The ONE WAY EMPATHY DRAIN in narcissistic relationships
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I’m full of empathy ! It’s a blessing and a nightmare too😮
Strong boundaries that you honor are the safeguard for your heart
When the world drains your empathy you just got to be empathetic to yourself and give yourself a break from from it all. Find what brings you joy and spend a little time each day doing that. Recharge the batteries with a little self love 💖
Find delight in life!
Thank you Dr Ramani ❤ we can have empathy, but, you are they don’t have any for you/ others.
People who say “See the good in people”. Have never been involved with a narcissist. Seeing the good in narcissists, comes with bad, heavy consequences and side effects that last for the rest of your life.
Amen!!
I saw the good in my ex… still do sighs… but I also see the truth now behind his mask!
Soooooooooo TRUE.
Good intentions are simply a green light for the narcissist & strong boundaries are the red light as well as the stop 🛑 sign
It’s not that black and white. Some people end up holding onto their low self esteem and don’t have boundaries for themselves yet. They are stuck in victim mode under control and don’t want others to ruffle feathers of the narcissist THEY are dealing with so as a safety and self preservation they try to not deface the narcissist and keep up the “see the good in them” mind set. It’s not even conscious most times. It’s not seen until you get out. The truth is there is good in everyone, but if there’s enough bad there to harm you or your loved ones then the investment isn’t worth it to stay with them. Better to be loyal to the people who don’t abuse you and matter most.
Dr.Ramani you are amazingly correct. This distorted version of empathy almost cost me my life. He was going to do something very bad and I didn’t fall for it because I realized always trying to see the good in him was costing me judgement and ultimately myself. These types are abusive and they will ruin you….not to be dramatic but your life depends on you stopping. You have to give them and watch how you heal and flourish. No matter how nice they are and mine was nice, they will bring you harm. They will bring you harm. Disconnect, heal and you self with THANK YOU!
As an Empath who extends lots of empathy, consideration, compassion, etc., it was easy to get mixed up with folks with narcissistic traits/behaviors.
Thankfully, I got out of those relationships while not being broken or brought down.
I am actually a more mature Empath in the sense of not compromising my levels of Empathy, Compassion, Consideration, etc., while having stronger boundaries now than ever before.
The narcissistic experience was definitely different life lessons.
My foundation is still strong as ever… or even stronger than before. ❤
I am 71 and at 4 years old I remember thinking I am on my own. I have spent 67 trying to overlook the abuse and see the “good” in the narcissists in my life. What a waste. Dr. Ramani is 100% right. Do not do what I did, get on with your life. There are good people that need and will appreciate your empathy.
Wow! I was about that age when I had that realization as well.
Me 2 💔❤️🩹♥️
me too, and what a waste of life. And in the end you will discover somehow that nothing you did meant anything anyways. Everything you give just drains into a void, like everything that is sucked into a black hole.
Never too late to start healing. God bless you dear.
72 and it’s taken a long time to understand this..I have good friends who care as much about me as I care about them..
SO exhausting!
SO much time WASTED…
“The good stuff is NOT an eraser…”
The good stuff was part of the snow job! It’s just the false self
The “good” in a narcissist is always transactional. Any time and every time they do something good they expect something in return for it. That’s not being good.
I wish people understood that everything a narc does is simply manipulative
Truer words were never spoken. ♥
Married to the narcissist for some 30 years now and kept on looking for the good in him constantly.
Good he is but only for others not for me or my daughters. I had been watching all videos of Dr Ramani. Thanks for giving me such an insight on this less talked about subject.I really went through that compassion drained phase but now with the knowledge provided by Dr Ramani I think I can sail through and be fine.
Thanks Dr Ramani
Gray rock out of it 😉
Being an empath we can see through a lot. Like watching a nark fake cry. I don’t feel it. Then a nark gets a bit mad. Like Dr Ramani said we feel genuine emotions. When I’ve been caught up in nark relationships I did a lot of second guessing myself. Now I’m like I ain’t feeling this- period!
Dr. Ramani, I have compassion fatigue for narcissistic individuals…..and also for the enablers. I’m over it. Thank you for saying “it’s not an eraser”. Amen. ♥
After I got burned, I just don’t have tolerance for any of them. I’m done.
Yup
These people need to remember the saying “do for others as you would have them do for you.” That doesn’t mean to continue to serve them, while they abuse and use you.
They have no understanding of the golden rule even if so-called Christian
I’ve been an empath all my life. Never ever have I ever seen it as a gift. It has made me miserable all my life. To me empathy was the ability to feel what the other felt. It’s sadness, it’s anger, it’s frustration, it rage, I felt it all even before the person, any person could put a name to it. Again. It has been a curse, an unending curse where others feeling have always made their way into my brain and took over my own. I simply disappeared in their emotional state with all it’s toxicity and selfishness until there was nothing left of me…
Same. ❤. Stay strong and self focus and self love and self care.
Use this superpower to nurture your inner child buried under all the abuse as well as the obligations imposed on her 💔❤️🩹♥️ FOG is the fear/obligation/guilt that was used to control us but we need the light of day now
I disappeared. Time to go in search of me.
I hope, with this awareness, you are able to focus on your own wellbeing, and surround yourself with people who appreciate you.
Thank you so much, you keep me sane, and you are so smart and insightful! 👍❤
I think that the idea of empathy meaning that we have to make ourselves see the good in people while not holding them accountable for their bad behavior is perpetuated by the narcissists in our society. It serves them well.
It’s so tiring, every time you want the narc to conform to normal behaviour, they want something else for it first. And afterwards they can’t stop talking up their absolutely minor effort they made.
Being empathic is not about seeing only the ‘good’ in others, it is seeing the truth, seeing the humanity, understanding the suffering. I understand the repetitive patterns borne from suffering in the narcissists around me to a much great depth than they do. This does not mean that I do not have boundaries and limit my contact with these narcissists because I also feel empathy for myself. Being empathic is not about gaslighting myself, ignoring what I see right in front of me. Empathy is feeling everything and acting in the best interests of the whole, which includes myself, and does not include enabling toxic behavior in anyone.
It took me 45 years to figure this out, so much happier and stress free, no matter the behavior on their part.