Narcissist or just in survival mode?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you. This is so helpful!!
Being married to King Narcissist I played that mind war game with myself for years. ❤
So sorry you went through that I hope you have peace and are free now.🤗🤗Virtual hugs to you.🤗🤗💕
I am with narcissist 101. I stay away.
Extremely validating as always xx
I agree Dr Ramani says it like it is no sugar coating ❤
I prayed for guidance, wondering why I kept ending up hurt. Then I read Mind Decoding by Keezano, and everything clicked. The book talks about valuing yourself, and understanding love through faith. I applied its lessons, started moving differently, and not long after, I met my husband. It’s amazing how much this book changed my life🙏❤
l totally agree
Yes CT
Sure you did 😂 AI books are just top notch 👌 😂😂😂
All the blame weighed me down so much physically. My partner even noticed my extreme weight loss. Lost most of my friends and all while she kept her best guy friend. The good ole do as I want not as I do
I lost a lot of weight as well over the years of the abuse and she was disgusted that “I even developed an eating disorder”. In the end I only managed to cook and do some minor chores after work because I wasn’t able to stand and walk for long, not even to think straight. She told me only cooking is not much of a help because she enjoys cooking as well (which is a lie, she always expected me to do it and was annoyed when I asked her to cook when I was totally exhausted) and that I’d have to achieve more when I want to keep her even though I told her repeatedly that I am physically not capable anymore to do more even though I wanted to. When I said I need to recover she said “yes of course, take care of yourself” in the direct moment but the next moment she raged at me again. I was never able to set any boundaries to her yelling, raging and self harm during conflicts because she never saw anything wrong on her behalf. When my health finally set boundaries that I can’t keep up with her demands she discarded me like I was trash. I was never enough for her, she blamed me for everything and took the slightest criticism as a personal attack. She even yelled at my parents and bullied my friends and justified it with standing up for me and refused to apologize for anything. It’s been four months since the discard, I think she is already with someone else (she was triangulating and talking a lit to another guy when we weren’t in the same room, bought condoms when we were still together and I had a vasectomy two years ago…) and yet the trauma bond is so strong that I still want her back although I now that would be total self destruction. We still have to exchange stuff from each other and clear up finances and she still manages to make me think I am the one who is to blame for everything when we are in contact. She acts all lovely on the phone but when we meet in person she is full of anger and contempt. I am still not sure if she is narcissistic or borderline (due to all the crying and beating herself until she is bruised)… man I loved this woman so much and gave up myself for her I still can’t believe what happened since we got together. Everything was so perfect in the first year and then it slowly spiraled downwards to total chaos but hope was what kept me believing we could get back to where we started. It will take a long time for me to recover from that, if ever. All the wounds I have were not inflicted by enemies but by the ones I loved the most, and that is the hardest thing to realize during healing.
I had been there so many times: I found myself thinking that I was just as bad as the narcissistic person! Narcissistic people are good at provoking,, pushing buttons and playing their power trips. I am (for the most part), a ‘turn the other cheek” kind of person. There were times when I felt ‘backed into a corner” by narcissistic people to the point where I got tired of being, Sweet Melody. So I pushed back and then I would beat myself up afterwards. I would chastise myself thinking, “Why did I let that person get to me? I’m suppose to be more mature than that!” The thing is though, when you practice ‘turning the other cheek”, you sometimes run out of cheeks to turn and one can only take so much BS, right? This is why I now practice ‘no contact” for the most part, because when I am around negative people, they can sometimes bring out the negativity in me, and I would much rather be a nice person! 😍
Exactly how I feel Melody..it’s so exhausting 😢
Ugh. After realizing my spouse will never change, and deciding to seek a divorce, this goes through my mind many times a day. Dealing with their bullshit is bad enough. Now I have to deal with my own.
3% of the population is still 9 million people in the United States, and 240 million worldwide.
Yes and some people don’t know any which means some of us are surrounded by them
No. I spent years in logic. I don’t lie or misrepresent. I don’t abuse. I never threatened him or anyone else. I keep my word and all promises 100%. I was faithful and honest and safe. I’m not the one passing STDS around through deception. I have no sadism. It’s NOT me.
After finding out that I was raised by narcissistic parents, I started acting like them after I went no contact. The more I denied it, the worse I got. After enough times of hearing that I’ve been this awful person, I finally realized what I was doing and found a way to break the cycle. I had to admit that I was acting like a narcissist in order to learn to not be that way
Those narcissistic fleas! It’s such a dark place to be! In a way I can feel sorry for the narcissist. Our lives are such a short journey here. 😢
@SherryTomlinson-r2y I feel sorry for them too. It’s a shame I have to walk away to save myself. But that was what they caused and they will have to live with it. Staying hurts everyone involved after a certain point
Been there, thought I was standing up for myself. I had to stop due to ending up in the hospital with a serious health problem, then fell into depression… still digging out. Learning to let go of so much.
If you are too impressionable in a narcissistic relationship you are caught in a belief system that moving out of does not need in any way to be based on self-criticism.
Thank you dr ramani for explaining this so well what i am thinking and have been feeling
I think for years I’ve realized I just need my own space, but that is not what has happened. My relationship with my mother was transactional, competitive, shaming. She did not provide a protective environment for me an never offered any help. I had to learn things on my own. My husband, although he has similar beliefs, needs so much attention, is very controlling, is oppositional/argumentative, quick to anger, jealous. Although at times he can be charming and supportive that can change suddenly and contemptuous. Living in these environments has made me quick to express my truth/feelings and self protective. Radical acceptance has helped me to be less reactive. I no longer expect normal or get so hurt.
Finding what they hide (Truths) is always a real eye opener! It proves to yourself that you are not crazy! And sometimes the proof is necessary to show other people that the slandering was untrue.
Absolutely. I told our marriage counselor that the things I did IN MY REACTIVE ABUSE moments I was not proud of admitting to. The difference is my Diagnosed Narcissist Ex Husband did no admission. No accountability. He distorted the facts and made false accusations and then raged at me on the drive home. Scared Ild leap out of the car and by the time I walked all the way home, he was telling my children that the marriage counselor agrees something is wrong with me. I have emotional issues. Completely the opposite was true. The Marriage Counselor, The Womens Resource and Crises Center, The Christian Police Officer who regularly came to the house all told me NO CHANGE WILL HAPPEN TELL CHANGE IS MADE. I filled a restraining order to force him into counseling, he filed devorce and came after me with a vengence. Using the children against me.
5:01 SPOT ON DOC RAMANI 🥲🙌🏾
I can’t imagine how much time and life you gave people by freeing them with this information, Dr. Ramani. I really think your channel changed the world. It changed my life for sure. I’ve followed you for years and have seen many experts in this space, but your work has always been consistently good and accurate and compassionate to survivors. Your work is survivor-first, which is why I really appreciate what you do. Thank you for being you, Dr. Ramani.