The Narcissist’s Underbelly
Narcissism often looks like confidence, control, or charm—but underneath is a fragile emotional underbelly most people never see. In this video, we explore what drives narcissistic behavior at its core: deep shame, fear of inadequacy, and the terror of being ordinary. Understanding this hidden layer won’t excuse the harm, but it can help you stop personalizing their cruelty. If you’ve ever wondered what’s really going on beneath the surface, this is the insight you’ve been missing.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani!
Thank you soo much for bringing up this topic! I really needed to hear this. Thanks Dr. Ramani🙏🏻 I hope you and yours have a wonderful weekend❤️
You are a beautiful person for helping us all, as well. ♡&☮︎
I can’t wait for a majority of people to catch up with this notion.
Power is steadiness, love, and silent help.
Not a need for attention, validation and cowardice.
Something the narcissist will NEVER CATCH ON TO. And I have to keep reminding myself this !!
@@SherryTomlinson-r2yThey pull on our adult heart strings. They are stuck in babyhood and if they ever were to catch up, it would take a really, really long time. Universe says, we met for a reason, but we belong with another.
Love you Doctor❤I am still in a 43yr marriage like this. I use to question everything & pray then you gave me breakthrough.
Please take of yourself 💔🤍🕊️
You always hit the nail on the proverbial head. Thank you for helping me understand the difficult relationship
There is a public case that I’m following closely and I’m seeing this play out in real time.
Bless you for this one and giving more reason for behavior and this is extremely difficult to work out with those you love
I love what Dr Ramani says when she was talking about the fear of being ordinary. This immediately reminded me of the whole idea of Zen where ordinariness is “where it’s at,” so to speak.
I love how you pinpoint directly…. I’m speechless right now! I will share that while listening to you I realize how grateful I am that I am civilly divorced and religiously annulled and 17 months no contact. I wanted out, hours away from the marriage but allowed it remained connected for years until the final annulment papers arrived. I continue to heal thanks to you Doctor Ramani. I am forever grateful. Blessings to you always. 💜🪻💜🪻💜
The abuse got worse the more I put together my narcissist backstory. I know exactly why he is the way he is. I know who continues not only to support but embolden and match his energy when it comes to punishment. He believes that I should live in purgatory hell being broken day in day out, because all im worth is being the vessel for his disregulated rage. After all that, he said I disgusted him. Because who would take all that and still be there. Then when I left? The post separation abuse was worse because he did it to our kids. I am now extremely discerning with where my empathy goes, and it’s always towards me first. Thank you dr❤
My narc partner refused to eat dinner and had a temper tantrum because there was delay in service. The embarrassment was unbearable as we were with our family friends.
So Brilliant. Dr. Ramani, you are so great at handling a critical and highly complex subject, and making it clear enough to remember and with highly relatable examples and explanations. Once you can clearly see the behavior, you can’t bring it up with them because they can’t even consider that they are anything less than infallible and better than everyone else. It would shatter their delusion.
Great video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much and can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn’t just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me get her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one?
Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online with her name, impressive
I had been following your knowledge since 4 years.
Thanks Mrs Ramani!
1. A narcissist depends on others to regulate their emotions
2. Without external validation, they lose their power
3. If you detach, they lose their power
4. If you have a support system they don’t know about, they lose leverage
5. If you are strong, assertive and stand your ground, they will run away from you to find easier targets
6. Subtly expose them, and that will pull the final trigger
Bonus
1. They hate follow up questions, because they may expose reality.
2. They hate when people remember past stories and catch inconsistencies
3. They hate when people cross check facts
4. They hate when people hold their ground when they try to gaslight
5. They hate when people walk away from them
#5 OR they will assemble their flying monkeys, make you the scapegoat for some imagined issue, and get rid of you – especially if the “supply” is a position within a company or organization.
@@MarkGTLLC Of course if you are strong and assertive, you need strong social support as a cushion. You need to be better connected and more social and more charming than the narcissist to pull it off.
If I learn something from therapy is that I must be compassionate to myself not just for others
5:34 My former cult leader (sociopath), and parents (NPD). They have no regard for how their behavior, words, actions or beliefs harm and otherwise affect those around them. No amount of explaining your experiences to them helps. They want to trample over you, so they do. It’s as simple as that. God forbid they’re given the power to do it, however, and nothing gets in their way. They need to be tricked and pushed down by reality when their actions are causing harm to not only others and society, but themselves included.
The entire world is falling into chaos… I just thank god I have been watching you for the last several years… I feel protected… thank you so much dr. Ramani❤❤❤
11:30 “Compassion is not sacrifice to the point of self-harm,” (Dr. Ramani). Thank you. I really needed to hear that. :,(