic abuse follows you. I thought once I left my ex-husband I would be good but it’s not that easy trauma follows me into my daily life. It affects everything I do, but I’m working on it day by day, finding my own voice, knowing who I am and just taking it one day at a time. Thank you for sharing these videos they make me feel that I’m not crazy and I’m not alone in this fight.
I see you and understand the pain that you have suffered throughout your life. Me too. A 75, I am finally beginning to know my authentic self. Dr. Ramani‘s videos and a few others I have found on YouTube have literally saved my life. Sending you a warm hug and a heart filled with hope for you and me.❤
I love you. You matter
You are just the right amount of “crazy” but as Johnny Depp said as the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. All the best people are. Hugs
@@beverlyadams7205 Thank you.
@@dougcoleman8972 Thank you.
With a narcissist, there is no trust. All you can do is find workarounds where you do all the work, and they’re never around.
At this point, I prefer him to NOT be around! He is exhausting and depressing to be around.
@@annjohnson8437 The narcissist is inattentive, absent, neglectful, and in every way not there for you.
“workarounds” is a good way to put it.
A narcissistic relationship is where trust goes to die…you lose trust in life itself most notably loss of our own trust in ourselves…. basically an existential loss of trust”
I’ve been in a narcissistic relationship since I was 19. I’m now 50. It feels like this is all I’ve known all my adult life. I grieve for all the lost time and opportunities and for the betrayal. Only thing that rescued be somewhat was education and faith. Much love to Dr. Ramani and other survivors out there ❤✊❤✊
I can totally relate. I’m 50 now too. I’m haunted by wasting 1000’s of hours of conversation hoping satan would change. Excuse me I meant she would change, grow and mature. May God bless you and increase your strength, love and peace!🙏
I can’t relate. I am happy that you are free from that abuse. it’s hard for me to understand how narcissists are tolerated. it’s my shortcoming ill admit but when I was young I developed a pervasive intolerance for b.s. maybe I should thank my parents for that.
Same. I grieve wasted years and opportunities…lost trust… life could be so different…and i owe my new life to Dr. Ramani❤
@@theothercheek777 Hmmm. Interesting. What’s your reason for consuming narcissistic content? Have you ever had a narcissistic relationship?
@@d.c.9854 I live in america
My mother always speaks with pride about when I was a little girl, I used to play hours and hours by myself in my room. I hate to draw any kind of attention (even in my 50s), even if positive. I’m most comfortable when I’m not seen.
I can identify with you! ❤🌹🍀
Yes can be a very lonely childhood
“I’m safe when I’m invisible” is how I lived most of my life.
You better hold back on your empathy with a narcissist until you get out. That’s what they prey on at any level. You cannot radically accept if you continue to cater to their needs as it will keep you in the trauma bond.
After two marriages to narcissists following my upbringing by a malignant narcissistic father and enabling mother, I feel entitled to live a peaceful, quiet life with my cat. 😻
Right on!!!!! Me too
I’m 75 and live by myself. The peace and joy I am discovering is indescribable. Thank God for these videos!❤
Cats are the best. Love them! ❤
Same here.😂
@@teresa5007 they themselves a little narcissists?
It made me absent minded because i was constantly making myself close my ears and mind to shut down.
Narcs ask you most of the time to do something for them. They treat you like a servant. You on the other side are conditioned to do it all by yourself and wont even ask for help.
That’s me.
Yes!!! I started to realise this many years into the relationship so started to call it out as ‘bossy’ behaviour whenever it happened. It struck me as really interesting that I hadn’t noticed previously (just how much my pleasing was on autopilot). It’s very funny to watch them scramble for excuses when you call it out ‘oh, but you’re closer, I would do it for you, or if I was sitting there and the dog wasn’t resting next to me…’
Nothing haunts you more than learning how it could have been.
10 years of call center work taught me to “glaze over” and just shut down/remove myself emotionally from people’s screaming and cussing and personal attacks. Good lesson actually as I transferred that ability to the rest of my life and began to see the abusive people in my life in a new light. I knew I FELT abused by them but eventually shifted to “I sure as Hell don’t need this in MY life.” I went from feeling “then who will be my friend?” to “there are literally billions of other people on this planet, so why the “F” do I continue to allow this hateful idiot to affect MY life?” It’s taken a couple of decades but once you begin that process of putting yourself first, it kinda’ grows on yuh and as you begin to feel better about yourself you also begin to recognize the abusive crap a lot more easily and quickly. Trust me, when you see it coming It’s a whole lot easier to side step it or block it or just turn and go another direction to avoid it entirely. It sure does make breathing a lot easier for me. (My main sense of self control is holding my breath which I began doing as a young child).
Yes, we Hold our Breath. And, it’s not healthy. 💜
GREAT MESSAGE 💜🕊️🙏