The HARDEST advice to give someone in a narcissistic relationship
Do you constantly feel let down by someone who says they’ll come through—but rarely does? In narcissistic relationships, disappointment isn’t the exception—it’s the pattern. This video explores how that repeated letdown shapes your trust, forces you to over-function, and leaves you doing everything yourself. If you’ve ever been called a control freak just for planning around someone’s unreliability, this is for you.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I agree with you Dr. Ramani and I relate to your experience completely, it is exhausting because we end up doing so much and asking for so little, sadly. Narcissistic relationships are an eternal disappointment and radical acceptance brings so much grieve, but it is crucial. Thank you for this very validating video and for sharing your experience❤❤❤
Thank you Beautiful Soul.🙌👑💖. You are so on point. Many blessings and healing.
I wish I could’ve known a lot sooner they narcissists will never change.
I have followed Dr Ramani for a long time……..her advice and support have saved thousands of people in narcissistic relationships but I have to say this was the cherry on the cake.Thanks a million from someone you will never meet…..you are a truly decent,good person.
🍒many 🍒
Thanks so much for your kind words! It means a lot to hear this!
I think i’ve become hyper independent from the past and narcs in my life. I have a hard time trusting others and I choose to do it myself so that I don’t have to trust anyone. I think sometimes people view me as arrogant and crazy at times.
I just don’t want the plans Ive made to fall through and then i’m at a waste or a failure. If i’ve done all that I could do and have done it properly and things still doesn’t work out, I may then be able to reconcile the previous days or weeks. I had gotten used to some people getting in the way to sabotage me masquerading as helping.
I referred to it as “having to wheel him around on a gurney”. He was not reliable. The upside of all of it was that I learned to do a lot of things myself. I stopped asking for help. Living without the guy is a lot cheaper and I am not constantly cleaning up after somebody else.
The sincere person’s reward for being reliable and trustworthy is a simple ‘thank you.’ When I respond, “You’re welcome,” I mean it.
Just moved back in w my Narcissist father. Thought I had healed, but radical acceptance is DAILY work.
I did the same, years ago, and it has destroyed me. If you are in a care provider position, it might not affect you the same way as when you were young. For me, who was needing refuge and a “safe” place to land after the most destructive relationship I’ve ever been in (narcissist with sadistic traits), it has been the crushing blow. Definitely take care of yourself! I wish you well.
@@AnnieB-v8j I also returned to my father’s home- it demolished me. How sick to say but he finished me off.
I heard that when children of narcs go back and live in to offer care giving they are at risk of dying before their parents. Get out and let a flying monkey or enabler do it.
Thank you, Doctor, for providing me with the best definition of a narcissistic relationship: “a cumulation of disappointments.” It aptly describes my husband’s and my relationship with our adult daughter. Recognizing that one is dealing with a narcissist provides for a reassessment of past doubts, discomforts, confusion, misunderstandings, and feelings of guilt, anger, rejection, and sadness. It brings clarity to how one sees her/himself in relation to the other – no longer responsible for all that never felt “right”. And it empowers the victim to end the abuse. We have.
My hraling started from the time I found out your videos. I am from Russia and it was not easy to understand English, but to learn more about my situation forsed me to learn also English…. And I can understand you…. Thank you very much….. I do believe I will be able to became healthy and happy again after years of being with narcissist.
I just moved my mother into assisted living after six years of chaotic hell with her living in my guesthouse. I wouldn’t have even realized what is wrong with her if it wasn’t for this channel. Thank you so much!!! I ham 54 and have been trying to figure out what’s wrong with her since I was a kid. :) I learned a ton through the experience, but I do not recommend getting your lesson this way(by living with your narc mom as an adult) I truly thought I could help heal and fix her and that was not the case. What did happen is I helped and healed myself-but I think there are other ways to do this without subjecting yourself to your childhood abusive patterns. Hopefully that makes sense
😢 So sorry
So sorry. And kinda grateful that you tell this. I feel my mum can’t wait to force moving into our guesthouse onto me. Now i’m 100% not gonna do. Stay strong, strive and trive!!❤
@@TillyA-e4x:) I learned a ton through the experience, but I do not recommend getting your lesson this way(by living with your narc mom as an adult) I truly thought I could help heal and fix her and that was not the case. What did happen is I helped and healed myself-but I think there are other ways to do this without subjecting yourself to your childhood abusive patterns. Hopefully that makes sense
@@Picca65:) I learned a ton through the experience, but I do not recommend getting your lesson this way(by living with your narc mom as an adult) I truly thought I could help heal and fix her and that was not the case. What did happen is I helped and healed myself-but I think there are other ways to do this without subjecting yourself to your childhood abusive patterns. Hopefully that makes sense.
Wow. I’m 56 and you are me.
The only thing I could count on with my family was that I could not depend on my family.
OMG, that’s what I’ve said for almost 60 years about my mom!!!
Thank you again Dr Ramani, I personally needed these reminders today & I have a feeling thousands of others as well. Specifically Self Love is beyond worth it.
Friendly reminder to all of us that have endured this toxic crap. Just keep in mind there are billons of souls out there to meet , just a reminder 🥰😉
Thank you for the reminder.❤💚🥰
It’s a constant disappointment and a waste of life trying to get them to understand and mean it. Having the same conversations/arguments over and over with only momentary changes leads you quickly falling back into the same unhealthy and unsafe pattern like clockwork. It becomes insanity. It truly costs too much of you to remain married or in intimate relations with these individuals.
Yep especially if they’re your parents!
…”the accumulation of disappointment, magnifies the grief”… OMG, how eloquently stated, Dr Ramani !!! It’s the absolute perfect description of how a narcissistic relationship goes 😢
Yes, I need to remember that. They (mom and older sister) manage to bait me by claiming they wish they knew what to do to make things better. I have told them countless times 😢 It’s part of their DARVO
Yes. They exaggerate their good actions and deny the rest of it.
Great advice, dr. Ramani. I wish someone told me these things 40 years ago, it would have saved me a lot of grief!
Oh my word!!! You just described my life completely. And may I add a side comment, when my husband finally does want to help, it’s with something I do myself every day and I get accused of being too independent to ask for help and I’m a control freak!! You are absolutely correct, there’s no winning or peace in the relationship.
So true. Communication doesn’t work. I tried to improve my communication, but it ended in vain. 😮
It’s not how to communicate with them. It’s how not to engage with them.