If A Man Is Not Committed To Commitment, He’s Not Ready (WATCH TILL THE END)
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– If A Man Is Not Committed To Commitment, He's Not Ready
It’s REALLY unfair and unloving to try to shoehorn a man into someone he is not. It borders on obsessive and stalker. Try The Work – Byron Katie. It’s free!
Gina – I feel for you. I focus on the man too much. Now it’s different tho. When he starts to make his situation more important than mine, i tell him I must have an equal exchange or it’s a no go. Jonathan is right. Step back and give him time to know what he wants. You should reevaluate too. It’s so easy to lose the equilibrium.
Personally, I would get contacts (as a fresh change if u can) and move on! You are smart, kind, and gorgeous!!! His freakin loss.
I think he’s not that into her and he’s looking at other women. I think she needs to walk away and be her best self. She needs to work on her self esteem and self worth. ❤ A great man is out there for her when she realizes that she deserves him.
Maybe
Opens up, consistency, values, life vision, affectionate
Sounds like the men I have been with in my past… I call them “unavailable” .
When someone tells you they need time to figure themselves out, that is an excuse, and it’s an excuse that’s popular in the dating pool.
He might want to break up but he’s not sure, or “he”doesn’t want to hurt you”, a version of “It’s not you, it’s me”. But then when you run into him accidentally, buying groceries with the new person, or getting out of the car with her, you’re fucked. What a bullshitter, and you
can’t bullshit a bullshitter.
However, by saying he “doesn’t want to hurt you” he’s setting up one of the most painful situations in a relationship. But he’s not being honest, and that sucks, grounds for dismissal..
Sometimes these things happen for no apparent reason, but someone who wants to. continue with you in his life would never use that excuse. In fact, quite the opposite, he would use every opportunity to be with you, and would never put anything in the way of that goal.
Upon receiving this kind of message, your first thought might be, “Okay, that makes sense” because you’re flexible and you want to be with the newest and best version of him. But then the second thought is “why can’t he do his upgrade while living as a couple WITH me?”
And by saying he “doesn’t want to hurt you” he’s doing the exact opposite, setting up one of the most painful situations in any relationship.
But unfortunately, when/if you get back together, this dysfunction will only continue and escalate. But if you end things,..at least you have chance to find a relationship that’s healthy…
.
…
..
@everyone- thank you for your feedback , Especially Jonathon. ❤. We are now in communication, and are going to set aside some time to talk about the issues. We are working towards getting to a better place. We owe it to ourselves to understand each other better and start fresh 🥰
🙏
@@JonathonAslay this chat with you is very much appreciated ❤️. Oh my nerves 😬
Hey Gina, my two cents is to not be too accommodating with him. Ultimately he should come out of the talk believing he’s going to lose you if the relationship doesn’t improve, but you must follow it up with action. I hope this goes the way you want it to. I think you’ll find nothing will change and another year of your life will go by.
Well…this may have been an answer to prayer! If I don’t have a commitment soon (year end), I’m going to move on. It’s been over a year, we are both quite old, and I’m tired of being told how wonderful and important I am to him (constantly, daily!) but no concrete plans for a future. Even though we both stated from the onset that we were looking for marriage and that’s why we were in the dating “market”. I’m tired of being in the “layaway” at my age, and his excuses are starting to affect how I feel about him. Thanks, Jonathon, for saying out loud what I’ve been saying to myself!
Personally I’d much rather a man need me than love me. What is love anyway? I love ice cream but I don’t need it. I love lots of things but I don’t need them. Needing someone is so much stronger than loving someone. I’m not talking about codependency. Thanks for the video.
It really shouldn’t be this hard
Or maybe that’s how we grow.
It’s not that hard, we women make it hard! Once I learned about men and stopped being so ‘nice’ and accommodating, things became very easy! I enjoyed a fun dating life, ups and downs, and finally met my guy in 2022. ❤️
Thank you! To hear this was so helpful with what I was struggling with for years. God Bless
Glad it was helpful!
It sounds like she is trying to sell us on him
Kinda
This guy will know exactly what she wants he just doesn’t want to change. Older men just want something simple without any effort. Just live your life woman, see him if you feel like it but see other people too if you want. We’re all tok😊 old. It is what it is. If you love him, keep e you have with yourself! seeing him! Real love doesn’t make demands! There is no happy ever after, except the one you have with yourself!
Thank you, Jonathan to remind me to stay in my power and sovereignty✨
Exactly
She is too much . Energy is pushing.
.
I have been accused of talking too much. I was also nervous. But thanks!
I believe Gina is just a placeholder until something better comes along for him. These are the kinds of scenarios where he marries the next one to come along.
She has tried to mold herself into being what she thinks he needs, instead of requiring from him what she needs. She should have picked up her self respect and walked away a year ago.
She is trying to cram a square peg into a round hole. He is not a match.
Yes
@@tammi6174 so very well said and I couldn’t agree more. Amen!!
Gina, TALK IS CHEAP MY DEAR. Your male friend is not ready for a real committed relationship and his words are meaningless without concrete actions to back up of his words. You need to get counseling for yourself and work on your codependency issues and you need to learn to love yourself. When you heal, you’ll make better choices of men and not trauma bond with emotionally unavailable men. You gave a great heart, but you need to learn to love yourself, set healthy boundaries, and refrain from getting sexually involved with anyone until there’s actually a commitment and the man’s actions consistently back up his words. After you get counseling, you’ll realize that guy has serious issues and needs to seek counseling. Best wishes and prayers for your healing. 🙏
Indeed
Gina you are
Pretty and have a nice personality. I say give him the space he needs so much so that you take care
Of you and enjoy life without his sorry butt!!
Indeed
I love you vomit analogy-it’s reality! Done it! For five years!