How your narcissistic parent shaped your life story
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissistic parents can affect everything about you. Your self-perception, your self-esteem, and even the choices and decisions you make in life. Having a narcissistic parent makes you far more likely to end up in relationships with narcissists and to be targeted by narcissists in the workplace. It can potentially shape the rest of your life. Unless you become aware of it and you set strong boundaries. Narcissistic predators can sniff out your childhood wounds. They look for vulnerabilities in people and exploit them to gain control.
There should be a course in schools just on the education of the narcissist.
@DrRamani great job ❤❤
I swear this is my life I was physically assaulted by a neighbors baby father, she made him do it because he was homeless living off of her and her other two children. Ever wear I moved I’m dealing with narcissistic people who I consistently call the police 🚓🚨 they didn’t even arrest him smfh…
People can smell fear
@@breakthroughmoment1647fear where dear?
Having a narcissistic parent really made me question my identity at every turn because I was constantly told who I should be, how I should act, and what I should value. I lost sense of who I am and made me doubt myself all the time. Even now, I feel stuck when I have to make decisions making me feel indecisive all the time because I’m scared I’ll choose wrong or that someone will judge me for it. It’s like I’m always hearing their voice in my head, telling me I’m not good enough, as I’ve spent so much of my life trying to please them or push back, and I never stopped to figure out what I actually want.
So true of me, too. I’m trying to piece together who I really am and kick the narc who’s never satisfied out of my head, and it’s really challenging and time-consuming.
It is so hard.
You cannot unhear what you have heard.
When you are called specially on your 18th birthday, you hope it is for a gift.
You did not realise that is only for a lecture about what Mum had to give up for the last 18 years.
And NEVER EVER to come back and ask for help!!!
Thrilling!!
They instill self doubt, it keeps adult children stuck, just what they want to elevate themselves.
@@LindaMcLean513 That must have been devastating to hear on your birthday. Hope you are faraway from that and doing better.
I became a clown. It was the only way to survive my angry miserable parents. I grew up seriously screwed up.
Me too!!!!
❤️🩹🫂
❤❤❤❤@@LPoppy2023
@th❤❤❤elordcomanderwhocriedwolf
They interfere in every aspect of your life it seems as if your life is not yours anymore. They even dictate when you should breathe.
Just now at 45 years young realizing wtf really went down my whole life. It’s heart breaking and now I isolate. Not giving anyone the chance and not going to go thru anymore hurt. I’m actually happy alone. Just want to be left alone. Parents were way way over bearing narcs.
@AH-wx1rt that is me to a “T”!!!!! I realized what was going on at 43. Right after having my eyes opened I went no contact. It’s been 6 yrs and never looked back. It’s me only now. My 19yr old son lives at home with me, but other than my kids, I’m always alone and like it also. I had to comment cause I read your comment and it’s so me!
@GaganMilanianfriends me too! I have my 7 yr old at home. 3 adult children off on their own and 8 grandkids. Their the only ones I want around. They also realized that gma and GPA were off their rockers and now see how they conditioned them to believe lies about me and rewarded them for lying about about me etc etc smfh but now I love my peaceful bubble. It’s all I ever wanted
I hear you….
I am 3yrs now no contact.
I have one friend that understands me. ME.
I am greatful for Dr Ramini.
Stay cool and groovy.
i’m a scapegoat since very young age, now i’m 51, so true, they are very delusional and cruel
Except for my best friend Marion I just want to be alone too.
I was an alcoholic for 20 years. Never could fully quit until 6 months after narc parent died.
I was also an addict! Hooked on pain pills! Been clean 7 yrs. Please go read the article “psychological murder, death by covert abuse”. Just google that title and it will come up. It says how most of us either r come an addict or unalive ourselves. It’s very spot on!
❤️🩹🫂
My mother was a narcissist, so naturally my ex was a narcissist. I drank heavily for the last 10 years of my relationship. I quit drinking the day I left my ex and have not had a drink since.
I stopped sucking my thumb at 55 post narc demise
@@JanTe007 I can relate I stopped sucking my thumb later than toddler age also either plus I’ve got other habits that I’m still doing that aren’t the best just they’re just too embarrassing to talk about that’s all.
I grew up as a natural caregiver feeling there were always others worse off than me that needed my help. I enjoy giving and being empathetic. However, being and growing so attuned to the needs of others, I wasn’t used to considering my own needs or need for boundary setting, just going with the flow that presented, I suppose not realizing fully that I could create my own flow. This, I am realizing for myself now. This video brought me more understanding of the effect of my narcissistic mom and emotional neglect and abuse. Thank you Dr.Ramani ! Bless you and all those here! Sending Love and Light ♥️🌟🎶🙏🏼😇🌈🕊💫
❤
@@earthrooster1969 🥰♥️🙏🏼
Being quiet and obedient when you really wanted to speak up about being belittled by them.
“Be seen, not heard.” “That’s back talking”
I feel seen ❤
I agree.. Be quiet and do as you’re told and DO NOT VOICE your emotions or you’ll get the crap knocked out of you..
