The Death of Straightforwardness in Narcissistic Relationships

You say what you mean. You show up. You live your words. So what happens when that straightforwardness collides with someone who doesn’t? In this video, we explore how honesty, integrity, and direct communication can slowly get eroded in a narcissistic relationship — and why the very traits that make you healthy can make you vulnerable.

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

VISIT MY WEBSITE

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @MomentswithMatilde says:

    thank you for your videos, I feel the world is slowly starting to understand narcissism and how common it is. it’s needed, cause they’re everywhere..

  • @DianeR-h7v says:

    Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do! ❤

  • @tammybrown7138 says:

    I got abandoned after 47 years of marriage because I stopped taking the bait. I called out gaslighting and spoke the truth.

    • @kenanglemire8328 says:

      Peace Be With You on your journey Tammy!
      I’m meeting with my Divorce attorney this morning to discuss my DISCARD from my Vulnerable Narci wife of 35yrs!
      Stay strong Tammy and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP OF SURVIVOR MOUNTAIN 🎉

    • @ND-or5so says:

      That’s what he used you for.

    • @JackieFerrell-f6o says:

      This sounds like me. I was abandoned for calling him out on lying, being dismissive, treating strangers better than me. Telling him to quit being manipulative, making jokes that were hurtful, shaming me, etc. What I didn’t know was he would use a horrible secret he had kept from me for over 40 years that he knew would hurt me severely. He got revenge. He punished me and tried to destroy me because as he said due to my character and strength. I’m still recovering.

    • @JackieFerrell-f6o says:

      ​@kenanglemire8328I really like your words of support.

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

      Yep , I also got kicked to the curb , homeless, turned on .. get this I was protecting a 5 year old child! Creepy narcissistic pedophile! 😡

  • @kenanglemire8328 says:

    A Narcissist is a Peacock, once you take away the beautiful tail feathers, they’re an ugly Chicken!

  • @kenanglemire8328 says:

    Rise from the ashes of this Hell like the Phoenix!
    Dr Ramani’s teachings WORK IF YOU WORK IT!
    I meet with my Divorce attorney in an hour to discuss my DISCARD from my Vulnerable Narci wife of 35yrs.
    I might be penniless, on chemo, heartbroken but I will be a survivor!

    SEE YOU AT THE TOP OF SURVIVOR MOUNTAIN 🎉

    • @panprcek1232 says:

      Good luck brother! You seem to have good fighting mindset 😊👍 Vulnerable narc are the worst type I think, maybe it is because it is my mother and whole family… It costed me much money but personal freedom, peace and true living are 100% worth it!
      You got this mate!!! ✊🏻✊🏻

    • @n9stradamas465 says:

      🙌🏼✊🏼🙏🏼

  • @ND-or5so says:

    Never clear. They make sure of that.

  • @KariAnneAKA-God says:

    I hold onto it every day. It is exhausting to deal with narcs. It takes a lot of my brain power, but I also started learning in my childhood how to put on that poker face. It always makes me feel like I am never fully seen.

  • @antoa5825 says:

    I now understand why I’ve always had such a hard time clocking narcissists. I’m very straightforward and have always gotten turned upside down trying to figure out what was happening in these relationships. Additionally, something Dr. Ramani only touched on, is that my personality made the narcs extra angry (manipulative, victimized, punitive), lashing out whenever I asked for clarity or honesty.

  • @shell587 says:

    Narcissists don’t understand honesty or straight forward people. It interferes with their plans. Run!

  • @lebasietsi3061 says:

    Honesty comes at a high price with these people. They’re always scheming and plotting behind your back, never to your face.

  • @oceannomad4236 says:

    Being authentic is who I am. I hated the years when I went-along-to-get-along because there was conflict between my values and actions. These days, living my life according to my values allows me to discard the BS and I’m so much happier. A big thanks also to Dr. R for helping me understand the narc won’t ever change.

    • @River_89 says:

      Exactly this. I was such an enabler. It was just easier and also I loved the idea of being my mom’s best friend when I became an adult. I “got along to get along”, dumping my own integrity and voice along the way. I’m embarrassed by the harm I caused during that time in my life but I’m so glad to see clearly now.

  • @malindarayallen says:

    Just recommended “It’s Not You” to a new friend who is going through the narcissistic full court press. She already feels less crazy. So grateful for the work that you do in helping others. You make the world safer for kind people. Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani.

    • @seasonsstarsstudios says:

      I bought a copy each for my friend and for myself since we had the same upbringing. It’s been vital in dealing with my father until I leave.

  • @Saraflowerk says:

    I was in my early 40s when I finally understood the breadcrumbing concept and the idealization & devaluation. It mimicked a lot of those dating scenarios I’ve had. It did not compute for years, because as you say, being straightforward means you’re confused when you’re dealing with a manipulative person.

  • @Jessecraft1954 says:

    When it comes to narcissists, do not listen to your heart. Listen to your brain.

    • @Cathy-r2o2z says:

      I disagree. That gut feeling is a big red flag. Feeling triggered? That’s actually a blessing, because it’s a warning sign that there’s danger. Listen to it first before you engage your brain

    • @Jessecraft1954 says:

      ​​@Cathy-r2o2zI didn’t say gut. I said heart. You have empathy in your heart and it isn’t easy to become free. Don’t let your heart draw you in. Yes, listen to your gut and your brain.

    • @svadhisthana8867 says:

      They were both wrong.

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

      Awe true, their emotional predators!

  • @DominiR-d3l says:

    Our Straightforwardness CLASHES with their Delusional Inner fantasy World

  • @panprcek1232 says:

    I can tell you one thing that finally helped me to detach from narc family and ex woman… I am that highly straightforward person and I got very sick but I still tried to help my family to heal and break generational family self… two DECADES… and after two decades of self neglect and neverending resets from narcs, I had very bad health problems and was fighting for my life, I was asking and begging them to just let me heal, not help, just to stop do damages for few weeks… and you know what? They all couldnt be bothered, my mother watching me crying in pain and begging and she still played her game, no matter what was happening…so I finally understood that these people have never enough, NEVER!!! And I made a decission I have a right to be alive and to not be in pain 24/7/365…

    So one thing to learn here is: narc have NO boundary and no maximal cap for their BS.. they goadly kill own offspring if it means their good feeling for the noon… and this realisation helped me amd my head to finally get it….

  • @Jessecraft1954 says:

    Who in the world can have a healthy relationship with anyone who receives joy, happiness, pleasure and a sense of power from mistreating others.

  • @sparkygump says:

    Anything you say or do can and will be used against you.

  • @sourgummiez says:

    One of the most frustrating things about narcissists for me personally is there complete delusion of the image that they have of themselves. They think that the empathy that they feel even though it’s like 5% of the capacity that the rest of us can feel, makes them an empath. They genuinely think that they are the type to show up, they don’t think that they do any of the destructive things that they do and they think that they are the best most willing to serve partner on the planet. It just doesn’t make any sense to me how they can be so delusional

  • @srcolema07 says:

    It is so true that when you are straightforward, you can’t see manipulative people because you can’t think like them. I had to start thinking like them to anticipate their next move. It’s like playing chess, you’re a beginner and they are a master in manipulation.

  • >