The harmful impact of narcissistic enablers
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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The enablers don’t get it as they’re not the target. What you go through only you know.
Enablers are a disgusting excuse for human beings. They are just as bad.
Idk, I think the enablers know…and are in denial, and stay in a state of disbelief to protect themselves from the narc.
Remember, enablers don’t want the narcs contemptuous wrath –
An enabler sacrifices the truth as a shield.
And living with that lie is, well…that’s why we are all here watching Dr. RAMANI.
The Enablers know.
No one is so naive.
Its human survival.
Yes and they are sometimes the target as well.
Not with covert narcissists. They typically only reveal their true selves to one person. The flying monkeys have never been exposed to the narcissist’s true self. The victim is then seen as problematic/crazy, which further traumatizes them and impedes healing.
One of the hardest parts of not engaging with flying monkeys and enablers is the constant rumination of what I might have said, or what video I could have sent them to show them this is also abusive. Part of it seems like cowardliness. They can’t deal with the truth so it’s easier to deny the problem even exists.
These are people who still identify with the perpetrators.
💯
lol yes
That’s true it’s weird and interesting when you observe things
Be careful of enablers
I would love to go no contact with my narcissistic parents. I’m low contact, and I’m hoping as soon as I move this year, I CAN go fully no contact…. My life is so much better without them in it.
An enabler once said, “I hate being in the middle. Why don’t you just make up with them?” I shook my head and laughed sadly, knowing I’d tried to communicate three years earlier, but they refused. This enabler knew everything that happened between us. I once thought I was the brainwashed one, but the enablers in my family are far worse off than me.
It’s disgusting, when you feel you’ve given an accounting of events, a person nods and “understands” that it’s been a situation of abuse — then they tell you to make up with your abuser, as if it’s a 2 to tango scenario and you’re equally abusive or equally responsible. Typically, I get rid of the abuser and them.
Let me guess, they do NOT want to hear your side (while giving you advice based on the narcissist’s story). 🤦🏻♀️
@@chuard190 and sometimes, the ONLY story the narcissist needs, is that they’re your parent. It becomes inarguable, to an idiot.
@@chuard190 BINGO WE HAVE A WINNER. They don’t want to hear squat. Every time I ask about ANY family members, they pull ranks on me.
@@privateprivate8366
The word “disgusting.” doesn’t even begin to cover it, and “abhorrent” falls short too. There are no words strong enough in English to describe these personalities. The only reason I stay in contact with this enabler is to get bits of information. I recently lost my grandfather, and without them, I wouldn’t have known about his passing. As for the other person, I haven’t spoken to them since I stood my ground and tried to get them to listen.
Enablers are often avoiding situations themselves.
It’s hard for me to be around people whose parents endlessly supported every dream they had/ have. They simply can’t relate to my dysfunctional past/present.
Some enablers do see it but don’t want to do anything, say anything nor do they want YOU to do anything or say anything because they believe it’s just easier to stay silent and continue enabling the antagonistic person(s).
Especially when they can play the good guy and be in the narcissist’s good graces
@SapphireZeev36 YES!! Then they play the tip toe around the moods of these difficult people game and expect you to do the same. I don’t do that anymore. These knowing enablers make it worse because they will throw YOU under the bus when you don’t play the tip toe game.
@ that’s one of the worst parts. And then you’re the problem.
@SapphireZeev36 exactly and I’m now ok with that label and it usually keeps the knowing enablers and difficult people at a safer distance when they see you aren’t a willing participant.
@@SapphireZeev36 respectively, the narc doesn’t have any grace because it requires empathy. what they do are manipulators who lie, steal, cheat and commit murder within families, living communities and society in general.
Thank you, well said. I think “capacity” is a good word. Not everyone has the capacity to be who you need them to be. Trying to get something from someone who doesn’t have it to give, is impossible.
Yes. My middle sister. She just checked out mentally from any supportive role, but darn sure expected ME to be her on call Dear Abby.
Enablers are honestly the worst they’re always gonna guilt trip you into going back to the abuse which makes me think that the enablers are just as heartless as the narcissist themselves
Yes..to protect themselves from the narc abuse.
Bc they’re narcs too
Witnessing an enabler defend the narc is nauseating and isolating.
Especially the dismissive enablers who KNOW the narc is an a55hole, yet live in a state of denial.
How severe does the narc behavior have to get for the enabler to just admit..yeah, I see it, I get it, and its not you.
Really! That’s the crazy-making part!
People that have the “you have black and white thinking” or “you’re projecting” comments irritate me the most.
Especially since them telling me I’m projecting is their projection on me.
Enjoying my solitude ~
Narcissists, often being master manipulators, will also manipulate the perceptions of outsiders, so as to isolate their target even more. Thus a victim feeling More Isolated, and misunderstood than ever. I have been enduring the snarky eye rolls for several years now. I have learned to keep to myself, keep my mouth shut, spend time with nature, deep dive research, and tread carefully in all or most of my dealings with people
Thank you! Haven’t gone home for Christmas for couple years. Also struggling going to church, find this message encouraging and validating.
No, not all churches/Christians are like this, and I quit lots of groups: arts, recreation, workplaces, causes for being toxic, after trying various ways to work things out after years of being there.
I continue to be involved/support in a variety of healthy groups as they communicate, respect opposing views, and have a common path forward, agreeing to disagree, but focus on the goal.
Love to all survivors.
Dr. Ramani. I’m older now. I’ve experienced most of the things that you are discussing. My life was so painful at times that I’m a bit amazed that I hung in there. But I did. And I feel like I’ve achieved a higher level of being. Although there’s always progress and work to do on ourselves. There are piles of details and a lot of waking up towards higher consciousness. But a phase is mostly finished. The painful, difficult emergency growth phase is past. So thank you. You have helped me to finish things that were started many many years ago. And I want to encourage others who may feel helpless. So everyone hang in there !
Thank you this is encouraging.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you 🙏☃️💘🥰
Until I found this channel I thought I was the only one. I have been on my own as long as I can remember. I intuitively knew never to talk about my life. You are correct. Whenever I even made the slightest mention of my narcissistic, physical, emotional or sexual abuse you could feel people emotional step back with a mixture of pity and disgust. People only want to hear about simplistic problems that can be solved by a big hug.
I’ve had some of the same experiences ❤️🩹 we are not alone
Or they tell you to just get over it and move on because the person (or people) are not worth lamenting over.
I wish people would accept my ‘no thanks’ without trying to shame blame guilt and manipulate me into doing what they think I should do. I am tired of feeling like I have to explain why I am protecting myself. No means no. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Remember enablers are in denial themselves and usually have traits of narcissistic d/o; peoples are uncomfortable with others’ trauma; I haven’t been told by peoples “don’t bother me with your stuff” but their body language and energy speak louder than what they do not say😊
I completely understand the sanity land analogy. I lived it for years. I walked went no contact it’s the best self care thing I’ve every done in my life. I left them to their own devices. They are now responsible for every outcome. I can now just sit back & watch all the self inflicted situations & drama being created. I have my sanity & peace back.
It’s ironic how enablers defend narcissists so fiercely, not realizing that behind closed doors, the narcissist is often trash-talking them too. Loyalty to a narcissist is a one-way street, they’ll use and discard anyone to maintain their image.