How narcissists EXPLOIT YOU when you need them most
What happens when the only person you can turn to is the same person who has hurt you? In moments of crisis, narcissists often twist your need for help into another chance to manipulate, control, and shame you. In this video, Dr. Ramani explains why relying on a narcissist feels so depleting—and how to stay strategic when you have no choice but to depend on them.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
People always ask why you didn’t just leave? like it’s easier said than done. They never see how complicated it really is.
Not really. Understand and overcome
@LaMamaStar you are very judgmental. Have you overcome a narcissist?
@@LaMamaStar you say that because you’re self centered and lack the ability to see beyond your own life experience.
@Just me…very true!
@@LaMamaStar how dismissive. Doesn’t it feel shitty to essentially punch down on other people who aren’t as fortunate?
This video really speaks to what victims go through by others around them. Thank you!
So true, I have a number of friends who choose to diminish what I went through because they didn’t experience that from the abusive person or because they like them more. To that I say “bye bye” and “good riddance”.
Pity party.
@@LaMamaStar do enjoy being a jerk? is this the reason you come here to feel powerful by negating other people. How pathetic.
@@LaMamaStarwhy be so negative when saying bye bye to certain people? It’s a positive action when healing and then it becomes a part of a healthier life.
This. Those aren’t friends. I made the mistake of trusting someone like that—then found out the hard way that they’re highly narcissistic themselves.
@@LaMamaStarask yourself why you enjoy being a jerk? Then try growing a soul.
I had a major crisis in my life. It was the turning point. It drove me out. I needed them they left of a trip to Colorado. A trip we were supposed to go on together. I packed my things and left. Went no contact.
Daddy gloated so much whenever I needed him, he ended up training me to NEVER need him.
Sadly you are not alone, it hurts and confuses one…however I think in the long run, it’s a great wake up call. I am no longer expecting anything from mine anymore.
Thank you! Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m going through. Long story, but my mom is a narcissist. Now I si the patterns.
The devil you know is sometimes better (more comfortable) than the devil you don’t.
Narcissists are another add-on on top of the crisis. Hug.
I think that is part of what we see happening nationally. Trying to force a LOT of people into needing help from their abusers.
I have an inside view of what you are saying and I too still have to rely on narcissistic toxic family and friends, and it is sucks, however there is quite a few of them I have never let back in my life, narcissists are everywhere though, you are helping so many people doctor, thank you.
And this is why I stopped sharing my experiences with anyone except with understanding, supportive forums such as these ❤ On that note, a very big thank you to all of you who simply listen and validate my experiences ❤
Should I stop too
But I have no one
ditto for me, recently this totally sank in
@@komallachotra4583 I was in that situation for awhile.. one of my daughter’s friends just showed up at my door about 5 years ago. And is still helping but it’s mutual. I’m like where did she come from. I love her!
@@komallachotra4583U hv THIS forum. We r here to listen
I experienced this and overcame it. NC was essential, in my case.
Sending prayers to anyone going through this… the light at the end of the tunnel is not a dumpster fire, I promise.
Thank you for sharing ❤
My narc parents exploited every vulnerable situation I was in when I needed comfort, love, and understanding. They don’t have empathy or care about my well being.
I am in that situation as I type this. I’m so sorry this happened to you. These creatures really are human shaped husks. I’m planning my escape.
@@middleway1704I hope you can escape the toxic dynamic. I only escaped when I met my wife and she helped me see a different perspective. Then I had a daughter and realized that my family comes first and my mother didn’t like that at all bc she knew her control was slipping. But she’s the type that withdraws and runs away. So it worked out but I’m damaged.
So sori. U didnt deserve it.
Neither do my narcissistic parents. You’re not alone.🙁
I learned early on that the only thing I could count on about my family was that I could not count on them.
Same 😢
Took me a while to accept that. But I most certainly have now. They’re my biggest opps
Dr Ramani,
I am soo grateful for all the work you do. You open up my eyes. I have been in narsistic abuse victim for 30 years. I am in extreme agony. I lost my father a week ago. My husband is giving me and my daughter who is 26 yrs old silent treatment since we heard the news from back home. I couldn’t go to his funeral. My pain is quadrupled with his behavior. My daughter and I are sooo confused and hurt. We don’t understand this behavior. I know I need to leave but I have a teenage son who I can’t financially support since I am on disability. My monthly pay won’t even cover half the rent today. We don’t want to break this silent ask closures or explanation. We know he will blame shift and make us regret asking. I am hosting my guest who come for condolences by myself and can’t explain the situation to people. Please guide us so we can manage this pain❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏
I’m sorry, this is awful. Stay strong and try to take care and focus on yourself and the good people around you 🙏🏻
So Brilliant. Communicating with Narcissists on any level is always difficult and dehumanizing. Thank you so much for showing there are multiple ways to handle these situations, and that there is absolutely NO REASON to kick yourself over any of them. The rules you would apply with normal, empathic people DO NOT apply with Narcissists.
TRUE. ✔️
Every word so true and so sad.💔
A friend of mine had been blaming herself for having lost her love and gratitude to her husband who turned out a classic narc. He alone provides for their 2-kids-family. So my friend felt guilty for having to spend his money. Until a psychologist said to her:
“Didn’t you ever think that it’s actually YOUR money – just coming to you through his hands?” Because before marriage my friend could provide for herself all well. And this phrase changed her.
Indeed, narcs use their victims as their own energy ressource giving back just tiny scrumbles. If at all. So, looking at the issue from that point of view, – it’s not the victim who owes something to the narc. It’s the narc who pays some of his HUGE debt to his ressource back.
So, dear narc victims, stop blaming youself for trying to survive – you’re just good persons in bad circumstances.❤❤❤
Some captors demand that you take care of them emotionally, too.
Hugs to all my brothers and sisters who have ever been abused by these soulless demons. You are not alone. Just like all bullies they back down when we eventually take back what is ours: control of our own narrative. Even if you aren’t in a place to escape yet I see you and your struggles are valid. You are important and beautiful. I’m routing for you! Mama hugs from afar. ❤
Most Narcs exploit moments of vulnerability, using crisis as leverage rather than offering genuine care. Narc partners may appear helpful—but only when it serves their interests. If your survival ensures their comfort or control, they might drive you to the doctor during a bout of illness. But once your value as a source of supply diminishes—or a new supply is secured—the façade crumbles. Survivors’ stories are filled with accounts of driving themselves to the ER, surgery, or chemo, abandoned at the very moments they needed support most.