The Tale of the Red Toolbox and the Narcissist
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I had a small smile about halfway through this.
A BRILLIANT way to explain this.
Thank you!
That man would never have listened to the frail woman. Narcissists often have one person they absolutely oppose no matter what.
My brother opposes me like this. I went no contact over him, not respecting my boundaries when I told him to stop sending me Facebook posts we then fought about. He’s misogynistic and voted for Trump in 2016.
True! I could tell my ex something multiple times, only to be completely dismissed or insulted for suggesting such a thing. When his adult daughter (who was perfect in his eyes) would suggest the exact same thing I did, he wouldn’t stop talking about how great the idea was!
Bravo Dr. Ramani! You are so right on the money. Though it took a lot of suffering, I now know how to buffer myself from this type of crazy draining existence.
I stopped caring and feel a lot better.
Thank you Dr. Ramani, we cannot thank you enough!
Indeed, their partner is often their most disrespected emotional punching bag.
@@lilunette9319Nothing is worse than proclaiming the grass is green, the sky is blue and the sun is shining when it actually is while the narcissist tells you otherwise and everyone else in the room agrees with them.
Thank you for saying there is no proof narcissistic people do or don’t live longer. The last thing we need to do is worry about it.
My grandmother is a narcissis , she has abused my mother and my grand father, she is still Alive 73 years
A man’s joy prolongeth his days.
@@dustinmiller2775 in the case of a narcissist I would argue they have no real joy, only the desire to win or conquer. That includes to acquire using criminal behavior. They are really only best at one thing and that is deceiving themself.
I stopped caring. Focusing on myself now.
OMG, once again you hit the nail on the head!!! This is my life literally and metaphorically!!!!
We should all be able to sue narcissists for.. intentional infliction of emotional distress.
so true
Yes!However, I’m afraid the system would be increasingly backed up, sadly we still would have to endure through the chaos.
It’s sooo good to hear so many times that radical acceptance is such a big step. It feels like a compliment ☺ but specially it feels like I’m doing way better than I give myself credit for, which makes me give myself credit 😁
I am going to re-watch this video any time I feel that false hope sneaking in.
Amen! Thank you Doc I needed this so much. You are my fairy godmother.at 55. Still learning ❤
A sad and beautiful tale. Sad for them. Beauty at a high price for us. Dr. R, you’re a lifesaver.
Your stories are always like a good workout… I’m going to hurt for a couple days, but I’ll be stronger for it. Thank you for being you and for watering my garden so generously. You’re infinitely appreciated! ❤️
Beautifully said🙏🏻 thank you
Your life gets better when you STOP CARING about someone, who doesn’t care about you!
Does it ever! Wow what a release in so many ways
Well said. Over time they become a distant shadow that keeps getting dimmer and dimmer to finally complete nothingness. Indifference is the key.
The opposite of love is indifference.
This story reminds me of when my narc husband decided to bring his new full body black bear mount the size of a grizzly bear complete with a rock foundation into my dining room. He didn’t want it in the basement. I complained over and over and was so embarrassed when people came over to visit. Finally, one Christmas I decided to hang Christmas bulbs on it while we were eating our Christmas dinner. He became enraged !! Said I was destroying it and even took pictures! Only after that, he moved it into his own bedroom.
Dr. Ramani, you have given us a gift with your videos, your books, and your guidance. It took me until my early 50s as well before I came to a place of understanding the narcissistic relationships in my life. You helped me, and you continue to help me, complete a puzzle that I had been struggling to put together for more than 40 years. Seeing these relationships clearly, even in hindsight, is so validating and freeing, and for that, I can’t thank you enough! Love to you, sister.
Same experience here! Did not start understanding until the age of 55! Still struggling with some things and continuing to learn. Dr Ramani has been so instrumental in my learning! So grateful to her! Wishing you the best!
Congrats doc, on understanding the lifelong hopelessness and injustice of that control, and not taking the fight. Thanks for weaving the story into a moral for others, to also unclench the injustice. They don’t change. No matter how heavy or useless the toolbox, it is a placeholder of their control.
Thank you so much, Dr Ramani. You answered me. “Indifference is power. Radical acceptance is loss of love, loss of respect and tremendous grief.” I get it now, sometimes I’m indifferent. I practice gray rocking & radical acceptance. That’s why when I get angry at the narc mother because of being insulted & invalidated, I sometimes shout coz I’ve lost the love and respect I once had. I also lost the trying to please aspect. I learned to push back more vocally sometimes. With vulnerable narc, it’s always passive-aggressive. I now feel less crazy. Bless you, Dr Ramani.
I’m retired at 27, went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife, $35k biweekly and a good daughter full of love ❤️…….
I’m highly inspired.
Please spill some sugar about the bi-weekly stuff you mentioned.
I raised 75k and Christina Ann Tucker is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
Wow 😱 I know her too
Miss Christina Ann Tucker is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.
I started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH!
< I know that woman(Christina Ann Tucker) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!