The Dark Side of Multigenerational Homes: Coping with Narcissistic Families
Multigenerational living might look great on Instagram, but if you’re dealing with a narcissistic family, it’s far from picture-perfect. Instead of harmony, you’re more likely to find yourself trapped in a toxic environment where manipulation and hostility rule. If this hits home, know that you’re not alone, and finding support outside the family is key to surviving this kind of situation.
#NarcissisticFamily #MultigenerationalLiving #ToxicFamilies #SurvivingNarcissism #MentalHealthSupport
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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As someone who grew up in and out of narcissistic multigenerational family homes I can certainly say that the times I was/have been out have been the healthiest times of my life
Same
Same! It’s like you can finally be your own person and have your home finally feel safe.
The only trips you will ever go on with narcissistic family members are guilt trips.
So TRUE!!
Good one!
Let me off here!😂
Hell yeah 😂
At least one family vacation a month.
Ive gotten used to being shut down, ignored, words twisted, glaring stares, disapproval, etc from people that don’t get it or understand. Theres a ton of darkness and pain living around toxicity. I wish much healing and path forward out of the mess.❤❤❤
❤️❤️❤️
Unless one see’s this from close proximity and live it , the media and utopian shrinks will make it look like heaven ! Hell no !
I really appreciate your videos. My siblings and I have collectively gone low contact with our parents because we are just OVER the narcissistic abuse. Because my siblings and I are on the same page about the low contact, it has been easier to set boundaries because we all have each other’s backs.
That’s awesome, that you and your siblings are on the same page, regarding your narcissistic parents. It seems there’s usually at least one sibling that takes the parents side
I heard one young umarried lady talk about one religious denomination family system. The elders would recommend when and if they would have children if she met someone. I couldn’t imagine someone else making such a major family decision.
I grew up in a multigenerational house with deeply unhealthy, narcissistic people. It was hell. When we first moved in after my mom’s divorce, I thought it was going to be great. It was a traumatizing experience for over a decade.
There’s so much to say but I’ll just cut to the chase. Go no contact with abusive people. No matter who They are. No one gets to abuse you for their own pleasure or because of their own difficulties. There is simply no excuse. I’ve been mistreated, I don’t mistreat other people. If an individual mistreats other people, they are not healthy enough for a relationship.
I went no contact with my abusive family. It was the hardest, and the best thing I ever did. It is been almost 15 years and I’m not sorry. And I was right to do it. They continue to be abusive to the people around them to this day.
Tell anyone who says that you should stay in relationships with abusive people to go for it themselves. But You aren’t going to put yourself through that.
❤❤❤ good decision
Sounds very similar to mine. Only I went NO CONTACT for 25 years. Went back. The remaining older folk had passed on. Siblings, cousins and new nephews and nieces.
After 3 years they all couldn’t hold the mask any longer and they started the same old 💩. They tried to convince me to move back nearby and I could immediately see the demon in them planning my destruction. I told them this.
These people are just evil and will NEVER change in this life. I went NO contact again with all of them except one sibling three years ago.
One thing I didn’t know,and have learned was the discard. As I studied their behavior the one thing I noticed was each of them would eventually do or say something so wrong that my self esteem forced me to leave. I had warned them if they did it again it would be permanent this time.
They got what they bargained for. Hell.
So do I.
Peace
They “get to” if they’ve stripped you of humanity, rights, and voice thru the criminal enterprise of covert stalking and harassment CRIMES nobody, not even complicit police will admit is going on. It’s the sh*t list from hell no one deserves nor can get themselves off of. The excuse is that someone at some time who didn’t like you knew you had suffered childhood trauma. This is the exuse they use as scaffolding to build lie upon lie on, in order to take your life down privately and quietly. It is a takedown program and the sh*t list from hell that spawned all sorts of themes in the entertainment industry, such as the Hunger Games, Survivor, etc., only it is very real, and very involuntary. It is a form of human trafficking that has become accepted because of the horrific lies told about targets like myself. I was once young and viable. I won’t even have the opportunity to have an unwed pregnancy, in order to be acceptable to the new misogynists who want the freedom to be OPEN about their hateful evil activities!
The fact is narcissists aren’t going away any time soon, but having mental screenings before becoming parents is a step in the right direction, to slow it down at least.
