The TRUE CAUSE of the LONELINESS EPIDEMIC
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Being alone is healing; it’s MUCH better than living w/an a**hole🤬
Agree.
Really Isolated here…. but though I am lonely, I never felt lonier than when I was with him, surrounded by all his followers.
Everyone asks about your household when meeting you just as a standard greeting (family, partner etc) … small talk….when you are really alone it hurts… but it hurt when with him too
I am my support system
I think a dog has been the best connection I’ve ever made to combat loneliness.
One can feel more alone in some relationships than actually being alone.
Create time everyday to connect with Nature. Find time to out your bare fert in dirt, grass, or water. Find a few minutes to enjoy the rays of the sun and nothing else for a few minutes. Listen to the birds!
Nature is alive.
Do you garden or have a companion animal or two? Ever done yoga?
You got that right!
You are speaking right into my life right now. Dr Ramani.
Battling loneliness is not just about making connections, it’s about healthy connections with those who really see you and understand you.
And this is why I’m alone. It’s better this way.
@@Pomeramanfeeling seen & safe are the basics to me, and I think I’m the only one who can give me those, everybody’s love is conditional
@@trilabradorable As my grandparent’s and parent’s generation used to say; better alone than in bad company. It does get old sometimes though. The human condition I guess.
Literally speaking the only one I trust is God as a person, no one else is safe, that’s why I can’t love anyone nor as a friend nor as a partner, no amount of healing will ever restore my trust in people, and unfortunately to health care professionals I’m just a number, I’m grateful for you Dr. Ramany because you have helped me and so many other people open our eyes to the reality of this situation, thank you for you sane advice, it’s enlightening
I have had more health problems (anxiety, depression…) when I was surrounded by people.
Being alone makes me feel safer.😊
As I’m starting to listen, my guess is that even when you escape the abuse, the narcissist continues to bad mouth you to the rest of the family and they blame you for abandoning the narcissist. And you’re cut off from them all
That’s exactly what my ex did. He tried to make our son hate me
Good guess. Its called revenge. It’s their MO.
Happening to me now
Yep they tell straight out lies about you and half truths. An their smack talk is usually about themselves. People are hating the wrong person! Make me feel so hateful!
And it will stay that way as long as no one asks or knows our side of the story, but that’s okay, it would only put our types deeper into the hole.
People say, “just reach out.”
Sure.
It doesn’t always work that way.
Loneliness is awful.
People are not meant to be alone, but our society almost venerates the “strong person who faces life alone.”
And, people are more concerned about their own stuff, and they don’t care about stuff anyone else is going through.
Everything you said in the video about how someone is alone, is me.
that is such a lazy bullshit suggestion
It’s all of us
Big hugs
I have actually 2 other aspects of that. That people are forced to not be alone. What I’ve experienced is a job that’s big on “collaboration”. It’s like it’s supposed to be some hug fest, when you just want to get tasks done and go home. Not being an extroverted person, who cannot wait for someone to visit your office and not attending useless meetings and events, means you’re not a team player. You aren’t participating in “company culture”. For that, you can lose your job. There’s also people outside of work, who feel that, if you’re going through something, they’ll simply worsen it. They feel that a person who is going through life difficulties, is a problem repository. There’s also what I’ve come to find as narcissistic neighbors, , who want to let you know that a locked door is not a boundary they have to respect. That, once they moved in, you’re stuck. No I’m not.
When someone says that, they are saying to me, that they are not willing to meet me for coffee and help me feel better. I do not have money for a therapist and the last therapist tried to force solutions.
@@shainanash8518 I’m right there with you.
If an empath is living w/a narcissist , having children, and she’s living w/this very toxic individual, no matter how the financial need might be, IT’S POSSIBLE TO MOVE OUT, for the sake of their SANITY, and WELLBEING, although it may be a small sacrifice to make. Once you leave any hellish situation, the loneliness will leave☺️
I have had to grieve my child and she’s living
They alienate you from other loved ones…and then
you alienate yourself from “them”. Being lonely from
those other loved ones grates on your soul. Asking myself:
“Can I live this way forever???” I’m wondering about it myself.
I’m so grateful you did this video! People who have never experienced this dynamic in a close relationship don’t get it and it can take years and years to even understand the emptiness when a person is in it. It keeps a person stuck and confused and self-doubting and self-blaming. Thank you for talking about this. It affects everything in a person’s day to day life that then turns into years and decades of confusion and ultimately deep sadness.
I hope Ur getting away Suzanne, I was kicked out 4 months ago and the Abuse is still beyond crazy, but I’m healing and NOT ACCEPTING HIS LIES ANYMORE, I KNOW…🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤I AM GRATEFUL THAT UR HERE LEARNING, DR. RAMANI’S BOOK HAS GIVEN ME THE CONFIDENCE TO MOVE FORWARD INTO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, BCAZ WE DESERVE BETTER 🎉🎉🎉
@@flightmama3191 Thank you, yes I’ve been following Dr. Ramani and reading her books for quite awhile now. Mine is a covert situation and I’m from the generation that no one talked about this and it was common and could be expected for a girlfriend/wife to be invisible and last in line, except for food and sex. I’ve been aware for many years and am still trying to move him out. His lying and dismissiveness put me into a difficult financial situation, but I’m finally getting close. Best to you! 🌸
❤
Fortunately , I grew up in a time where social media didn’t exist. As such, I can enjoy it as a SMALL part of life. It enhances rather than consumes. It’s not an all or none issue but like anything else , balance.