We all are here to hear you out now, today and forever. I se you and I believe you.
@@marymonthei250 I know right dear I knew that about be seen and not heard so I took it a step further well if I have to be seen and not heard I’m going to be not seen and not heard so I threw myself into my music and writing and wrote about my bad relationship with my dad and stuff like that.
This is so good. Narcissism is systemic, including mental health care and social work. Acknowledging narcissistic systems is crucial.
6:26 being successful but NOT too successful…that hit hard!
I always wondered why my parents and siblings wanted me ‘financially independent’ but never celebrate my career successes…but often time recall ‘failures’ from my past!!!
I had to be an obedient servant. I learned early in life that I had to work for approval and love. I meant nothing to them. There’s no love in a narcissistic family system.
Yes, that can be quite complex. I never got approval or love for being an obedient servant. It was expected of me. I lived in fear of what would happen to me if I didn’t live up to those expectations.
I had an abusive childhood, so thought my adult relationships were “normal” but I did try so hard, for many years, to *fix* my narc husband… Encouraging him to therapy, supportibg him through tantrums etc. But nothing ever changed. I only learnt what gaslighting was at 37. They should teach it at school. Knowing the behaviours had patterns and names was SO validating!
I’m sorry to hear that. I also only learned about gaslighting in my 40s, thanks to Dr. Ramani’s channel. I hope you have a happy life and find healing. There is still plenty of life left to enjoy!
56 years of fighting back against a horrible mother, 2 years free and so glad.
3 weeks free
I really appreciate that you talk about your own experiences too. Hearing you say you felt imposter syndrome because you didn’t become a physicist etc etc like your parents wanted blew my mind because YOURE A DOCTOR. but that just goes to show the number that having narcissistic parents has on a kid.
The narc parent will never be happy. You do you and be happy,
🫂❤️🩹❤️🔥
I’m 43 black male and begun therapy in 2020 to heal trauma from childhood. I have a narcissistic mother and father, toxic family in which I was the scapegoat and blacksheep of both sides of family. Molested by 3 different people as a child for years in which one of them was an uncle, also I’m gay licibg in the south, and right now I am dealing with cancer… so yeah lot of trauma… I’m still waiting for somone genuine to come into my life and actually see me… I been through all that above and yet I still people always come up to me and say I have the biggest smile or i have great energy… I allow people to be who they are without judgment and now I learned since 2020 to trust myself and not seek validation … I love how no matter all I been through I still have hope that I will fall in love and have friends that love me… I can’t lost the hope cause it’s the only thing that I had to keep trying And keep smiling.. sometimes I think that part of my purpose in this life was to give the love I never had to others … and in another life or world or dimension I have all that love
My heart goes out to you. Admire your strength and willingness to heal and keep the faith. God loves you. 😊
We just need to make sure that the receivers are worthy of our gold. Don’t waste it on the loveless.
Sending prayers your way! 🙏🏾
You are are beautiful soul and you did not deserve the trauma that your parents put you through. The fact that you are still here and doing your best to live your authentic life is a victory in and within itself. I may not know you personally but I am proud of You. Let me say it again I AM PROUD OF YOU! ❤❤❤
Isn’t it fascinating that everything we are, the good (hyper empathy, agreeableness, etc.) and the bad (lack of self, self-worth, boundaries, etc.) is actually a trauma response? ALL of our brains are formatted in our childhood. Our core personality is formatted in our formative years. Often, finding out that we’re in a narcissistic relationship allows us to put a finger on things we never had a name for. It’s heartbreaking to realize how little a say we’ve had in our life. UNTIL NOW. We now have the tools we need to break the cycle and become mold breakers, generational-curse breakers, and light bringers. We don’t have to stay stuck with who we were made into, and do the same to our children. We can keep the good and work on leaving the bad behind. IT STOPS WITH US!!! ❤
Boy did I need this video today. You described my personality exactly and my adult relationships to a T. I’m in my 40s and I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I like and how I want to live my life. My entire identity from activities I’ve done, how I interact with people, my constant need to be a people pleaser, and my need for perfectionism has all been shaped as a way to keep my mother’s rages at bay. I especially needed this today because I mentioned my mother is a narcissist and the first reaction I got was, “You’re not a psychologist. You can’t diagnose her and even if she is a narcissist now you’re just blaming someone with mental illness.” This was said in an online support group for estranged children. So, boy am I thankful for you and your community. It’s a place where I feel like someone gets my experience. Thank you from my bottom of my heart.
I’m sorry that happened to you, it is awful to hear such a thing. I hope that comment did not make you question your own experiences, because you know best and no one else!
Instead of a cardiologist, doctor of that internal organ, you became a doctor of the soul. Now that’s a calling. I’m so glad. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
When I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, it was obvious that my mom resented me, even though she appeared to be very supportive. Underneath it all, I felt her true feelings. Her true energy.
Same here.