Does it really matter if someone is narcissistic or is just selfish? What matters most is how you feel when you’re with them. In this video, we’ll explore why focusing on your experience – rather than the label—can help you make sense of difficult relationships. If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to figure someone out, this is the perspective you need.
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The day and age that we are in – it’s just so obvious that being overly trusting will get you caught up!! But a lot of people don’t know just what is actually happening out here.
I agree. If you’re naive, you’re an easy target.
Whether they’re a narcissist or not is not always important. The most important questions you need to ask yourself are how do you feel in this situation? Are you safe? Or are you in danger? Can you talk to this person? Are they compassionate, understanding? Is your life at risk? Your career, health, finances? These are the important questions, whether they’re a narcissist or not.
Right, it doesn’t matter whether someone is a narc or not; if they’re disrespectful or mistreating you, it shouldn’t be tolerated by any means. However, if they are, it’s a clear sign they are narcs.
When they’re a parent it’s sometimes impossible to know what you can share with them and what you can’t.
Christine Albright
THANK YOU 🌹…
I found dr Ramani’s help in digging deep and figuring out why I was left so confused and devalued.
I did not realize how toxic the paradox’s were
Never stop talking about this Dr Ramani. A person’s ‘Intention’ to decieve can’t be underestimated.
I agree 👍 but please take at least 4 vacations a year 😂 she deserves a break 🎉
@ktbiwk Yes, real vacations 🙌🏼
Ah! Yes. The intention to deceive… that is THE WORST!
I have diagnosed ADHD after being raised by neglectful narcissists. I can tell you from experience that it is nothing like narcissism
Me too. I am very conscientious with other people until pushed by their cruel treatment. Then i will remove them. I don’t see people as supply because i do everything on my own due to severe abuse and neglect. I cannot put up drawers due to my severe ADHD making instructions look like another language so i order prebuilt and i cannot drive due to it. I think some of our ADHD is worsened by CPTSD (while that is diagnosed or not).
Journaling via writing and recording are incredible self assurance of reality. Because narcissists and psychopaths target their own children and the people they have “titles and power over” … along with cultures and societies defending and elevating those “titles and high positions” … often times, the survivors have to seek self assurance alone. It is always horrific how no one believe the survivors, while cultures and societies often protect, elevate, and kiss up to the narcissists and psychopaths. It is what it is.
Yes! I’m on a mission now to try and help other women not have to do this all alone ❤❤❤
If it wasnt for you, Dr. Ramani, I would still be hurt by my dad, and I would still be making excuses for his behaviour and allow him to continue to manipulate, invalidate, lie, disrespect and keep me an emotional wreck because for 55 years, I thought he didnt really mean what he was saying or doing, because he was my… DAD…The single biggest help was when you told me to listen to what I see, not what I hear. That is when I saw the truth and realized he really was doing all this intentionally to hurt me and everyone around
❤❤
Good video. Thanks! Whether it is narcissism or not is less important than its effect on the people being affected. There is a controlling and abusive aspect to narcissism that in my experience is just not present in other personality styles (except for other dark triad behaviors). And assholes are also no fun to be around.
Trust your gut. If someone makes you uncomfortable, that’s a warning sign. You can’t fix a narc. And you can’t fix other toxic people either.
Thank you Dr. This video was just in time. As I officially happily let go of a narcissist of 6 years and 3 very young children with. I love me more. 🎉 I choose to focus on my healing journey.
You’ve been so helpful for helping me recognize damaging behavior from my family (& strangers) to set boundaries, and for improving my own behavior. Thank you, Dr. Romani 🙂
The person with narcissistic personality traits in my life that bullied, emotionally abused, and belittled me for decades has said on some occasions that she has “ADHD.” This did not sound right to me at all. Yes, she can seem scattered and I agree that there could be overlap. But she is also very grandiose, not empathetic to others, an energy vampire, and entitled. She is a master manipulator, and she can’t function unless she gets what she wants. I have felt extremely uncomfortable around this person – and I never felt this same way about anyone else like this in my life, like I do with her. The disturbing thing is that this person has a doctorate in social work, so people listen to her and rally around her. She always has to “one-up” everyone.
