Lessons from people who are “immune” to narcissists
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
People who are immune to narcissists will have high self esteem and be self validated.
Phucking Ayyyeee….!! 🧐 For the “Force” 👽 has bestowed upon you Laser Sharp Insight..!! For the Purposes of Exposing the Phucking Narc in “Hypnotic YouTube Videos..!!” 🎥..🎬..👀 😵..🤤..🤭 Thanx..!! 😎
ML🙋🏼♀️hi ns
David Gibson No! What they said is that people with high self esteem and confident don’t need to seek validation from anyone, let along a narcissist. That is why high self esteem people can handle a narcissist well.
Spot on! Thus the wear-down, tiny slights here and there meant to chip away at us, leaving us vulnerable to quiet, degrading and extremely intimidating degrading remarks leaving us with “It’s ok, the narc’s just having a bad day hoping to give us their bad mood, who isn’t a bit off now and again, after all they’re ageing!” Ya ageing and weak so much so that that shovel their using to bury our emotions and pride with is ‘invisible’!
@@alwayslevitated9089 omg thats hilarious
The one thing she left off… a sense of humor. The damage TOXIC people do is NOT funny. But everyone knows that a person with a sense of humor about their pain/troubles is far more likely to HEAL and stay healthy. Instead of just shrugging… give yourself the permission to laugh at the absurdity every chance you get. Good humor is medicine.
I needed to hear this. It gives me hope. Thank you.
Interesting fact I observed: Narcs never laugh whole heartedly and they get offended when you laugh like that at something. They give you a look like you are stupid. Laughter is healing! And they dont want others to be feeling better then they do…
Thanks for the reminder. It’s so liberating to put words to the crazy making behavior & learn some strategies along the way.
I sooo agree, after all they are the ones with a big big problem, we just happened to,be there.
Anna K omg exactly what I also detected they hate when we have genuine feelings,
Remember, just because you “can” take it, doesnt mean you should. A relationship where I haven’t to be constantly resilient and suffering is not one I want.
Exactly
You are soooo right….I used to think that suffering meant I was being the peace keeper, but really I was just creating more oppressed emotions. Im finally free from the people on a daily basis and learned to keep them at bay. Now I have my own negative introject to retrain and re-frame.
Connor Bee that is actually a great quote.👍
Words of the wise. Its true, it can surprise you just how much you as well as other people can take crap or slight offences/covert abuse just because the narcissist knows not to push it any further. But that’s just it, they are always pushing for you to take more abuse. Great insight, thank you.
Did you mean “have to be”?
The one who cares the least carries the most power.
Least engaged = least damaged in the long run
That’s a valid point. I have gotten to that place now, took me a long time, but I have finally learned to just CHILL!
Exactly. The moment I stopped caring was the moment my physical health started getting better too. It was really shocking to experience.
I recently filed a police report against him, for Simple assault.
He got off due to lack of Evidence.
HE IS SO ANGRY AT ME(!!!!) for filing the charges–, keeps saying what it “could’ve done” to His life.
But,
Taking NO RESPONSIBILITY for the assault.
Says now, it’ll Be Awhile before we are Intimate, Again.
Oh honey, you’re going to try and Punish Me by withholding Sex…?
I Could Care Less—– I went for YEARS, WITHOUT. INTENTIONALLY.
So, ya… Whoever cares Less, WINS.
@@suzanne4396 oh yeah the withholding affection and sex move. That was my husband’s favorite game to play
Nothing is more intimidating to a narcissist than an educated empath.
A fully healed and empowered one, yes. Not one panicking when they forgot to wear their protective gemstone 😄💪👍
So so well put.
So true!
So much yes
I certainly hope so! Because, now that I’ve found Ramani, Grannon, and Romano, I went from a self-doubting empath to an educated empath eager to use my skills. Knowing yourself is armor! Thanks so much Dr. Ramani and all other Narcissist educators! Thanks for the reminder, Truth Serum, pal!
The moment you accept that they are emotionally crippled, you become immune. Low expectations from a narc is a lifesaver
Low or no expectations….
You just know that they’re not even worth your expectation.💖
That’s a great thought to hold on to and easy to remember. Thanks!
