How to co-parent with a narcissist

I know many of you are living through the nightmare of co-parenting with a narcissist.

On The Dr. Ramani Network I break down how to protect your child when your ex is trying to win a power struggle.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @thegrayhuttos4092 says:

    Love your content!

  • @krw5723 says:

    Omg counter parenting with a narcissist is hell. They have NO BOUNDARIES and involve the kids emotionally in everything and use them as weapons. My ex drives me literally insane. For my bday I voluntarily went to the hospital bc nonstop gaslighting pushed me to want to unalive. I had no idea until we broke up how bad he could be. I wish it on no one. I’m a broken person.

    Everything reminds me of the Bible story of Solomon’s choice. Two women claiming to be the mother of a baby. And Solomon simply says, OK I’ll cut the baby in half and you can both have half. And the false mother says that’s fine. And the true mother says no, never mind, she can have the baby just let the baby be safe. that is literally every single day of my life. He wants to cut them emotionally in half literally, and I just have to sit there in pain and watch because I refuse to cut them in half. He argues with me and fights with me about stuff in front of them, and I refuse to engage, so they only ever see one side. I’ve had to tell them I will never defend myself to them, because in doing so, I might drag down their perception of their own father, and I don’t want them to think that their parents are awful people. Even their father. I would prefer they didn’t know the real him. But they are finding out.

  • @sharonchristian8508 says:

    Don’t expect to have a relationship with children after it’s over.
    My ex died Christmas 2023. Children are 51 and 49. They have completely rejected me. Obviously it is all my fault. The best I can do is respect the fact they are adults.

    • @appaloosa42 says:

      M-i-L Gone 10 years , uncle was the worst sucked thelife out of my husband( his identical twin) and me gone 2 years, hubby โ€˜depressedโ€™ so all I can do is go on building a life. Kids are in 40โ€™s & โ€˜50โ€™s, all but youngest were involved with narcissists. Grandkids swore off having kids, maybe for the best. Are they narcissists too?

    • @lorab1912 says:

      Exactly same false hope like a bad dream I can’t escape from. From 2002 to 2024 harassment poverty isolation & no family.

    • @sharonchristian8508 says:

      @@appaloosa42 My opinion is that Narcissism is a generationally contageous EVIL. My kids abstained from
      reproduceing because they didn’t want to spend their lives working for the benifit of someone else. In other words if anything didn’t benefit them they didn’t want to participate. Their father held the same belief.

    • @sharonchristian8508 says:

      @@lorab1912 There is a price to be paid for being a Truthteller, having an Internal Locust of Control. (Google the term if unfamiliar).
      It is a truth that (The Truth will set you free).
      I long ago chose to tell myself the truth and live on my own terms. I am a very loving, generous and kind person however I am alone, invisible and rejected by the people I once knew as family. So be it. I cannot afford to become angry, bitter or deceived about the life I’ve chosen to live. Truthtellers can’t lie to themselves most of all but there is a butcher bill for cutting off the lie.

    • @Babeatrice says:

      Itโ€™s not your fault. Please have compassion for yourself, and understand that the ab*se by the narc got to them, and without years of professional help and support, you never stood a chance.

  • @melisentiapheiffer3034 says:

    Thank God I won’t ever go through this!

  • @orielwiggins2225 says:

    This is one of most under discussed areas of narcissistic abuse. The triangulation and parental alienation attempts by the Nex. It’s detrimental effects on kids has not been given anything near the weight it really needs to, as they suffer in ways that have been labeled by researchers, up there with survivors of incest. I know that sounds over dramatic, but from someone who’s both lived this as the child, and the other parent who’s child was successfully tortured and turned against me by this vindictive strategy, I cannot highlight this enough.

    Anyone who’s got children and a narcissistic co parent, please read Divorce Poison, Before divorce, if possible. I only wish I had the knowledge about this that I do now. I did everything I could to give her the freedom to love be loved by both parents, but that was never reciprocated and the wisdom at the time was silence is better than “speaking negatively” of the Nex. But it wasn’t. She needed to know what was happening to her and how slander /dilusion was distorting her perspective and ultimately her identity and personality. But *I* didn’t even know what was happening til way too late.

    Thank you Dr Ramani for featuring these things and keeping the main thing the main thing.

  • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

    I had to study up on parental alienation- bingo! What does a narcissist not attack or use?!! Which I didnโ€™t know at the time. You got to be really on your toes counter parenting , I have a friend going through this mess now! Sheโ€™s been doing a pretty Dern good job holding her ground . Narcs are just awful people!! Luckily my friend is the one with the money. He manipulates the emotions of their child. Always some mess to try and clean up!

  • @CarolanRoss says:

    The title here “how to co-parent with a narcissist” ??? You simply can’t. There is no partnership of ANY kind. Each and every day is a power struggle. Of course you want to protect kids from that battle zone, but it is very very hard to do in real life.

  • @NickInSanDiego says:

    Dr. Ramani – Iโ€™ve been dealing with parental alienation for the last 5+ years that started with a custody battle with my childโ€™s covert vulnerable narcissistic mom. There have been so many struggles coparenting. I was wondering if you might be able to elaborate on this topic when coparenting with a narcissistic ex. There is a relatively new YouTuber, Madi who started a channel about a year ago called The Anti-Alienation Project. She is an adult child who was alienated from her dad for 20 years before she found out, and is now in the process of reuniting with her dad, and getting the word out wherever she can about this form of emotional abuse. Perhaps you could collaborate with her on a video. Could be an interesting and informative topic for a future video, and help other parents like myself that struggle with losing a child to this form of malignant behavior. Bless you for all you do!

  • @notoriousMAG says:

    You can’t co-parent while together, how could courts consider you can co-parent when divorced?

  • @user-uc6gg1jq6i says:

    Currently going through this with my stepdaughter. Her mom has never been there by choice, on her time she only made time for SD when it was time to drop her back off with us. Fast forward weโ€™ve moved state along with SD, moment we had a baby, bio mom started showing attention to SD, we went to court they assigned an ed litem, SD stayed here with us. Well now because mom โ€œlostโ€ all her false allegations well now sheโ€™s showering SD with material items and now dad is the worst, sheโ€™s crawled herself into our home by manipulating SD and sadly she goes along with it because we donโ€™t give her all these materials and have rules and values here. Itโ€™s hell, mom is using SD and my SD doesnโ€™t even see it, but she just knows she hates it here itโ€™s a shame because weโ€™re in therapy and nothing is working we canโ€™t seem to connect with her anymore.

  • @jonanon8193 says:

    @DoctorRamani please talk more on what you say to your kids in this situation – you have already said more tangible things that I have heard from other experts in Parental Alienation.

  • @shaz4532 says:

    If you are a decent person, then grab your children and FLEE from the narcissist! A good person can only be severely harmed by a narcissist! Thereโ€™s no other option!

  • @kennethfreeman4041 says:

    I waited till my kids were grown and then left her and moved 1300 miles away. It was a horrible 18 years. Now, I don’t have to see her or her flying monkeys . It has been so peaceful and relaxing .

  • @socalgirl4351 says:

    I’m crying and I’m only 1 minute into this video. Going through this as well ๐Ÿฉต so thankful for Dr. Ramani

  • @TheLove1Makes says:

    Breaks my heart.

  • @Supernaturalluck777 says:

    Doctor Ramani! Thank you for changing my life. I wish you all the blessings of the universe! I am forever grateful!

  • @ArianrhodKarma says:

    Oh, girl! I’m in a similar situation, and I feel your pain! How do we protect them from their father?!?! It is so heartbreaking on so many levels.

  • @WatersBreedlove says:

    Please cover Parental Alienation Syndrome! It is the hallmark of Cluster-B but still invisible to the courts! ๐Ÿ’”

  • @1012ado1962 says:

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    • @mfchavezx says:

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      I’m a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down ๐Ÿคฆof myself because of low finance but I still believe in God ๐Ÿ™.

    • @1012ado1962 says:

      Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested MS CHRISTINE EVELYN MACKIE

    • @1012ado1962 says:

      She’s a licensed broker here in the states ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and finance advisor.

    • @1012ado1962 says:

      After I raised up to 525k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ also paid for my son’s surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

    • @cayla2fye says:

      I’ve always wanted to be involved for a long time but the volatility in the price has been very confusing to me. Although I have watched a lot of YouTube videos about it but I still find it hard to understand.

  • @toomanypetsful says:

    I already legally lost my son to my ex and his new wife. Yet, they still find ways to mess with me. Even doing questionable things and illegal activity. Good luck to everyone dealing with co parenting with a monster.

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