Narcissist? Or Just Posting?
People throw the word “narcissist” around every time someone posts a selfie or shares a win online—but that isn’t what narcissism actually is. Social media can highlight insecurity, joy, pride, or simply a moment someone wants to share. In this video, we pull apart the difference between real narcissistic patterns and everyday posting. Understanding that distinction matters far more than most people realize.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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When you see these repeated, endless patterns of people online constantly talking about how they’re a victim… and they’re seeking sympathy and attention… or even money from people. They’re likely not true victims, and instead they may be covert narcissists. Real victims have emotional boundaries, or want boundaries. We want peace. We don’t go around exaggerating our victimhood.
I don’t think it’s cut and dry. Some victims are posting to help other victims. Some are trying to warn family, friends, and the public about a sex predator without getting sued. I know multiple autistic women who are now special interest experts in domestic abuse, cluster b, and sex predators. So obviously they post a lot of information as they deep dive. Any of these “tips” about determining who is the narcissist or victim, entirely depends on what is factually TRUE. If you address a victim with questions, they will happily hand you hard evidence to prove what happened. If you ask a perpetrator? They will use WORDS to try to convince you, guilt, sympathy, or they may even rage or threaten. Your question will be met with a reaction of gratitude that you want evidence, OR “how dare you ask, you KNOW me, where is your LOYALTY?” See the difference?
Example: the Epstein victims. Many of them are quite focused on continuing to speak about their experiences, their victimhood, education on grooming, and how common this is in society. They haven’t quietly “moved on” because society isn’t holding perpetrators accountable or doing anything to prevent mass trauma to others. The perpetrators are still out there, finding new victims. Reporting is dangerous to victims, hopefully we all see reality now. Less than .02% of perpetrators who are reported ever face consequences. Less than .02% with evidence.
It’s creepy how they’ll even steal the true stories from their victims of their trauma and say it happened to them 😳😳😳
@gamelion3657 Sometimes it is cut and dry. Other times it isn’t.
I don’t think this is necessarily true. Broad generalizations aren’t helpful to anyone. Sometimes people just need to feel heard.
words being misused seems to be the root of almost every evil we as humanity suffer
I often wish we didn’t have them.
Living with the “madness” of a narcissist is the worst part of patience. I am not just posting, I unfortunately have no economic choice but to live with it and deal with it! I started searching for help with dealing with anger, frustration, depression and hopelessness. I am going deaf from the screaming, my nerves are tattered and I have no choice but to live with insanity and try to make the best with what I can do. It has transformed me into a person I never learned. So, yes.. it’s the real for me. Thank you for asking.❤️🙏
I’ve not posted anything of my personal tyranny other than politics! The person I am speaking about was a problem child 5-6 yrs. old. He is 62 years old today. His family shuffled him into the system in the 60s, they said its ADHD. I wish I could explain it better but it’s one big circus dealing with it.
True. Why do many narcissists claim all their exes are crazy?
the narc drove them crazy, & wants to discredit them so no one believes their account of the narc’s abuse
Because narcissistic behavior is intentionally crazy making.
Because if the exes aren’t crazy, then how do they explain all the fighting and sadness and misery all their relationships turn into? They’d need to be honest about themselves to explain it. But if all the exes are crazy, then they don’t have to pose that question that they’re too scared to answer honestly.
Because narcissists have to discredit those they perceive as doing them wrong, & they never take responsibility for things they’ve done.
It’s called blame shifting. Narcissists suck people dry of their good traits, and transfuse their dishonest freakish behavior onto/into an innocent person, who doesn’t understand what the hell is going on.
That would bake anyone’s noodle. And it’s all for supply and you meant nothing to them! Next…
“Look at me!” lol If anyone wants to know what it was like being married to a narcissist, a dark triad, feel free to ask me 😅😢❤
I know lol its what fed my fear to even post to social media. Because ive been conditioned to feel ‘narcissistic ‘ for posting. I dont know how often to post , I feel anxiety of being judged when I do post so I dont .
Very important distinction, thank you.
It’s not WHAT they do, it’s HOW they do it
It’s WHY they did it.
Oh, they do it anyway. For victims it’s important to realize what’s going on and how they can escape from this.
@HoneyBeesBand I think why doesn’t matter to a victim. They do it anyway. … Run as fast and far from it as possible. Sometimes asking WHY? keeps a person in a labyrinth, without any answer, or exit.