@@user-of9bx1uk3u
They’re not worth knowing.
I keep wanting to cripple the crippled in the knees
My current mantra;
Your actions are a reflection of you,
My reactions are an awareness of me.
That is simple yet so profound
💪💪💪
I like this
Love thus.
Love that!
🌿🕊️💕🌍
I had a friend who would say ‘that’s a whole lot of not-my-problem. Lol I loved this phrase.
My daughter says “that’s a non issue”. 🙂👍
Love it!
Where was this line 2 yrs ago lol
@@nonavandre8960 …..yes ! That’s a great line isn’t it ! 👍🙂
I’m borrowing this too 🙂 thank you
Eleanor Rosevelt said, “What others think of me is none of my business”.
True.
…But when their thoughts cause me potential pain or harm, [then] it becomes my business! 😐
So, there’s that.
@@TLW369 In times of Rosevelt, narc could get into face for not watching their mouth, and most probably you would’t go to jail. Nowaday everything changed, you can’t touch narcs body , but they can touch your brain and mind.
This is one of my favorite quotes! She also said, “ No one can make you feel inferior without your permission “. Another one of my favs by Elenor Roosevelt! She was so full of wisdom! 🌸💜
Love her!
That’s smart. I like that.
As someone here has already stated…
“Being Financially Independent is KEY to being Emotionally Independent…”
Much easier to distance yourself!
Yes. Women must focus on their income, as part of their sense of not needing another person who is a Narc . Especially if there are kids involved. The sad part is many codependents feel unable to keep employment due to a squashed sense of self. I had head injuries and memory issues, and I had to find bosses that appreciated my creative talents and accepted my slow math and processing skills. So we must find income and ask God for Help and then miracle happen. I now make a great income .
YES
Emotional Independence it really achieved through the Process of (Paying attention to where Thoughts are or are going), i.e. “Conscious in Thought”.
@@bethbartlett5692 That is crucial….you are right. However, you simply must be financially independent or you’ll just be surviving. And we all deserve to thrive and you cannot do it with a narc.
P.S. This mean one has to be rich, but be able to take care of yourself financially…and of course your kids.
@@mswriter3612 God bless you…. Throwing a PARTY WITH YOU! 🎉 🎈 🎊
My husband is literally immune to narcissism, this is a big reason I fell inlove with him. I knew he could handle my family, and help me in my healing journey. He is total opposite of gaslighty, he is calm, peaceful, never yells, never takes things personally, he is the sweetest and has given me so much security
My husband is the same. I’m blessed
You are shooting blessed
My husband is the same. He would call my mom on her narcissistic stuff and she would just laugh (somehow she was ok with him not agreeing with her). It gave me the space to be my own person. She passed on 2 years ago and I’m still grieving the mother I wish I’d had, the one who liked me and praised me. But having my husband in my life has been a blessing.
You are one lucky girl!!!!
My partner is like this. I love him for all the same reasons.
Woman you have saved me so many hours of stress, and for that I sincerely thank you. You do a fine job of articulating irrational behavior in a way that the rational mind can understand. It clears the cloudiness that ‘crazy making’ causes. May your work reach all those you can help.
❤same❤❤
Yessssss ❤❤❤ thanks for every lesson you are teaching…thanks for your clear speaking…it is so helpful learning to understand the irritating behaviour of narcisstic people !!! 17:01
My son is. Surprisingly he recognises the bs, the manipulation, the toxicity but it doesn’t dim his joy. He listens, shrugs, moves on. It never fails to surprise me.
Hearing this, I realized my husband is immune. He can completely ignore someone or grey rock. He’s quiet and narcissists think he is stand- offish and unfriendly because he doesn’t engage with them. He can completely “check out” at those types of meetings at work. If it’s family, he’ll either avoid all together by hiding in a room “working” or say the most minimal thing possible when spoken to. He just doesn’t take it personally and can filter the BS. Used to annoy me, but after hearing this, it’s truly a gift.
Hiding in a room to avoid narcissist whilst leaving other people to deal with them. Very selfish. My husband does this and I’m stuck with the narcissist getting abused by them.