True! 👍
Quality over quantity matters. I removed myself from low-quality people. It’s better to enjoy solitude being alone than feel lonely with them. 😊
Outsiders and very lonely people don’t understand that being lonely can be way more important, than being abused and predated. And I can tell you that, if you say that to someone, they may get a confused look on their face like, “Really?”
Agreed 👍🏻
I’ve been doing that since 20 years ago. I’m 52 now. I have cut a few more of these so called “friends” starting last year after coming to the realization that some of them are just fair-weather-friends.
@@pinoyheartbeat7245 I reciprocate the same level of effort people give me so I have very few friends now. If someone is not scared of losing me, I’m not scared of losing them. I’ve give too much of myself, now it’s time to protect myself.
Well said. Solitude is far better than being lonely in a crowd.
I’ve felt lonely all my life, even though I’ve been surrounded by people most of the time. But the feeling of not being seen, heard, or loved by my narcissistic parents has taken a toll on my past relationships, and I’m now trying very hard to find healthy people and distance from my parents.
The ‘imprints’ or ‘tonal programming’ on aspects of the nervous system sticks with one….
Being aware that you want to change yourself is the first step.
You can and will become more of your Best Self every day, better and better and better!
That right there. Personally I find it really hard to find healthy people I could trust with who I would feel heard, seen and understood.
You got this! On your way!
I get you, I left my whole family… and to start over again to meet new “healthy” people is not easy. I feel so alone, friends don’t get it… even if they say they do.. they don’t get it. I send you strength 🍀
Narcissistic people make so many things in life harder to do, if not impossible.
With all the stress and drama the narcissists throw in, having survived it, then looking at what could have happened from a legal perspective, being alone now seems a better option. Keeping people at the acquaintance level doesn’t sound like community, but?
Narcissist are the toxic energizer bunny on steroids
They want you to feel lonely, so you come back around.
It’s paradoxical. As I recover from a 20 year abusive marriage to a narcissistic wife, I feel overwhelming loneliness but would rather be alone most of the time.
Connect with Nature!
Find time to connect with the Living Earth. Listen to the birds, walk barefoot, go on short walks,….
Just remember how lonely you were when living with your narcissist. It’s better to be alone than alone with a narcissist.
I get you
Thank you Dr. Ramani…I realized I isolated myself many times throughout my life and had to put on a mask that things are fine at work. Though it’s hard to develop close relationships. I’ve learned it’s ok to be lonely I know I’m never alone.
We feel the deepest sense of loneliness with a narcissist because they reject the very thing we want to give, our love.
Bingo right there!!! 👍🏼
In my experience, it’s narcissists who cannot handle loneliness. If their partner is away 1 day, they are calling everyone with ‘I’m so lonely’, then demand that you fix it for them.
Funny thing is being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely – but being surrounded by narcissistic hollow people sure does. It is the inability to experience being whole that creates the feeling of loneliness.
I’m a year and a half out of one narcissistic relationship and 3 1/2 months out of another. I don’t see any of my family anymore. I was much more lonely when I was involved in this narcissistic abusive family than I am now all by myself. I’ve made friends with my inner child And I’m happy for the first time in my life. I’m 75 years old. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Your videos have helped me save my life.❤
I’m so happy for you. I know from experience that it is not easy to cut off family, because of the resulting repercussions. You will lose other family members and longstanding friends, but you will gain peace, relaxation and contentment.
Wishing you the very best going forward.
I have a young friend early forties about to go into her second narcissistic relationship. I’m 68 I don’t dare say anything, plus I know she’s a love addict.
Congrats! Look how strong you are! You go
So maybe there is hope for me. I’m just a few years behind you. Just recently (finally) learned the terms that now define my life, like being the scapegoat child destined to struggle with future lifelong lack of self esteem. Struggle, as you know, is an cruel understatement.
It’s a miracle that I’m still standing so I’ve decided to do the work (like you), move away from these monsters and this unhappy town, as soon as my inner child is ready to go (as soon as she can trust me that is). Meanwhile, I’m reading a book about CPTSD and plan to read Dr. Ramani’s book “It’s Not You” next. Any tips for me?
@@SherryTomlinson-r2y Sounds like she might be stuck in the “fog” of the trauma bond (ha, look at me speaking the language). It’s lovely that you care about her but without further detail I would just encourage you be there for her and listen when she needs to be seen and heard. Just don’t put yourself in danger.
It is better to be alone than surrounded by narcissistic people who don’t see you, hear you , who gaslight you , minimise you, dismiss you, insult you, triangulate you, betray you and so on. There’s an epidemic of loneliness because there’s an epidemic of Narcisism , selfishness, egocentricity, which bring about the loneliness. It’s absolutely not about the quantity of people you have around but the quality is what counts – healthy, safe , caring, loving, compassionate, respectful, trustworthy, honest, loyal individuals are extremely rare to find. And when we do, 2 or 3 such people is enough to live a happy and meaningful life, at least for an introvert like myself. Thank you dr Ramani.