Yes I worry more about people who judge rather than posting.
12:37 thankyou for addressing the inherent jealousy in narcissism. the antagonism comes from their belief that they can’t have what other people have and that other people somehow don’t deserve to have more than them. it’s also hard to argue with them because they can’t see anything past their perspective. i’ve stopped posting because of people accusing me of being a narcissist when i’m just intending to share something positive in my life. it’s delusional on their end but unfortunately people who don’t know any better usually jump on their bandwagon and agree with all the negative things they have to say about other people. i’ve found my peace investing less time on social media and more on being present as much as i can.
Thank you for this. I also believe the term has been over used, and that diminishes the actual diagnosis. Or rather, diminishes the understanding of the very real harm and suffering that victims suffer.
Ma’am, you are goddess for me. Your wisdom healed me. For 35 years I suffered narcissist abuse of my father and brother. For 7 years a boss and past 2.9 years again another boss. I almost lost myself. I am like magnet for narcissist.
Me too. I think the Narcissists pick up on our vibe. We are Easy Targets for them. We are people pleasers..good guys….kind and friendly…..people like us…..and they do not like that. They are jealous of our good nature…..our easy spirit…..we make lemonade out lemons….and they CAN”T. They are attracted to us to bring us down….step on us…take our “light” away…..in other words…..they want us to be like them. Miserable. They do not like themselves and cannot stand that we do like ourself. I sleep very well at night. they can’t. I make happiness out of nothing…..I am happy on my deck with an iced tea and good book. It drives them crazy. So they whittle away at our sense of well being and dignity. IF they are unhappy…..it has to be directed at us. I can be reading a book and happy….it has to be taken away. Staring a fight…..making rude comments so I get annoyed…and then it escalates into an argument and then THEY are happy. They got what they wanted. I now just ignore them. I say “uh-huh” whatever. Go away. Go fight with yourself. You have to learn that their reaction is NOTHING like ours to things. They CANNOT feel our pain or feelings….It is like an elephant trying to explain its life to a mouse. (Impossible) I feel sorry for them. Trapped in their own body. I attract them too. Always have. In Love….Work….friendships….people at church….they ALL took advantage and I let them. I let them all go and that is all you can do. I am sorry you had to endure all those years of HELL. And it is HELL. Just know that they were SO JEALOUS of you……they did all those things to you. You are special…., kind and loving and they will never know that feeling at all. I wish you all the best….keep your chin up and carry on. Follow this channel and be part of this community. We support each other here. Happy New Year and sending hugs as well.
My Ex posted a vacation picture on Facebook and wrote: “Anyone who doesn’t like this picture is not my friend”. She wasn’t joking
Very helpful explanation and makes perfect sense. Context and intention always matters to draw the line. The constant need to throw labels, judge, blame, put down and hurt others is a huge red flag. Awareness, silence and respect are essential for healthy relationships with others and with oneself. Thank you, Dr Ramani 💯
Vulnerable narcissists are prone to online vitriol driven by ressentiment
envying and looking down on the salvation of the marginalized and even war victims
They are a repulsive breed of people.
Thank you, Doctor Ramani for everything you have said here. God bless you.
I always say … social media is how you curate it!! You don’t have to look at post that bothers you … just mask those people that post too much abs if you will keep them around in your life ! Boundaries
Appreciate the video and insights. Unfortunately, I’ve been harmed so many times that I tend to err on the safe side.
I think that it is common for humans to want be seen from time to time. It’s important to come to some internal understanding of that and that it is okay to want to be seen. Especially if you come from narcissistic abuse and have been inculcated to be small. I love how she puts it at the end. I think that it is great to celebrate your stuff and share it. Good for them! If I don’t feel like looking at other peoples things at the moment because of my mood or whatever, I simply don’t. But THAT is a ME thing.
DoctorRamani starting out the New Year keepin’ it real, as always! ❤
I have a few very lovely friends who post lots of pictures of their lives whether it is their children their pets their grandchildren their garden their sunset, whatever it is who are just wonderful people who for whatever reason are lonely or don’t see people much in their daily lives.
Social media is an outlet for them and I see nothing wrong with that.
One of my friends unexpectedly lost her husband of 40 years last year and she posts her dogs, her new house her fence whatever is in her life and I’m so glad that she does that because I think that’s a healthy thing for her to do.