The VERY different reasons narcissists and survivors CARE what other people think
Narcissistic people and survivors of emotionally abusive relationships can both seem preoccupied with what others think—but for completely different reasons. In this video, Dr. Ramani unpacks why narcissists crave approval yet resent their own vulnerability, and why survivors often monitor others’ opinions as a form of safety and self-protection. If you’ve ever wondered why you care so much—and why it feels so different depending on who you’re dealing with—this will help you see the pattern clearly.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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Because we live in a weird world narcissists live in the same world as us.
Narcissists want us to say you’re so great
Narcissists are driven by the need for admiration while their victims are driven by the need for safety.
The narcissist is crazy.I don’t care what he thinks. And I definitely don’t think it’s my fault because he’s crazy. I only worry that I won’t trust people in the future based on the crazy
I’m almost finished with your book, love it.
“Enduring abuse is not love” … that sentence screams in my head.
Isn’t THAT the truth!
@misottovocethe bitter one
For us, survivors, it’s all about safety and attachmemt! 100%
They may “care” what other people think but they never care about how you “feel”. Thus the “I’m sorry you feel that way” sentence you get from them when you complain about their behavior.
VERY well said.
So true!
@malindarayallen thanks 🙂
That’s an incredible one!
I’m crying. Again.
“What other people think of me is none of my business” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I have always felt this way in my adulthood. My narc ex boyfriend was always concerned with what everyone thought of him/us and I never understood why. Deep insecurity
Narcissists want to be rewarded for everything. Survivors just want not to be punished for existing – that alone is a reward in itself lol.
So true !
Well said!
My sister would hijack family groups chats with filtered selfies and would even put “omg look at how cute i am today” with s selfie when it was a family members birthday and we all wished happy bday. Its so weird. She then went off and made social media pages to talk about how morbidly obese she is but is now getting weight loss surgery and how she was so brave to do it. Just really weird stuff.
“Enduring abuse is not love”
Some do things because they care for others. Some do things because they care what others will think of them. ❤
Yes that is the ultimate difference
Also want to add narcissist thinks there is nothing wrong with them.They think they are good people .
No they don’t. They know what that do. That’s why they fear more than anything that they’ll be exposed for who they really are. That’s why they smear their victims to the outside world when the victim has started to see them.
@christymckee8133I disagree because my mother never felt like that she used being a bully and a victim to her advantage
Their subconscious mind knows.
It’s so important for self esteem not to care what others think and to stand on your own which is what narcs can’t do
I cried so much listening to this, I have never felt more heard and seen. It’s been almost 4 months since I fled from a narcissistic relationship, I am so grateful that I discovered your book “It’s Not You”, which helped me immensely during that initial stage. Also for other survivors out there another good read is a booker called “Fawning”. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the work you do ❤️
You nailed Dr Ramani! Trying trying trying my whole life! Safe has been my lifelong goal!
Been so terrified the narcissist was me. This video cleared that fear up. Thank you.