Signs of trauma people often miss
Trauma doesn’t just disappear… Therapist and survivor Patrick Teahan breaks down the signs we often miss on the Dr. Ramani Network.
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
It starting to make soooooo much sense now…
This resonates. Thank for sharing this! ❤🙏
As a little girl, being the one who tended to the needs of my entire narcissistic family kept me safe from their violent attacks. I have a calming effect on people & will gladly focus on the individual without thinking of myself.
I’ve watched as the people around me grow and thrive under my nurturing/care. I don’t throw around clichés & am an active listener. Not one of them has ever shown me similar support. Just turned 45 and now live a hermit-like existence because I have not one person who doesn’t take me for granted and I don’t trust myself not to be “on” for them. It’s the most natural instinct for me because it’s who I was before the abuse even started.
I’ve always known the most important ingredient was family. I knew as a child that these people who touch me inappropriately, kidnap me, beat me and call me worthless could never love me back. I knew if I were to survive, it would require me creating my own family. No one can do well with not a single human there for even a kind word.
The family I chose is quite narcissistic themselves & I’m now disabled and have lost faith in humanity as well as my ability to actually survive this world.
I’m barely hanging on & my health is fading quickly. I’m just exhausted of being beaten up on, humiliated, and treated less than human. I need medical care I don’t have access to without leaning on the ones who abuse me. I pray to be taken from this world every single day.
Love Patrick Teahan, his videos helped me so much when I became fully awake. And, Dr Ramani, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your work. Your video on Firewall, Grey/Yellow Rocking, saved me when I had to deal with my toxic family at my mom’s memorial service and in the everyday life of existing with a covert personality type. Deep gratitude for you both.
No one wants attention for things that do not matter to them
🙏🏻🙏🏻
6th, 21 September 2025
This hit me like a thousand rocks!!
No one wants attention for things that do not matter to them
_studying menu_ “Waiter, bring me one of everything, please!”
And when someone seems constantly low in energy, and people say they got no motivation or drive blah blah blah- those behaviours are usually a trauma response. They are not lazy.
Semplicemente grazie, grazie, grazie. 👍🇮🇪
Usually, by the time you learn the person is a “covert narcissist”, you have already ‘dealt’ with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a ‘covert narcissist’ just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don’t that sound easy.
The better question is how do you STOP ‘dealing with’ a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The ‘best way’ to ‘deal with a covert narcissist’ is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them.
If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No “hi, how are you doing”, no “hi, I wish I had time to talk to you”, no “hi, it’s nice to see you” — just “hi, hope you’re doing well, I’ve got to run” or just “hi” and keep walking.
If at all possible, avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a ‘flying monkey’ can observe you or listen to you. ‘Flying monkeys’ are the narcissist’s ‘possessions’. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist ‘owns’ is considered the same as ‘dealing with’ or interacting with the narcissist. The more you ‘deal with’ a covert narcissist, the more you will have to ‘deal with’.
Do not ‘run’ from a covert narcissist unless you can ‘run’ totally away from them. When you ‘run’ from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you ‘run’.
Once you ‘learn’ the person is a ‘covert narcissist’, you have to ‘learn’ to either ‘covertly’ avoid the hell out of them or ‘overtly’ have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to ‘deal with’ them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever “dealt with” one and they’ll tell you it’s one of hardest things they’ve ever ‘dealt with’.
And if your gut is screaming that they’ve been cheating, lying, or still manipulating in the background — don’t second-guess your instincts. Get quiet proof. Send a discreet request to digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for confidential help catching a cheating narcissist.
Not quite
Not defending myself has backfired on me so many times in my life. All of this psychoanalysis has made me very distrustful of the mental health system. You are making things worse not better
No one wants attention for things that do not matter to them
I don’t believe in sanity land
You are not treating me like a human being