The ONLY right path out of a narcissistic relationship
In a narcissistic relationship, every option—staying, trying harder, or walking away—can feel awful. That’s part of the trap narcissism creates: making you believe there’s no way out without feeling like the villain. In this video, we unpack why even the healthiest choice (disengaging) still comes with pain—and why it’s still the clearest path toward healing. If you’re stuck between guilt, grief, and exhaustion, this is the clarity you need.
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Have a great Monday everyone❤️
you as well; happy Monday!💗❤️💜💗❤️💜
Door number 4 – emergency exit. Worked for me!
Me too
Mee too!
😂🥹 good for you! 🔥 👀💜💚💙
took the bye bye door 5 months ago. i am starting to experience well being again just now. 9 months of narc unbelievable abuse, took 6 months of recovery. more than a year of my life in the trash. its absurd. i hope that at least i have learned.
@@NoName-to5xl Not Trashed!!! Hellishly valuable time. You move forward as a more powerful warrior who will protect your inner child from the next would-be abuser. That time was fertilizer (stank didn’t it) – NOW you bloom 😉
Out of all the choices the only one that I believe works in the long term is the last one. Disengagement and exiting the relationship is ultimately whats best for the person that wants better for themselves and healthier relationships.
I was in tears the last couple of days, fearing for my life, fearing for my future because I have chosen to disengage from my narcissistic mother. This video lifts my heart because I was confused if it was what I needed because of the heartbreak. But your words have given me clarity. Once again, thank you!
💔❤️🩹❤️ I wish you so much luck! It’s difficult, I know.💔❤️🩹❤️
Hey, I’m with you. I still live with her but I have been greyrocking for years now, it is so hard… so so hard. You’ve got this. You’ll get out. We will get out
Hard AF to not get animated when they make contact.
I struggled with that, too. But stick with it! It takes practice. Eventually you’ll just sit there and let it wash over you like any other piece of theater. (Because that’s what it is.) 😉
The more I watch these videos, the more I regret now knowing this before. Now I feel stuck to the narc, like infected by the narc. I feel owned.
That feeling is not love or caring every day is a battle to try to keep you YOU are so important keep you thats all that matters
Probably are infected and you can get out of infection
Keep reading and watching and find road back to yourself
I joined dr Ramani healing program
@@shellysawchuk1190yeah… The feeling that he owns me, his smirk whenever he’d pass a snide remark, or mock me, those memories flash before my eyes. It drains me and the only time I’m free is when I relapse to addiction or ask him for an explanation which never comes. At times I think of good memories n feel I’m going insane that I’m the bad guy here. If I could go back in time, id never initiate any friendship with him.
That’s exactly what the Narcissist wants, for you to Feel Owned, so that you give up on your individuality, your desires, and your freedom. Dr. Ramani offers options, even though they are difficult, to find and express yourself again, even when you can’t leave.
The only time I don’t feel like I belong to narc is when I relapse to addiction or message him for an explanation which never comes. At times I think I’m the wrong one. If I could go back in time, id never befriend him.
Discouraging to learn that even Dr. Ramani is having to deal with a relationship with a narcissist that can’t be terminated. They’re everywhere!
Yes but the no contact is the only way to get to the healing and freedom of the negativity of their head games…..
I’m so encouraged by it because knowing the reality makes the solution more clear.
When it comes to a point where you say, “I’ve had enough. I can’t do this anymore.” That’s a red flag . for me, it meant that no matter how much I had hoped it would get better, no matter how much I had invested into it, no matter how much I loved them, it wouldn’t work if they refused to want change, invest in me and, above all, love me.
That’s just a lopsided relationship built on my own hopes.
I would engage in so many arguments and biggest mistake was thinking they’d change. In the end, walking away was the only thing that didn’t destroy me. I mean, I still felt invisible, but at least I wasn’t going through the cycle of pain again. Leaving wasn’t because I was weak, it was finally choosing peace, even if no one saw it.
AMEN
This needs to be taught in school but since it’s not I’ll educate my children.
you can try. but its hard to understand. HOPE they meet at an early age a friend or a colleague that is hardcore NPD. take that experience as a chance to teach what it is with a real example. you may very well save thier life. teach them “evil exists” . it aint easy, because these people are stealthy, they make you doubt your own eyes, and their castles of lies are so articulate, you constantly doubt if its real…
@@NoName-to5xlyou’re right. Lovebombing and gaslighting is a big lesson in itself and the main one, empathy.
