The Seasons of the Narcissistic Relationship
Narcissistic relationships don’t just follow a cycle—they unfold in emotional seasons. From the thrill of idealization to the confusion of gaslighting, and eventually the clarity of radical acceptance, each season brings its own challenges and insights. In this video, we walk through the four seasons survivors experience and why the final one—where you can no longer unsee the truth—is the most freeing of all. If you're stuck in the cycle, this framework can help you finally move forward.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I thank you dr Ramani for helping me see the toxicity in my relationship
I’m in season four for sure, it’s been a very rough road to get here, but grateful to have made it. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I literally just entered season four yesterday. I had been living in season three for about 5 1/2 months, still trauma bonded, still hopeful that change would occur, still certain that if I just managed to explain things well enough maybe this person who was once apparently good would see the light and at least make some small changes, still thinking that yes while covert narcissism is most likely the problem there might be another issue at play here too that could at least if that was changed to make some of the behaviors better. And then we had the day before yesterday When I made some boundaries and requests and literally all of them that I made that day were broken in the very same day. I see it. Fortunately I don’t have to stay. I’m extracting myself completely, and I’m going to live my life. And it was perfect timing on this video. And yes, well there is still some pain behind all of this it’s a different kind. It’s not a trauma bonded pain. It’s just grief and sadness at this point. And I do have a lot more peace. I am already feeling peace about this. The reality is no matter who the person is, no matter what the issues are that they are dealing with, it is absolutely impossible For someone to change if they themselves do not even recognize that they have a problem or even if they do if they still refuse to get help of any kind.
I’m at season 4 thank God 😊 I can’t unsee any of the ick of his behaviour and I don’t react and engage and blame myself anymore 👌🏽
You are absolutely correct. I am 72 and spent my entire life in season two despite seeking help from counselors, professionals, Christians, self help books and friends. In all of that I can remember two statements that even hinted that perhaps, just perhaps, it was not me that was the problem. The best way I can describe most advice was that the person or persons were sitting outside a war zone in lounge chairs sipping ice tea. As I came out beaten and bloodied, they would say, good job now go back out there while they sat back in their chairs and continued to sip their tea.
Oh bless you. I relate to this!
My Mom, white wine
Blessedly now in season 4. It really is the season of peace. I feared losing hope in my marriage. Now I embrace the loss of hope as my freedom. Bring it on.
This is a great example, Thank you Dr. Ramani❤❤❤ I agree, once i see it clearly, I can’t go back to the previous seasons, It is hard to break through the trauma bond, but it is possible It is brighter and peaceful out of the narcissistic universe for sure.
Recognizing bait; key to peace of mind.
🙏
This is so relatable. I am in season 4. I know that I should move on. I do not hope to fix it. I am so detached. But I see all of it now and it makes me sad and feeling so isolated. I watch people having fun in social settings and I feel like I will never have that in my life again, like it’s too late. It feels like I have missed out on my own life. Two days ago it was my 31st anniversary and there was absolutely no joy in it. It’s so empty but I don’t know how to move forward. I think my mind wants something to be obvious, like him doing something that I can’t get past. But I have already lived through the worst of it, now things are just empty (which could actually be the worst of it?). Dr Ramani’s talks are more helpful that my therapy sessions!
I havent watched your videos in a while, after nearly 4 years I’m finally clear of a relationship with a toxic narc. I wanted to thank you for all your wisdom and to say that you truly helped me navigate thru that hell hole
Love this explanation! I’ve heard that even though winter can be tough to get through, it’s where a lot of the deep healing happens in order to bloom in spring 🌻
I’m in Season 4 and 7 months free of him and yes it’s been hard at times but I’m so happy to be alone and free of my narcissistic abuser. I at last have peace. I recommend your videos to everyone I talk to about how I got free of him as without your videos I would still be confused and stuck in the toxic relationship with him. ❤
These videos seriously help me to recalibrate my mind and identify traits in people which can be perceived as harmless to untrained eyes and ears.
I left the ex-narc right after the new year in 2019. I reached season 4 in ’22. Haven’t looked back since. Love my peace!
I hit season 4 thank God. Filed for divorce 2 months ago. Will be finalized in Oct. my heart is still detaching. But my mind couldn’t unsee it. My rose colored glasses dropped, when his mask dropped. I’m sending love to everyone healing! ❤🙌🏻
Me too! Thank goodness 🎉
I’m sorry you are going through that. I can’t UNSEE any of it at all…..let them fall…. Everyone does
@@Noosha-nb3lo I’m proud of you! Keep going ❤
The worst is when you make it to season 4, but you can’t leave due to issues such as inadequate finances, children, medical conditions, etc. 😢
Going through the different emotional seasons in a narcissistic relationship is overwhelming and exhausting. The constant confusion and gaslighting make you question your own reality, and it’s even harder when the world around you doesn’t fully acknowledge the depth of this pain. The system seems to benefit from keeping survivors silent and isolated. I spent years caught in that exhausting cycle, feeling lost. Then, while reading quietly one book, I found simple yet powerful ideas on how to manage those difficult emotions and gradually regain my strength. It wasn’t a quick fix, but those insights became an important part of my journey toward healing and clarity. If you’re in that cycle, sometimes the right guidance,even subtle,can make all the difference.
Well said
When you are an empath (and the narcissist loves it if you are) you can spend decades in season two. It is so hard to do what is necessary because it isn’t in an empath’s nature to inflict any kind of pain whatsoever onto another. So an empath absorbs everything, and lives for the good days.
Ladies I’m not even gonna lie… I was done. Like fully over it. Relationship felt dry, I felt invisible, he barely looked at me when I talked. Then I found this book called Veylarim Treatment by Sofia Amoretti (heard it in a podcast, almost skipped it lol). But something told me to check it. And wow… the shift?? INSANE. Within a week he was hugging me randomly, being soft again, actually present. I haven’t felt that energy from him in years. Not tryna hype but if you feel like you’re fading in your relationship… just read this. Real talk.
Anyone know where I can grab a copy?
Ugh I’m way too curious now lmao
Lmao this book’s been around forever… y’all just catching on?
Bruh now I wanna read this so bad
Such a hidden gem, not even kidding
“Which is why for the longest time, people kinda got stuck in a permanent season 2 of confusion and despair, because there was no information.” 9:28 This was the last 25 years of my life, until listening to Dr Ramani and reading her book got me unstuck and into season 3 and 4. Thank you!
My mind is EXPLODING!!!!! THIS IS THE DEFINITIVE Dr. Ramani video!!!!!!!!! Thank you for saving my life!!! ❤