People lie. My narcissistic abusive parents adopted me. They were screened and passed. So there’s that.
@@Gemmarose9012I’m sorry that happened to you and to so many others. But I’m not talking about a casual interview and answering simple multiple choice questions. There should be blood work and x-rays of their brains whether they adopt or have their own.
I agree Dr. Ramani! I once worked for a counseling service where someone called in to ask for someone who specializes in narcissistic relationships. Because I really feel we don’t have many who fully understand the severity of continuing in a situation like that! Society has also stigmatized and tabooed therapy that you only go when something is wrong. But it’s needed also when things are going right! Because it’s also very healthy and needed to be validated sometimes that you are on the right track and doing well for yourself. And that may sometimes be not regularly seeing a therapist. And that’s ok too.
Yes, I often wonder if parent is going to outlive me. I practically, have no life, just stuck with obligation.
Yes…same
This is you only life, try to get free❤ It is not easy, I know.
I hear you, took care of my father,
My parents were rotten..makes me sad to think how cruel they were. My happiness came from leaving and learning about narcissists it wasn’t me it was them. Peace and love to you ❤️ all.
Peace and love to you to!
Nah… I am not staying with people who are emotionally beating me up.
I was wondering when would you talk about this. Multiple generations are forced to live together simply because economy went down bad. This situation scares me so much because it means people are forced to live together with their abusive parents longer. We had to tolerate abusive parents as children because we had no money of our own, but now our generation cannot even afford their freedom.
And when as an adult when you live with these parents because you cannot afford a place on your own, it means you cannot earn good money. Then the abuse worsens because these parents see you like a failure and they devalue you even worse. Especially if you cannot find a job or become unemployed these parents would scream everyday to their adult children’s face how worthless they are! Sure, because putting your children through an even worse depression you subjected to them their entire lives surely would help them get a better job faster!!!
In healthy families, life happens and people support each other but narcissistic parents would only blame their children for not being “perfect”. Because they think, if they were perfect, and did everything right, no matter what happens in the world the children would earn good money. So it is the children’s fault. Narcissistic parents dehumanise and objectify their children.
Dr. Ramani, I sincerely adore and love your compassion!❤
I had my narsistic mother living with me and I didn’t have a heart to kick her out of my house; I truly thought she would kill me before she dies. However, she left because she was extremely unhappy living with me. Sure enough 6 months later she decided that she is ready to come and live with me again; but I muster a courage and told her no! Of course, all hell broke loose and she went no contact with me to punish me. I’m enjoying no contact and will not ever let her back in my house! Thanks to you and my therapist. 🙏
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😂good for you!!❤❤❤
Bad therapists cannot learn from a client. They never understand what has been happening to you. They only blame you or give you unsolicited advice. 😖
I was stuck living with my narcissistic mother for 15 years (5 after college, 10 after my divorce) because of economic reasons. The last four years were hell. I finally left and went minimal contact in 2022. She passed away last year. Wish I had been able to move out at 18 and never gone back.
No contact is a healthy alternative to domestic violence.
Perfect summary
My dad has lived with his narcissistic mother his entire life, including to this day. Although he occasionally recognizes that her behavior is inappropriate, he generally goes along with her wishes. Then, he turns around and exhibits similar unhealthy behavior toward me, expecting me to accept it just as he did with his mom. Although I know that he and my mom also my grandma love me very much, (exhausted my whole life to be the golden child of course), being around my family is just pure suffering for me. I’m just so so so glad, I was able to move out and have a life far far away from them.
Ha!! I am so tired of hearing about how wonderful it is that people from other cultures/immigrants (fill in any nationality here) live together in multigenerational homes! Or how great it is that they have parents and grandparents move in so the daughter or daughter-in-law can “take care of them” in their old age! Oh my gosh! My own immigrant family was a total dumpster fire. And my mother was, the daughter who got stuck with caring for her incredibly narcissistic parents. The other daughters ran. It ruined her, ruined her marriage, and there was no mother left over for us kids. I could go on and on about this… But thank you for beginning to tackle this issue.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there’s no universal playbook for making them work. What’s effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I’ve come to understand that there’s always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now…Thanks.
You wont regret it