@@So-in5xi Fix your own problems then and dont expect him to do it for you.
For me I’m really good at being immune if I don’t like the person, setting boboundaries. But when I love someone 😢
That’s a good way to be
I admire your father. That is awesome
Growing up in a narcissistic family dynamic has enabled me to understand that narcissistic people are truly broken on the inside, which allows me to shrug it off because I understand that they need help and it’s nothing to do with me. Great video Dr 👍
1. Don’t take it personally
2. Don’t try to change the narcissus
3. Engage in self preservation – set & maintain boundaries
4. Not afraid of narcissus
5. Know when to cut losses – step away, shrug it off
6. Dnt derived their self worth from the narcissus – have strong self esteem & confidence
7. Dnt get affected/overwhelmed by those who enable the narcissus
Great tips, thank u!
Thank you.
Easier said than done!
Legend for making this list
Now try having a child with one. Im stronger now but to try to screw with my relationship with my child is nothing i can shrug off or walk away from.
Thanks for the list.
My late husband was so good at this. The last time my mother came to visit my daughter was giving birth. I was becoming a grandmother for the first time and she a great-grandmother. It should have been a wonderful time. She was so awful and belittling to me, that by the time I took her to the airport we were barely speaking. I never saw her again and she never saw her great-grandaughter again. I was extremely upset and asked my husband why did she even come. He said ‘Darlin, it was all for show. Just let her go!’ So, that’s exactly what I did. God I miss that man!!
Unfortunately, after his passing I managed to get into a relationship with a very narcissistic man. I don’t know how I lost my way, but I did. Probably trauma bonding due to my mother. Anyhow, in therapy now and trying to find my way back.
I was married to a narcissist for nearly 20 years. It makes me so happy to hear about good husbands. I never missed mine. I was grateful he wasn’t around.
Your late husband sounds lovely. It’s wonderful that you habe memories of how he reacted to these things.
I fell for 2 in a row. It undid years of therapy but it wasn’t total lost. I have my voice back.I am remembering what I forgot.
The secret to becoming narc immune.. Is to NOT take them seriously. These are people who are self involved and committed to insanity… There is no need to participate and lose yourself/life to the madness. Leave them to it. 🤷♀️
I was going to like this comment but then I saw I already did when I watched this video last time they blew up on me for something small. That says something LOL. Learning to detach from the abuse only makes us smarter! You’re so right. Why should we take someone who can’t control their own emotions serious? Bless up and take care ❤
@@SelenaLuvGomez “Why should we take someone who can’t control their own emotions serious?” Ohhh, that’s so good! Thanks . . . that helped me.
I suppose I have developed partial immunity over the years… when the man I was “with” until yesterday started telling me I “talk too much” early in our connection, I just calmly if sarcastically said, “Yes, I have been told that” and let it go. But he has not let go of that accusation, for the last few months it has taken the turn of me not letting him speak, not “getting” it, “not listening.” The volume increases, pretty soon it is a full-on shouting match. Key: do not try to get in the final word. It won’t happen. There is no final word except the narcissist’s. When you have had enough, just leave.
Sounds like you are a difficult person. You should work on that.
“The day you stop caring about what they think” – yes, that is the day
So true. ❤😊
Me & My Ex Narc was Married for 12years with Children. I did all my possible best to be faithful to him and I always made my mind that I want to be the best house wife as that what I dream since college days. Nothing work out when you’re with a narcissist, My narc Ex still went ahead by threatening to file a divorce and take custody of our children because I caught him severally cheating with different lady and even my friend I also knew a lot of illegal stuffs he does and how addicted he’s to alcohol. I had no choice , friend told me about this Private Investigator which is also American Spy Guy he’s expert in tapping phone and web without leaving a trace, he got into my Husband phone and drives. I found Dirty proofs, real dirty things. All deleted Messages, chats, Videos, Call history from 12years back where unveiled to me. This proofs where helpful cos he worked my papers for me and now I can stay with my child and have a good job. Don’t let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more get in touch with https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550815556783&mibextid=LQQJ4d
My older sister is immune to our narcissistic mother. We both are each other’s strength and encouragers.