Narcissistic in-laws: when YOU are married to the GOLDEN CHILD
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do!
The golden child was spoiled in childhood. Many golden children turn into narcissists. I was the golden child until I was around 12/13 and then I became the scapegoat, once I moved in with my narcissistic father. Maybe that saved me from becoming a narcissist myself – who knows? But golden children can be very difficult to deal with. Many of them are perfectionists and obsessive compulsive.
Thank you for talking about the possible narcissism of the golden child, and not just the narcissistic abuse meted out to the spouse of a golden child.
It’s hard to say. I think it depends on the personality type. Some people are predisposed. My scapegoated sister was the one who became the narcissist.
golden child-covert religious narc sil
toxic bully antagonist mil
Yep my ex was a golden child narcissist. Mother in Law and Step mother in Law was narcissist too. Got the abuse from all sides. Thank you NarcSurvivor for mentioning this. Stay strong. You are not alone. 💕💪I pray for God heals you completely from your recent heart attack in Jesus name I pray.🙏
Geez Dr. Ramani, you hit the nail on the head again. Thank you! My in-laws viewed my wife, the only child and golden child (Scapegoat when needed too), as a baby making machine. Her mom wanted her to be a single mom, dependent on her mom (the Narcissistic leader) and just produce grandchildren for her.
Her mom even used words to beat around the bush from saying this directly.
Yes!!! It’s like they want them to fail and need to move home with mommy!!!!
Oh my gosh, did you ever nail this one. My ex would never take up for me against his narcissistic parents. He didn’t see why any snarky remark his mom made about me (I was beneath them) should bother me. I finally got kicked to the curb 27 years in. Best thing my ex ever did. I’ve been healing for almost 10 years now, and I finally feel like I am regaining my bearings.
One of the biggest red flag and most selfish and weirdest thing she told me, was that “all the holidays belong to her mother”. I responded, “WHAT? SMH, I have parents too. We have to compromise and share the holidays”.
You’ll never have a good life with The “Golden Child” unless they cut the proverbial umbilical cord that’s attached to the narcissist.
Or their narcissistic friends.
My goodness: that was my former fiancé’s mother. I am so thankful that relationship went south.
Sometimes the golden child joins the parents and talks about the spouse with them.
💯 facts
🎯
Yes
Very helpful for my healing process! My Ex was not only the golden child from 4 kids, but also a covert N himself! He was from the type that “didn’t get it” as I tried to make clear that the inlaws broak all boundaries and could walk in the house whenever they wanted and use him every time! His younger brother was the scapegoat and could get away from the whole toxicity and admitted that the only way possible to live a healthy life was to move to another country with wife and kids. Once again dear Dr.R. your insights are excellent!👏🏼✨️
The overvaluation of sons is spot on, Dr. Ramani. And when the overvalued son is an *only* child of parents who have made that child the center of their world, the stakes are even higher. I know of a situation like this. The son tried to put physical distance between him and his wealthy parents by moving 100 miles away, but 5 years later, the parents moved within a couple of miles of him. They also control him with money. The son has a live-in girlfriend. I feel sorry for both of them. They will never have any peace until the parents are dead and gone. ~ Ladies, I’m telling you….if you find yourself dating a man where these dynamics are present, run for the hills!
I finally said enough when my ex-husband, whilst pushing his fingers in my face, demanded I took the entire blame for the stress of our marriage. Absolving himself and his family
I believe my husband is the golden child and I’ve been dealing with issues with my mother-in-law over the last few years. We went on a family trip and that’s when things unravelled. She said some mean things out of the ear shot of my husband and then she said she didn’t mean it that way, and he bought into her manipulations. My husband then saw some further passive aggressive actions from her that’s when he started to notice her behavior. However, my husband and I are implementing boundaries which has been very difficult because of course she doesn’t want to follow boundaries. I went and sat down with her at a counseling session and went over boundaries with her with the counselor so we’ll see how it goes. The situation is still very much a challenge and it’s causing conflict in my marriage. My husband is seeing her covert narcissism but also says he won’t cut all contact with his mom. We are low-contact at this point.
I radically accepted that I’m not good enough for some in-laws. It’s not my problem to fix their stuff. I just move along.
And now I get it! I was struggling with double abuse and manipulation because they defended each other and justified every unhealthy behavior because he was used to being treated like a prince, but was not loved from his mother! To keep this dynamic going on he had to always accept what she wanted and allowed her invasive entitlement at our home.😨 And I was double gaslightet!!
Lord have Mercy I am so finished.
100%! Accurate! Joining that family was like walking into a coven of vampires. 🧛 My ex narc MIL went so far as to get involved with my ex’s affair partner and groomed and promoted her to current love, while the family disrespected, devalued and discarded me (12 years of marriage). I had no idea. It was the best thing they ever could’ve done for me because i’ve been free of that psychotic family for a few years now and the transformation of my mental and physical health is dramatically better.
Also keep in mind that golden child could be playing clueless when they actually know exactly what’s happening
Wow…feels like she’s telling my story. I always thought I should have fought harder; but after the math, I realized it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. No matter what or how much you do, you will not satisfy them. There’s always somethings pops up in their head just to hate us.
Dr.Ramani Many Thanks!!
My ex-wife not only attacked our son’s wife, but also his wife’s parents. He finally cut his mother off for good, years ago.
No contact.
Best thing he ever did for himself and his wife. He also finally figured out and understood why I was a mostly absent father during his childhood. His mother was/is a monster – a destroyer of any and all relationships our son had with others, especially, what had been a beautiful father/son relationship.