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Narcissistic siblings tend to be enablers of their narcissistic parent.
Exactly right ✅️
Correct!
My brother was the enabler of my mother. Then, when she became old, he became her controller, and abuser. When I confronted him w/his abusive, and controlling behavior, he tried to bully me. When he couldn’t control me, or be my bully, he started smearing me to the “family.” By cutting out the narcissistic sibling, or family person, is the best thing you can do for yourself, and your children.
@jeanie5074 my dynamic and he’s now living in the house that is our inheritance only he lived there for free for years and got the biggest share of EVERYTHING. My mom was not narcissistic, though, but highly codependent and I believe she was on the spectrum. She was a people pleaser.
Mine sister became one. I had to cut my mother off in march 2024 and sister in august 2024. I think she developed narcissism later in life. She wasn’t a narcissist growing up.
My younger brother is a narcissist. We’re coming up to the 5 year anniversary of my going no contact with him, while the rest of my family still has contact. This couldn’t have been more timely, tysm for this.
Yip it’s my younger brother and I found myself terrified of him as an adult which brought up a lot of shame in the beginning
Now I understand a bit more the dynamics I am no contact for over 6 years
There’s grief but relief if that makes sense
I had to move an hour away from my sister to heal myself. Thank you. This has been so eye-opening for me.
I had to pretend to be dead to stop my violent malignant narcissist sister from stalking me. She stalked me for fifteen years after I went full no-contact
Mine moves wherever I move to so they can embed themselves in the community to cause problems for me after they move where I’m at.
Narc sister was the baby of the family. I just thought that was how it was. I tried one last time to ‘fix’ our relationship. She did EXACTLY as you have said Dr. Romani. She raged at me, and 2 months later I received the 3 piece text; info, a lengthy lecture on my short comings, and tied it up with that she loved me, so it was up to me moving forward. NEVER any accountability. And yes, I was the sweet people pleasing kid. I’m 67 and cut ties with her
and my enabling mom
who now has dementia and is
living with sister. This happened last May. I have forgiven her, as God commands, I pray for her, and my door will always be open if she wants to be accountable. I’m not holding my breath
Similar to my story..stay strong
My sibling used the same attack method. To this days I can’t enable notification sounds on my phone, as they trigger me. Keep strong. We are not alone 🙂
I also got the sib email lecture on my faults and that everyone would be told about me. It also included the it’s-not-me-it’s-you gaslight. Oh well. Years later, the sib and parent got together to re-establish supply. I didn’t agree to fix their latest problem and oh holy hell their how-dare-you raging at me was off the charts. Fam got my no contact ever since. They are not owed anything from me. Best of luck with your door-will-always-be-open-if-she-wants-to-be-accountable.
@dennism8346 agreed..they never look at themselves…their rage is off the charts. I am finally done, and will no longer try..they are hurtful / dangerous individuals
Family of origin scapegoat here. My son an only child was married last fall. Normally it’s my mother who has shenanigans, but that day it was my sister who was acting out. She picked at me all day about everything I did or didn’t do. She even tried to steal my mother son dance, but my son put his foot down.
I’m a sibling of a narcissist. We are 15 years apart. I didn’t know till I reached my 20’s just how much hatred there was towards me. She grew up believing that I was conceived as a way to keep her as a nanny. Or, because she was free child care. She was physically abusive during my formative years. Neglectful. When I was 4 she ran away and eloped. As I grew up (since I was treated as an only child) the jealousy kicked in even more. I was apparently the golden child. I had more privileges than her. The jealousy never ended. When my mom became paraplegic, I was stuck with all the caregiving until she passed.
This sibling definitely encompasses a narcissist. She’s a church going, holier than though, adulterous, self involved human being.
I’ve gone no contact and despite the long grief ahead of me… my spirit is at peace and my children will never know her toxicity.
Nailed it! My whole life. Never a break, even after my older sister died there was lasting residuals. Now I just accept that it was the frame work of my character in this story of my life.
Now retired, I have scars and permanent injuries from sibling abuse when I was a toddler. My older sibling despised me for being born. I went no-contact with my toxic family when I became a parent to protect those I love from those that hate.
Me too!!!
❤❤❤❤same pal
Same 😢
Ditto.
Watch : real talk Kim / she will help you
I had to cut off communication completely with my sister because of her Narcissistic behavior. I have not had any interactions with her in well over five years and it was the best decision for me.
I understand, stay strong
Word for word, me too. I get it.
Same, and life is so much better.
Same here. Two and 1/2 years of peace for me, but she is making my mother and my sister suffer for keeping me in their lives.😢
8 years + counting. Wish I did it 3 decades ago.
My older sister and I have never had a good relationship. Any “good” childhood memories I have are tainted by discomfort since I was always the butt of the jokes. The competition between us was very toxic. Any time I had something great happen for me, she was forced to seem proud or happy for me. Any time I had something horrible happen to me, she was all too ready to be there for me and too eager to help, like she was dwelling in my misery so she could feel superior. I have stopped talking to my sister and wow things have been much better for me.
My four year older sister once told me how, when I was a baby/toddler, she enjoyed and found it funny to make me cry, then comfort me so I stopped crying, then make me cry again…and on and on….this pattern has, in it´s own way, proceeded into adulthood, alongside with triangulation, scapegoating etc. Until recently – never again…
I had a sibling who was very similar. It is sadistic
I remember my older sibling saying the same thing that he and older brothers made me cry because my face looked cute to them and made them laugh pure evil sadistic sick siblings who incidentally hated each other too as adults
That behaviour sounds very strange to me, so strange that it surely must be an indication of something being not quite right
I am SO grateful for this subject. Dr. Ramani, you hit so many points today. Lots to ponder. Thank you.
I could listen to you 24 hours a day. The sibling narc subject is one close to what I dealt with until I cut all ties.
Thank you so much for this information! I am 77 years old and was in deep depression for many years, I had high blood pressure from the age of 18. My mother passed away 7 years ago and my health improved tremendously. I no longer take any depression medication. I am still on covering many things other than a narcissist mother and you helped me realize I had a narcissist sister. I still do but I have cut off ties with her since our mother died. These have been the best years of my life and I would encourage anybody in my shoes do the same. The interesting thing is, in my lifetime I’ve had many wonderful friends! My sister has one friend at a time, I guess that should have told me something through the years. Thanks again for speaking on this topic, it is much needed!
No parents 👍 no partner 😉 no problem! It was always them & never me 💔❤️🩹♥️
THANK YOU for this! I could write a book about my experiences with my narcissistic older sister. Took me until the age of 50 to finally walk away from the relationship. My older brother recently asked ME to fix things with her. It never ends.
‘You become the problem, for pointing out the problem’ !!!!!👍❤
Unmasking is tricky business.
But a few years later I know it has been so worth it.
@@PenninkJacob I posted an example of speaking up for myself and getting smeared by narcissistic mother just like when I was a little girl.
Sums up my entire upbringing.
excellent video on a very important issue that is not discussed enough in this time and age.
Block them and live in peace knowing toxic people don’t belong in your life
I do find there is a sexist male over female vibe in my family from my brothers and dad and I am so sick of it. Tired of the mansplaining and being treated as less than or expected to be in a submissive female role. Not tolerating nor playing that role anymore. I am valuable, equal and fully capable. Thank you Dr Ramani. ❤
Amen!
I feel like it’s a form of victim blaming to say ‘can’t we all just get along’ when it’s the narcissistic person who is repeatedly doing the abusive behaviour. Has nothing to do with getting along. I do everything I can to get along with them but I am allowed to have my limits and will exert my boundaries to protect myself. Totally different thing. Wish more people understood this. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