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❤
Always the greatest advice! Thank you,Jonathon❤🫂
Glad you think so!
@@JonathonAslay yes I do👍
Do you think that if you come to a man with your feelings and concerns and they get defensive, it’s because he’s not that into you or do you think it’s because he lacks emotional maturity or could there be something else? ??
After I tried to explain this to him, that I need emotional connection too, deep talks, including having the hard conversations, he said: ‘Well maybe you should date a woman then.’ 🙁
Now he’s angry because I said I need someone who’s emotionally grown up enough to walk this path together with me.
And he said I have a victim mindset…? Because it goes well, untill I start to talk about a need I have, or want to discuss a problem.
Most women do NOT approach a conversation with men in the right way, so the man feels attacked and defensive and that she’s looking to change him. You’re not sharing details so it’s hard to tell if he’s closed down or if the approach is off.
@@michellecremers361 hmmm but he’s happy when you’re serving him right ? selfish ?
Yes
Hi Monika,
In response to your question, I think it’s all of the above. And it could also be the way you presented the problem. But regardless of how you presented the problem, if your guy feels attacked, he should then have the emotional maturity to calmly say to you that he feels attacked and blamed…or at the very least let you know that he feels you’re coming across as “attacking” from his perspective. I often think couples take each other for granted and forget to treat each other respectfully once they feel comfortable in the relationship!! People need to realize that a commitment or marriage license is a license to neglect, abuse or disrespect. Personally I think couples just set their minds on autopilot and forget that a relationship is a privilege and honor to cherish, not something to regard as furniture to just sit in and feel comfortable without needing any maintenance or work to continually nurture. There definitely needs to be more education on not just how to find a lifetime partner but to also keep a lifetime partner.
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Your photo on that thumbnail 😮😂 but your words are true, vomit their emotions 😢😂❤❤
Yes
That’s a self-limiting belief. Ideally, one to be gotten over since it’s anti-empathy. On this channel, it’s a trope. However, it’s not a reality. It reflects very personal & highly indidualized characterization of a specific behavior–the context of which we do not know. It’s repeated here as though it’s a fact, but I’ve never seen it. I never interpret emotions as vomiting–even when men do it or beat their chests.
You should do one on all the romance scams in a fake people have profiles and interests and stuff on Facebook dating and social media
Yes
@@JonathonAslay awesome THANK YOU
Yes romance scams and identity theft have become common.
Yes lots of scams on all dating sites. As soon as I ask” have you come across any scams on this site?” They are gone. Try that early on the chatting lol 😂 less waste of time.
And how they tend to eat it up
Feelings aren’t facts.
WHO ARE YOU – BEN SHAPIRO. THAT IS HIS SLOGAN. HE IS A SHORT NARCISSIST.
Feelings are expressions of emotions
As I’ve heard it said, emotions may not be facts but emotions are valid. It’s how we all choose to address one’s emotions is key. It’s getting down to peeling back the onions to discover where the source of the emotions are coming from. This is where healing and self love comes in because learning to understand and know yourself well is key to having the ability to know and understand others.
🍎 HEALTHY FOOD FOR THOUGHT AS USUAL…MAKES SENSE THAT OUR FEELINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS TRUTH…🤔
My pleasure
Give a Healthy man a 15 sekunds sincere hug in the motning before work. He will go to War for you if he love’s you.
My ex would pat me on the fkin back 😅
Amen 🙏
OK, but many women do the same & more. (I work w many women veterans. They birth & raise children as well–sometimes single-handedly.)
To your point, both women and men need appreciation. A woman being a housewife and mother full-time is just as important as a husband working a full-time job. Appreciation goes a long way to motivate both women and men to nurture relationships.
Key word “healthy”
Love is blind, I already watched it
Me too. I watched all the Love is Blind shows:
Love is Blind…
in Mexico, in UK, in Sweden, in Japan
They’re all fascinating and interesting to watch. 😊 I also like all the matchmaking shows too: Indian Matchmaking, Jewish Matchmaking, The Millionaire Matchmaker
Ditto, the same
11 11 spiritual
Yes
What does “holding space” mean? It’s an oxymoron. We don’t have a dictionary of colloquialisms–& I’m American born. Is this a West Coast concept? Does anyone care to explain the odd phrases bandied about on this channel?
Holding space simply means giving someone the space to be who they are to feel the way they feel, and moving towards them with open arms & empathy without judgement. It’s much easier said than done. But when you love & care for someone and you’re in a mutual healthy relationship, there’s more motivation to do that but hopefully without sacrificing your own truth. Sometimes for a moment, people just need comfort and a big hug, just allowing them to be human without any judgment. There’s a time and place for serious discussions but sometimes people just need that “space” to be human. And being “attuned” with someone is paying attention to their feelings and caring enough to hold space for them at that moment to show that you care while setting aside your own personal needs for that moment. That’s the difference between good friends and casual acquaintances.
@JRLM-e8m TY Why not empathize if someone is going through something? Isn’t that better? Or is that what you’re saying?
Yes. Holding space for someone is showing empathy.
@@JRLM-e8m TY So why is that abstract phrase used?
@@mariad1151 if you read Non Violent Communication book recommended by Jonathon, you’ll know what holding space and being truly empathetic means. It’s completely different than what we know and we were taught! It’s an eye opening process! Highly recommend!!
I really like you emphasizing and explaining the importance of being attuned to your partner. Awesome content as always! 💛
I deeply appreciate you and your video’s, I like them every time and am thankful to hear such significant, genuine, aware, intelligent and practical advice, delivered with wonderful finesse and respect. You are the MAN that delivers!
Wow, thank you
🌷Mr.J.A. Your terrific- thank you 🙂
You are very welcome
I’m reading the book: The 5 love languages, it’s FANTASTIC!!!
Theres a lot of talk on social media about women being manipulative. I dont really understand what this means. What’s the difference between manipulation and a request to get your needs met?
The motives behind the ask…
Requesting to get your needs met is the preferred direct way of dealing with your significant other. Manipulation is using deceptive measures (lying, cheating, playing games, gaslighting, etc.) in effort to control someone. Requesting is coming from a place of honesty versus dishonesty with manipulation.
Thank you@@JRLM-e8m
@JonathonAslay Thank you
Manipulation happens when we want the others to guess what we need and want without us asking directly about it. I think we do this all the time, men or women. To think about what your intention of saying what you want to say and doing what you do is a great way to stay in the present moment and say and do what you really mean.
My boyfriend definitely not attuned to my emotions. I believe he’s avoidant and has Asperger’s syndrome ☹
That must be hard
I met a great guy recently. We went out three times and it was so nice, he has so many qualities but he really came across as someone who’s short of time. Every date was timed and difficult to schedule. Now he wants to text constantly in substitution to meeting in person because of work and other commitments, so early in the game. I had to cut him off from texting, to avoid building a fake intimacy through text. He lives 25 min away. So sad a man will star something in motion that he isn’t able or willing to sustain. He’s never going to be able to establish a relationship with a woman if he cannot make the time. Guys, make time for your love life!
If you sincerely like the guy, then it may be worth being transparent with him and tactfully let him know that you feel like another event on his busy calendar and discuss possible solutions that work for both of you. He may be totally clueless about his workaholic nature.