How YOUR EGO is keeping you trapped in a narcissistic relationship
Why does it feel so hard to heal after a narcissistic relationship? Sometimes, the answer lies in our own unhealthy ego—the part of us that wants justice, the last word, or even a little revenge. In this video, we’ll explore how ego, both healthy and unhealthy, shows up in narcissistic relationships and why understanding this can help you break free from the toxic cycles. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the fight or caught in endless frustration, this is the insight you need.
Once again, Dr Ramani, much gratitude sent your way as well as to this online community!
Antagonistic/narcissistic people can provoke an out of character response from peaceful, kind people. When that happens to me, I give myself grace and walk away knowing I need space from that person. It’s normal to fight back/allow unhealthy ego to have a minute when someone keeps coming at you.
Thank you. Perfectly stated ❤
If I can walk away. When depleted that unhealthy ego does come a knocking 😮 one can only take so darn much!
This is the Dr. that I followed to get myself out of the depression trough. Listen, she s a good balanced leader
Good for you🎉🎉. She is awesome. I wish I could find a therapist like her.
“Don’t let the unhealthy ego run the show” this is big thanks. I just step back, disengage, and be me!
Disengage. Yes. I hope I can from now on.
Thanks! I have been tempted to use someone’s “well wishes words” back at them, in token birthday card and other greetings (we are in a family situation). That would be the unhealthy ego at work. I will be healthier than this.; and it will help me feel better.
Knowing where to draw the line between the narcissist’s unhealthy ego projection on you and seeing yourself as healthy requires lots of patience and healthy ego training.
You see this all the time, in ROAD RAGE when their unhealthy ego takes control.
Control, aggression and entitlement.
Very true. Problem is there are so many ridiculous people on the planet, it’s very easy to have an ego response in a way that’s not helpful to ourselves. It’s a hair trigger response to something (imo) from the past where there was an injustice that couldn’t be controlled. Finding fresh ways to see it and work it out and trusting ourselves, seems to be the best way to keep ourselves safe from toxic people, that provoke the reaction.
Yes. That’s why Dr. Ramani’s videos are so helpful.
I can proudly say I used my healthy ego during a malicious, prolonged divorce! The legal system needs only ONE person to drive that train! I was forced into a very long and sadistic divorce by just responding to all the litigation. There were times I was curled up on the floor begging God to take me. It cost me 60 thousand dollars, bankruptcy, and towards the end – breast cancer! But I’m here! And I learned that I am a damn strong woman!
When I read the title, I had a feeling what was going to be said which was keeping me attached to my awful nex. It is so frustrating to know better, and still not behave better. Thank you for the work you keep doing. It matters a LOT!
Every single word and action has to be measured otherwise you’ll hear about it over and over again. Holding back the unhealthy ego is hard work because they have a way of bringing it out.
Yes, they break out the worst in me.
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And these people often get off on your reactions to them. So gross.
I have been watching your channel for many years and have healed so much with your help. But this video Dr. Ramani, hits home in a very deep way. I work in public education and deal with hundreds of people everyday and some of them are quite toxic. Usually I can navigate around bad situations, but once in a while because of the unfairness of the system, as you say, my ego keeps me trapped in the loop of toxicity. From now on when I spin out of control, I will think back to this video and hopefully be able to recognize that I am in a “Ego Wild Horse Moment” and I need to go DEEP instead.
Dr.Ramani, thank you for all your work and sharing . I’m working to focus to understand your educated and thoughtful
concepts. I hope that I’m really getting them. I do catch myself sort of losing focus at times. This seems like it happens at the points where you are over the target. I’m leaning into the wind and focusing. I’ll listen several times if I need to as I don’t want to waste the growth opportunities you are so graciously offering.
For years, I thought success was all about working harder and pushing myself. But Mind Decoding by Keezano showed me that mindset is everything. I started working on my subconscious beliefs, and suddenly, things started flowing in ways I never expected. Honestly, I wish I had understood this years ago, it’s been one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life
I don’t know why Mind Decoding by Keezano is so hard to find, but after reading it, I get it. This book breaks down exactly why some people keep struggling while others seem to attract success effortlessly. It’s not about working harder—it’s about decoding the invisible forces shaping your decisions. After applying what it teaches, I started seeing doors open that I never thought possible..life-changing book
It’s crazy how we spend so much time worrying about politics and social media, but we forget the most important foundation- our faith. Recently l read Your Life Your Game by Keezano, and it reminded me that trusting in God, accepting forgiveness, and living with intention are the real keys to living an abundant life, this book truly changed me…
Day 4 of listening to Dr Ramani’s daily videos and deeply relating. Last night I happened to do a search on the ego after an interaction with someone. Today Dr. Ramani talks about ego. This week’s videos were full of building blocks for healing for me. My ego must be getting healthier.
I keep trying to figure out why I keep working to “make him”.. Yes I’ve worked on # letting go of Hope, #needing Justice, #Loss, Grief & Hurt # Radical Except & Expectations and so forth. Yet I’m stuck in this volatile anger, I respond, & thus I stay engaged. This information/ teaching of my defence ego, has shed a very important light on (for lack of better wording) ‘Why’ Im doing this when I know better. I hope Dr R. you will continue to enlighten us on this topic. I went from understanding “omg that’s him” then understanding it’s not me, reading your book ” It’s Not You” (A Must Have! I listen- audio bk over & over). Lots of work in-between. Now, I feel I have some movement again. It’s a welcome breath in my healing journey- as I am one of those who can’t leave. Thank you Dr. Romani
Thank you for your wonderful advice! It’s such a relief and comfort to know that someone understands what you are living! There are so many conflicting feelings when you are in a narcissistic relationship and when you realize the only peace you will have is to leave it! Thank you again sharing your wisdom and experience- I am so grateful I found you!
I had an insight that I don’t think you (Dr. Ramani) directly covered: for the narcissist, winning is having a situation interpreted on Their terms; it reinforces their “reality” and so dulls their shame. Nothing calls them out (unconsciously) like acting from a different interpretation!
My unhealthy ego drove the train for years. Fighting for the truth and resolution to problems.
And then I stopped and went wirh acceptance and shut up and divorced and left. I’ve never been happier.
I’ve also learned to not engage with this type of creature. Just shut up and know I’m right. Not feeding anyone now
The truth set me free