The two kinds of helplessness survivors feel in narcissistic relationships
Ever feel like no matter what you do, nothing works—or that even after learning about narcissism, you still feel stuck? This video breaks down the two distinct types of helplessness survivors experience, and why both can leave you feeling paralyzed in the healing process.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
It’s exhausting to not know what to do in such situations.
True !
Yes, a narcissist like my father kept switching the rules, outcomes, and results on any given issue. The smallest of things out of place would become violent or at least a major issue. No resolution was possible, but bearing the proverbial cross on my back.
Being disabled and watching the love drain from her and seeing the impending discard coming, for me, was the epitome of helplessness.
😢
I feel helpless because I can’t stop the smear campaign against me. Everyone thinks that this person is so kind and helpful. They don’t see how much harm they have done to me. They have destroyed my reputation and relationships with people I thought loved me. I now know they never did. It’s absolutely maddening.
@ I know give it time. The narcissist has a way of putting doubt in to others minds. Some may eventually see through the narcissist some may choose not to. I believe years after my smear campaign. Some are still tight with the narcissist. Because I think it’s easier to believe the narcissist than to see the pure evil in our world.
@Rachel299 You could look at this this way, the person treating you this way is unintentionally showing you who your true real friends are.
I hope things improve for you soon.
This sounds very familiar. Now I feel like I am at the acceptance stage on some level but now I realize how stuck I feel. I feel like I have spent most of my life trying to make it work or make it better, but now that I see that I can never make it what I wish it was, I want to get out. But I feel strange, like I spent the past 30 years holding it all together, but now I don’t want any of it. I want to start over and live for me this time around. I just don’t know where or how to begin.
Now that you mention it, I do not feel so helpless. 😊
It’s been a year and a half since our daughter and I went no contact under a restraining order. She’s stayed in her lane despite all of his desperate attempts to get her attention. Monday night, he was caught on surveillance slashing her tires. I spiraled hard. But I’ve been through this enough times to recognize what it was—and to know I just have to be patient with myself. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for bringing another layer of grace and understanding to these helplessness episodes. Your voice makes the chaos feel less isolating.
Did you call the authorities since he’s caught on camera damaging property?
Are you divorcing him?
@@deconstructing7307 I don’t know if this is her daughter’s man or husband. Either way, someone needs to go to jail and we know who that is.
Wow this came at exactly the right moment as I just friend zoned someone who was showing narcissistic behaviour and after escaping an abusive long term relationship 4 months ago I definitely don’t want to go through that again. I’ve known the man for 35 years and when he calls I go running to him but I realised an hour ago I’m doing exactly what I’ve done in the past and realised the red flags this time. Yes I feel absolutely miserable for sending him a text that I’m not putting up with his behaviour and we can only be friends but think I will be stronger for it. I’m learning that I deserve more and if I am putting in 100% effort I should get the same.
So so true!! These intra-relation helplessnesses can be paired with social helplessness too where victim may find no help from family or friends to feel less helpless. Definitely, the case with me, unfortunately.
Thank you as ever to ease my struggle ❤❤
I learned the hard way now when he starts I leave him arguing with himself and close my bedroom door. He is starting to realize I don’t want to engage anymore.
Understanding the Narcissism while you’re surrounded by enablers, it’s like being alone in a desert island..
Thanks Dr. Ramani, we feel more understood 🙏
Feeling that big time. Love to you
Enablers can also aid in pulling you back in that helplessness hole.
They are the WORST about it
This video , though short is worth to reflect about . I like growing plants, so the association with the parable about the wheat and the tare on the same field came to me. The problem with narcissists is that they spend their life convincing others that they are the wheat, while being a tare. Understanding narcissistic patterns helps to navigate them, but the whole businesses still sucks. Like in the proverb. The workers see the tare in the field and they keep asking the owner- shall we remove the tare? Now, the issues multiply- the you cannot remove the tare without damaging the wheat, they have to grow together. Because of the tare, the crops will be smaller and the workers will have to labour themselves while putting the wheat and the tares apart.
But a tare is a tare and you cannot make bread out of it. It is not nourishing for humans. If you are starving and eat it you will probably get sick.
Brilliant. There is light at the end of the helplessness tunnel. BTW, I think you look great in that red top, Dr. Ramani.
It’s hurts to think of life without my man, I never imagined it would get to this point where I would let go. I know I’m not supposed to write this here but I’m gradually loosing myself and I don’t know what to do. I’m still holding unto the beautiful moments we shared and I hope that he finds happiness.
Since my 12-year relationship ended, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love. But I couldn’t just let him go, so l did everything i could to win him back. I finally went to a spiritual counselor for guidance, and he helped me win back his love
It’s fascinating! How did you locate a spiritual counselor and how can I get in touch with one most effectively?
Spiritual igwe is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is spiritual igwe, and he possesses immense powers and he’s the best spell caster to ever live
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I’m genuinely impressed.
I loved and was vulnerable with a person who repeatedly created volatile unsafe environments. Despite my many attempts at resolution, she offered no remorse, but only DARVO followed with stonewalling, scapegoated and outcasted. I learned to recognize my Grief. I deserve safety. I deserve safe love. She is not and was not a safe person for me, and this is my Radical Acceptance. Love = safety.
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I was thinking about how my mom wasn’t competitive about her art. I did it sometimes… drawing or painting but not too often. She liked seeing it. She put a little photo I drew her when I was really young in a small frame and had it in her room. I put it above my cupboards with the other knick knacks.
🙏🙏love to 😇hear from 😇your🎉positive notes🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟹𝟹𝟷𝟺𝟽𝟸𝟹𝟶𝟼𝟷 🔝!!😇happy😇 😇 ❤,!❤
This is how I felt today, didn’t feel motivated to get out of bed…but I did for myself and my kitty cats, because we matter too and deserve to enjoy our lives. ❤ Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
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I am in that 2nd phase of helplessness…It is horrible! It is because I can’t unsee it now, it’s like WTF! Coming to the reality off…Though through it I am thankful because the 1 thing I know is I am NOT Crazy!! Thank You Dr. Ramani!! 🙏🏾
🙏🙏love to 😇hear from 😇your🎉positive notes🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟹𝟹𝟷𝟺𝟽𝟸𝟹𝟶𝟼𝟷 🔝!!😇happy😇 😇 ❤,!❤
Yes, yes , yes. I am in stage two. Helpless, lonely and sad. I never thought I could end up in such a mess, but I am understanding the process and slowly feeling that I am not crazy. It is the toughest life experience I have had to endure. It is so cruel and heart breaking. For me it’s torture and so unseen by others. You can kill someone without a weapon! Please could you tell me/us why this type of relationship is so deadly for the body and soul. ❤
🙏🙏love to 😇hear from 😇your🎉positive notes🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟹𝟹𝟷𝟺𝟽𝟸𝟹𝟶𝟼𝟷 🔝!!😇happy😇 😇 ❤,!❤
I’m going through a heartbreak at the moment and i feel my life is over and depressed, its not easy loosing someone you love dearly. I feel so much pains right now and wish to have my love back
Heartbreak is always painful and depressed and i also go through a terrible heartbreak 3yrs ago and a friend introduce me to a spiritual counselor who helped me to reconcile with my lover and we are happily living together now
Oh, really? Can this person help me to get my partner back?
Absolutely, Father Osoba Salama is the spiritual counselor who can help you get your ex back
I curiously make a research online with the name and found his website, thanks
🙏🙏love to 😇hear from 😇your🎉positive notes🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟹𝟹𝟷𝟺𝟽𝟸𝟹𝟶𝟼𝟷 🔝!!😇happy😇 😇 ❤,!❤