The Narcissist’s Loyalty Test
If you’ve ever been told you’re “disloyal” by a narcissist, this one’s for you. Narcissists twist loyalty into a test, a weapon, a trap—and you never win. Whether it’s family, relationships, or work, they demand all of you, and label you the problem when you push back. This video unpacks how the narcissist uses loyalty to keep you stuck, silent, and doubting yourself.
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
When you walk away from a narcissist, it’s not betrayal. It’s survival and being loyal to yourself.
Brain can only take so much. A time came its either im legit gonna be gone or I need to leave this torment now and survive.
The hardest part of leaving narcissists is that you both have to anticipate how they’ll retaliate, and you’re also usually losing your entire social network as a result as well.
Well said. It takes a while to find back you, but you do when you’re no longer around the narcissist.
It is survival. Sometimes literally. Well said.
Absolutely right! Well said…
I do wish I could send this to people stuck in these type of relationships, but their so will have ammo. I learned it the hard way. It’s horrifying how much I was around these type of people.
A narcissist will poison you while they paint themselves as the victim to whom you’re being disloyal when you find out and choose not to eat their food.
I hear you!! I went through the same situation- being poisoned by a parent and an ex.. this is demonic behavior as well as mental health deficits of course- but no matter what protecting yourself is MOST IMPORTANT! I had to go back home after a badddddd breakup and it was like I jumped from the frying pan into the fire 🤦🏻♀️
But ok and healing ❤️🩹 now and I hope all the best for you! If you need to talk I’m here for you or anyone!! ❤
@@Sobarista understand completely …happened to me when I was young and moved back and it was like moving back to hell…but of course no knowledge of what narcissism was back then
@ so sorry that you had to endure such terror and fear not to mention betrayal- the betrayal is what got me the worst 😞
But so happy that you are still with us 😌 and doing better I hope?
@@Sobarista Thank you so much. This is unbelievable behavior that I hesitate to even post after living with my parent after a bad breakup myself and being poisoned there too. No one would believe these are things we actually go through. Malignant-vulnerable narcissists/psychopaths are the scariest people. I’m here for you too! That means a lot.
@@Sobarista Like how does this happen?!
A narcs loyalty is conditional. Yours is mandatory.
Good one !!
Yes!!!
Yours is mandatory and unconditional
narc loyalty is only conditioned to them.
your loyalty is only existent (for them) if its conditioned to them.
Wao! Spot on😮. Es la verdad 😢😔 💔
I experienced this in a workplace! Totally toxic cult-like adoration was expected by the CEO and anyone who had independent thought was accused of disloyalty and targeted with bullying. It was madness.
Oooo I had that too! Totally destroyed my Engineering career. The bastard black listed me. It’s been hell making any kind of career work. Everyone just assumes I was the problem. Game over.
@@MaxBoom-n3r move to another state or country if possible
@@gayanngodfrey2824 I’ve been trying but having the name as a local felon has prevented me from getting any interviews or call backs, especially out of state as they always assume I was the felon that pops up when you search my name. I’ve mention this on my resume but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. I live in the twilight zone. Nothing works, nothing is real, nothing matters. It’s all a waste of time. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I just can’t care anymore after being discarded and lied to so many times.
Looking forward to Jesus making his final visit. 👍🏻
Narcissists are the Kings of Hypocrisy.
Kings, Masters, God’s. Indeed.
Yep! Pseudomonarchia Daemonum.
The NPD code: Loyal to me, abuse for thee.
This made me laugh, but it’s 100% true.
From everything and any situation, narcissistic person wants always an advantage of any kind. They are never altruistic. They never do something for free.
I think this is a really important topic due to the deep trauma “family loyalty” causes. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
“Hypocrisy is their love language in those types of relationships” that is SO dead on.That should you be etched in stone.Love your channel and awesome topic
Do as I say, not as I do … Double standards.
I was the family scapegoat for my 4 siblings and “mom” for 32 years The only time I started to feel any bit accepted or “one of the gang” was when I would have to cover for them, as soon as I either tried to speak truth or said no it was back to being blamed for bs that I had nothing to do with.
I went as much as I could no contact few years ago and I won’t put myself back in that situation no matter how lonely it might seem and I’m currently working on learning trust and slowly improving my self confidence
Same expereince
Same here except step mother and 2 step brothers
Good for you, dont go back!
I will forever be ashamed for some of the things I said to keep a narcissistic friend happy. And I will forever be amazed at how quickly the narcissists disposed of me when I finally drew a boundary.
Boundaries mean shame, attack to a narcissistic person. they cannot take it because they have a fragile sense of self. The system is built on extortion.
Me too – shame for enabling narcissist long-lasting. One false move – I was abandoned forever.
I was from that system and I know exactly what you are talking about. You said this in the most relatable and understandable way.
Thank you, Dr. Ramini ❤
So Brilliant. Where else are we going to get so many and varied examples of situations where this messed up application of loyalty exists? You are so Great at this, Dr. Ramani.
“Hypocrisy is one of the love languages of the narcissistic relationship” Luv it!
As a self aware, diagnosed narcissist, even I will admit, “Hypocrisy is their love language in those types of relationships” that is super accurate!!
Thank you Dr Ramani, a couple of years ago you helped me understand the difference between loyalty and blind Allegiance. I was being called disloyal for calling out those who were unfaithful to either their vows to me in marriage, contracts in work, or promises in family Dynamics. And when I finally divorced my Unfaithful husband, the quiet rage and character assassination included accusations of disloyalty and my alleged lack of faith and supposed disloyalty to Christianity, or divorcing and calling the marriage what it was , broken by his chronic philandering. Thank you for continuing to help us discern reality from their false delusional world. I am currently focusing my loyalty on my values morals and standards instead of those people and systems who seem to think they are owed unwavering submission and calling that loyalty.
My mother’s family is this. I was the ostracized one and got called “weird” and “different” among other things by aunts uncles cousins, you name it. My siblings were encouraged to bully me and I was bullied at school so my growing up was pretty lonely. I stopped going to family events and no one came to ask why. My mother got angry and left me in the US (We’re Canadian, and I am disabled and can’t drive) over a package of fabric she had sent to the wrong address. That was the last time we spoke. My sister and aunt tried to scold and accuse me over it. I cut them out just as fast. Not worth trying to repair a relationship they never really cared for from the start.
I go now, neither where I am wanted, nor needed, but where I am respected.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It’s quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Jefshroomies is your guy. The best shrooms and psychedelics guy I know
I wish those were more accessible here.
Microdosing was the next thing I planned for my husband. He’s 59 & facing many mental health issues, probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma for 8 days. Sadly, I had to get a TPO because he’s 6’6, over 300 pounds, and displaying violent behavior, always talking about hurting others. He’s really aggressive. If anyone out there knows about BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
Is he listed on Google ?
‘Jefshroomies’, a renowned figure in his line of work. I recommend researching his credentials further.