Unfortunately, many kids are getting “homeschooled” in this! Call it technical training. 😩
@@NoName-to5xlafter seeing the truth once I can’t allow myself to think all of my pain was for nothing. I stand in truth, even if they pretend nothing is wrong. The permanent shift in behavior after you become aware is a constant reminder as well.
@@ErasEnd-y4v😢I know
Dr. Ramani ~ the fact that you deal with these same people in your personal life and speak from experience (and share, thank you!) …it makes your advice and direction much more credible to those of us that are up to our eyeballs in these relationships! 😌 Thanks again. 💜💚💙
After 37yrs of marriage to one… I have tried to disengage as he is with someone else now… looking back over the years “he disengaged ” sooooo many times… but I now realise how ALONE he made me feel…and how insignificant we become…I am in mourning the last 11months..even though I know he will never change… so trauma bond is quite a thing… I am an Empath… half the time I’m not sure why the crying….the shock of it all… thank you for your videos… 🩷🩷🩷
Hang in there. The more you choose to honor yourself, your wishes, desires, goals, feelings and allow yourself to simply enjoy the peace you have in your life, the easier all of that will come to you. Please remember to not punish yourself for feeling whatever way you feel at any given moment. You are simply who YOU are. Do what’s right for you now. Don’t just be a survivor – be a thriver 😊
@@s.h.1223❤❤❤
Thank you from an adult who first tried to kill themselves at four years old due to narcissistic abuse.
Same. Just had that argument with my narcissistic mom the other day. She finally admitted that she should have put me up for adoption. It was the first time she admitted responsibility for anything and it felt very good.
Narcissistic relationships create a painful trap where every decision feels wrong, and the system doesn’t offer real guidance on how to heal from that trauma. I was lost in that same space, torn between guilt, grief, and exhaustion, unsure how to reclaim my life. Reading Your Mind Was A Target by dr Voss gave me quiet, practical tools to rebuild my sense of self and slowly find peace beyond the manipulation. Healing isn’t simple or quick, but understanding the system’s role in keeping us trapped helped me take the first steps toward freedom.
Engaging with Boundaries, Disengaging, or walking away are MY choices, and I have no qualms to do one of the three.
I have done all three while being true to me. The narcissistic folks never broke me and never will. They had no idea who I am…includes family and non family members. 💜
I had to walk away from the hope that anything will change in my 31 year marriage. I had to walk away from material possessions, my home, a relationship with the three stepchildren that I raised since they were won three and four. I had to walk away and give up so much to find peace. Tomorrow I am going to sign the last of my divorce papers. He left me when I needed him the most when my beloved mother and father were leaving this Earth and my best friend since I was four, died expectedly. I’ve survived when I didn’t think I could. I’ve had to pick up the pieces behind the trail of destruction that he left. I have found strength I didn’t think I had and I now see clearly the pure evil of his life path which I no longer have to travel with him. I have lost everything to gain everything.
The things that matter most anyway. I know poor people who are rich and rich people who are poor. Nothing can compensate 4 piece of mind and well-being. Sending my love to all those who have suffered the indescribable heartache of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
38 years for me. alternating between fear and guilt. She viewed marriage as combat win at all cost. Raised her two children while my own suffered as suitcase kids recently my stepson show genuinely respect for me and acknowledge things about his childhood that were good and he’s 40 plus years old now. Take heart. They may eventually mature and think like adults and recognize the role you played. I’m out now almost one year and been able to focus on my health issues and nailing down radical acceptance.
This is SO good. Radical acceptance seems almost feels like (or where I am with it) feels like mourning. . Not even symbolically. It ACTUALLY feels like you’re mourning their death. With that, there’s a simplicity to it that allows me to be. . . winsome? Is that the word? Nostalgic?
When they’re “dead”, there is no more trying, no enemy, no harsh words stored up in our minds, just left to mourn. As sad as that is, I’ll take simple mourning of a lost loved one over the chaos and destruction of when he was “here”.
Beautifully said. You put in words exactly how I’m experiencing it right now
Another winner Doctor ❤
It’s not about hating or punishing their abject selfishness, it’s about loving and caring for yourself.
Dr Ramani is world’s leading expert on raising awareness on these critical narcissistic issues. Thank you, Dr Ramani. ❤❤❤
Narcissists never learn … so out means out