Ugh! I feel for you when you are dealing with someone in the mental health profession. It makes me sad to hear this as a psychologist but I know that it is very real❤
I even knew a phycologist who now I think might be a narcissist
Never knew this until my 70’s!!! That’s what happened to me for my whole life and was told it was my fault. A covert narcissist and it was so damaging. I’m healing now, crazy.
Same here. Healing now.. trying.. and it’s the biggest challenge!! Keep on working to find what FINALLY brings you joy and peace. It’s been a big challenge for me.
When I was young I expected life to get better as an adult. It only gets worse. More people today more than ever are shameless, rude, obnoxious, selfish, arrogant the list goes on. I really respect the ones who make it past their 70’s because you have be tough mentally and physically to put up with these type of people.
Spot on. All that matters is our experience, and if we don’t like interactions with some people, it doesn’t matter what the diadnosis is, we should act accordingly. As simple as that. Thank you dr Ramani ❤️
Yes.
My ex is neurodivergent and a narcissist. And you’re right. It doesn’t matter. They are an unsafe person for me and my kids. Period. Now if only the court system would let us have our freedom from this person. I pray for that daily.
SO true Dr. Ramani .. as someone who has also been studying this for decades. I have seen the full arc as well .. from almost no awareness to now calling everyone and everything that has a couple of narcissistic tendencies “a narcissist”. Both are dangerous extremes. The point isn’t ultimately the labelling; it’s to keep people safe from dangerous and unhealthy people and situations. To be able to recognize when you are being manipulated into participating in situations that are not in your best interest and to have the education about how to get out of these situations. That’s it. To allow healthier spectrum to detach and lead happier lives. To regain agency. If another entity is working against your freedom of self-agency, it’s unhealthy .. no matter what it’s called but there are most likely elements of narcissism involved ..
Indeed.
From the fruits you shall know them. I am 71 and never, ever found the help (and trust me I tried) that I have found listening to this channel. You are the Guru of Narcissistic abuse and the comments say it all. Thank you again.
I’m also 71. Thanks to iPhones I found out 7 years ago that what I was experiencing had a name and the it was a personality disorder. Learning about myself and my reactions along with establishing boundaries has been a worthwhile journey……
73 here, and after a lifetime of trying to guide and support my younger sister, trying to help her see the consequences of her poor choices, the patterns of her life, she remained completely oblivious. She made me feel guilty for my life and shame for not doing enough for her. The last time we spoke, something seemed “off.” I came to you-tube. I looked up some of her behaviors. WOW! Covert narcissist with thrill seeking behavior jumped off the page! She checked ALL the boxes. I can’t beleive it took me over 50 years! Just knowing this has released me and I have forgiven myself for not “fixing” her. I am living in peace. She has her own life. I am not repsonsible for her. There! YES! 😊 Thank you so much!
I’m 70 and I’ve learned so much valuable insight from your videos.
These chats are the best medicine for my clarity and peace of mind. Thank you.
My ex-wife is a covert narcissist, which is why we’re divorced. When I finally solved this puzzle that perplexed me for so many years, I found it to be both uplifting and discouraging at the same time. Uplifting because I now had a better understanding of her behavior and this allowed me slow down and choose how to respond to her, rather just react out of reflex. It was discouraging because I realized that she was never going to change, and the person I thought she was when we first married, never actually existed. The person I married turned out to be an actress in a play and the show ended long ago. Once I practiced radical acceptance of this, it eventually became easier to let go and move forward in a positive direction. Ultimately, I’m thankful for the education I received but I wouldn’t wish the experience upon anyone else.
I think my boyfriend could be a covert narc.Can you tell me some signs please?!
Thank you soo much sister🥰last year I read keezano’s Your Life Your Game, this book truly changed my life..lt beautifully shows how connecting with your true self and building meaningful relationships can lead to spiritual growth and success in both your personal and professional life. A must-read for all🙏🏼
thank you for sharing