Sane Washing Narcissistic Behavior

Have you ever been told they’re not abusive — just “assertive,” “bold,” or “a big personality”? That’s sane washing: when narcissistic behavior gets repackaged as something normal, even admirable. Over time, this reframing doesn’t just protect the narcissist — it makes you question your own reality. In this video, we unpack how sane washing works and why recognizing it may be the most important step in protecting yourself.

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

VISIT MY WEBSITE

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @TootsiesThisNThat says:

    Thank you ❣️🦅

  • @pengguoyu4614 says:

    Narcissists are surrounded by enablers supporters and toxic positivity people

  • @StarRose-s9u says:

    it is insane how corporate lingo is soaked in narcissistic communication and behavior – once you see it, you can’t unsee it – it is everywhere, in marketing, ads and outdated oldfashioned PR as well

    • @kha0s616 says:

      THIS

    • @lisarigglebug7263 says:

      I heard someone say that, “We (as in us rabble) worship billionaires”. I am quite certain that “WE”, the vast majority of us, do NOT! We all understand their “success” is due to their NPD deceit, ruthlessness and brutality and by endless funding from their handlers. So much of social engineering goes into glorifying greed, when us “Useless Eaters” see with ease, through everything the disgusting useless eliters do. With a little discernment, it becomes easy to see how much of msm, hollywood, disney, etc. goes in to making the useless eliters appear to be like US. They are NOT LIKE US!

    • @tieppomushing says:

      Reminds me of the dialogue (joke intended) in Bugonia. Wonderful film

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      Watcha gonna do about it?

      💪🏻😃🤙

    • @cebruthius says:

      PR (Bernays) is another word for manipulation.

  • @lebasietsi3061 says:

    Yes, they’re trying to cover up certain people’s behavior. But eventually it will all come to light, because everything comes out sooner or later.

  • @magnus5687 says:

    I’m eternaly greatful to Dr.Ramani for dedicating her life to educate the world on narcissism. I know how important her teachings have been for me and my personal and family life, but I cant begin to fanthom how many other people her teachings have help. She’s literally a hero making this world a better place. Truly an inspiration of goodness in this cold world.

  • @kkryz says:

    Cruelty washing. Can create a massive cognitive dissonance.

  • @beejer119 says:

    They even normalized my SA when I was 15 by telling me “oh he’s just a big flirt” & that I take things too seriously😢 They know it happened but don’t want any responsibility in the aftermath

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      Watcha gonna do about it?

      💪🏻😃🤙

    • @beejer119 says:

      ​@kenanglemire8328Bc it’s a relative he’s been cut off completely to my family & we grey rock the enablers/family members that say I need to get over it. Bc of Dr Ramani I know what to expect & fully accept they will not change. This lady here…. She’s been a life changer for me❤

    • @jo2337 says:

      That is so wrong and awful. You deserved better. I hope that person is no longer here with us.

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      ​@jo2337Remain a Victim??

    • @beejer119 says:

      ​@kenanglemire8328hell no, I’m a survivor! Took back my power but we’re making sure he’s never around our girls

  • @katkat521 says:

    My mother sane washes herself. “That’s just how it is!” she proclaims. Yeah, right.

  • @Haldangi says:

    Countries including Australia, Indonesia, Malaysia, France, Spain, Denmark, Austria, Slovenia, Poland, and Norway have implemented age restrictions on social media.
    Considering that social media has become a hotbed that fuels a massive increase in narcissistic people, I believe this is a law that many other countries should adopt.
    As the recent Meta lawsuits have shown, social media is not only toxic to children, but regulating it is an absolutely essential policy for the sake of public health in our society.

    • @lisarigglebug7263 says:

      Oh Goody Goody! More totalitarian tyranny!
      You do realize that this platform here, is guilty of crimes against Humanity, for its censorship roles in Operation “C”, and is responsible for many millions of deaths and disabilities.
      Please…do tell…how do you “sane wash” YOURSELF?

    • @melissadeloach8503 says:

      I saw that too. I was so pleased about the recent Meta lawsuits.

  • @margana2020 says:

    The personal is political! Domestic abuse is not an individual problem, it is a societal and systemic problem and the creation and support of abusers is 100% the enablers and our society at large’s fault!

  • @jayasudha3631 says:

    “Less bad does not equal better” u r exactly🙏🙏🙏

  • @kimberleyhartley5969 says:

    True, Dr. Ramani. There ought to be a consensus for those who have been abused by narcissists to have support against this abuse that is real hurting.

  • @peace_oceans says:

    Thankyou for all your work on narcissism. Being at the receiving end of a narcissistic misogynist father for over 5 decades was crazy making and only through your talks have I been able to understand what was going on.

    He ended up alone. Be careful the narcs chosen target, everyone else was dead, I made sure he got the send off he deserved. Alone. No funeral. No flowers. No headstone. He deserved even less.

  • @lisarigglebug7263 says:

    2 phrases that have floored my inescapable NPD. The instant he starts the abuse, me, “I know exactly what you are doing, and I will not engage in it ” and leave. When he escalates the attacks…me, “Your opinion of me is irrelevant” and leave. His expression is stunned. He has no idea what to do or say. This has been helping me for the past year now, this and continuing my NPD education and reinforcements.

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      Like the Survivor comments 🙌

    • @Mind_Mantras says:

      If it is a family member be careful. If he hurts you or do you hurt him?
      That decides who is narcissist, if there is one.
      Because you can’t afflict pain or harm, enjoy it and call yourself non-narcissistic.
      If you are just escaping engagement in fights that is ok. But look that the other person does not have OCD OR pure O.

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      ​@Mind_MantrasWatcha gonna do about it?

      💪🏻😃🤙

      Victim or Survivor, you decide! 🙌

  • @StaceyJack-wh6oy says:

    Yep you cannot excuse bad behavior, no matter what.

  • @jeannedouglas9912 says:

    Thanks Dr. R for trying to educate the public on narcissistic abuse.

  • @kenanglemire8328 says:

    Where’s the Survivors on this thread?? 🎉❤🎉

    💪🏻😃🤙

  • @WillMowass says:

    ‘They’re just immature/selfish’ is the response I get. Calling out narcs instead gets me labeled negative or too eager to put someone down. I say no, I have a narc mother, married a narc, watched my kids and sisters become like them, am no contact, had to take therapy to make sure I was okay and bounce back enough to function. I know the signs. I’m careful to look for all of them. It’s too serious to throw around carelessly.

  • @terrykafka6631 says:

    Not only survived, but grown stronger and more discerning, so don’t need to normalize that which is abnormal. God loves ALL his creatures. ❤

  • @Hamzaara3 says:

    It’s honestly embarrassing how excited I used to get over the tiniest crumbs of affection. One mildly nice text from him could fix my whole mood, even though he’d spent the entire week treating me like a background character in his life. I would reread his messages over and over, searching for meaning that simply wasn’t there. I hate admitting how delusional I was. Then The Obedient Boy Protocol landed in my hands, and reading it felt less like “self-help” and more like downloading forbidden knowledge. The methods are dark, calculated, almost surgical in how they flip the dynamic. I stopped explaining myself. I stopped being predictable. I stopped acting grateful for the bare minimum. And the moment I changed my approach, he changed his behavior. The guy who used to take hours to answer suddenly freaked out if I didn’t respond within minutes. This book doesn’t teach love…it teaches leverage

  • >