THIS makes narcissists furious

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @BC-ev4hl says:

    they’re already furious

  • @DavidWhitehead-y7x says:

    Oh my gosh. This is so on point.

  • @annjohnson8437 says:

    My narcissistic husband just had a big meltdown because I was humming an upbeat song (that he didn’t recognize) and acting happy. Apparently, I’m supposed to do the house chores with a scowl.

  • @kathysanborn4595 says:

    This is totally true. I have been in the process of becoming me again without his control since I first started listening to you Dr. Ramani. Once I started realizing his games he plays, ie: gaslighting, name calling, playing victim, doing things to set me up like misplacing things and then telling others I’m loosing it and forgetting things, when it’s him that is actually having issues, I can’t thank you enough Dr. Ramani for teaching me I’m not alone and for your videos. I can’t afford a therapist and your videos have awaken me up and made me realize “it isn’t me”. It’s him. He’s an angry person because he can’t control me. ❤ ❤

  • @ThePuppin says:

    They don’t like when you have something nice to say about other people, or feel good about yourself

  • @gulcan132 says:

    Narcissistic people are just nothing to me now, after growing up with a dark triad (happens to be my older brother). Narcissistic people are still human in my eyes when I think about that person.
    He systematically installed a self-destructive, self-belittling software in my mind, after sexually abusing me in my childhood. He is pure evil. Narcissism is still workable, but the lasting effects of his abuse still linger on me, no matter what I do. What do I do, Ramani? I did years of therapy, writing exercises, telling the voice to shut up over and over again. These mostly helped but it is almost cancerous, I cannot get rid of it, please, help me.

  • @chiangmaionthecheap777 says:

    I have intellect, personality and authenticity.

  • @suemartin9543 says:

    That is such a powerful analysis of coming out of fawning. Thank you!

  • @kerryurech6778 says:

    This is fascinating. I see parallels to growing up with an alcoholic mother.

  • @JJ-sl4tx says:

    “Real love is safe”. And a narcissistic relationship is simply not corresponding to this definition. I’m happy to begin to really understand this very simple thing, after decades of wandering.

  • @Behindblueeyes-r2u says:

    This is a helpful way to understand what is happening underneath the surface. Thank you

  • @pengguoyu4614 says:

    Narcissists gaslight others when told the truth

  • @lavalleezee says:

    DR. RAMANI: I have watched almost ALL of your vids, probably all thousand. And this vid is one of the Best ( top 3)…esp. RE the Fawn Response. THANK YOU. —JL

  • @janeloraine6231 says:

    I felt today’s message deep inside. Core belief just nudged toward radical acceptance? Ouch! This has never been about being good, enough, perfect… it’s always been about being loved and being safe, and it was never either of those. Thank you Ramani.❤️

  • @glitternacht says:

    40:56 OMG so true. And it’s a beautiful day. Thank you Dr. Ramini! ❤

  • @cr8zystar282 says:

    Babysitting someone’s shame! That was deep!! 😢 🤔

  • @SpiritWind777 says:

    Wow. This broke open the fawning and achieving and never feeling good enough for me.

  • @c.gibbons-spackman8166 says:

    You nailed it! This video is one of your best! The walking on eggshells, any talking is contorted or intentionally misunderstood and NEVER ask them for forgiveness!!!! I fought to KEEP my authentic self. Hardest fight of my life against my son & his narcissistic gf!!! The list of triggers a narcissistic person will use against you is irrational and unbalanced. I still miss my grand daughter with all my heart.

  • @TracE5.4 says:

    My fawning is so reflexive🤦‍♀️ Since recognizing gaslighting and narcissism, I find myself flipping between fawning and fighting. This is a pattern I can now recognize throughout my life. Always hypervigilant, I either fawned and strove for perfection, or I became self-destructed and aggressively defiant. I never realized how strong my authentic self was. Years of asking for advice and being told I was over imaginative and misunderstanding, had me ignoring my instincts.

  • @Delali-p7y says:

    Usually, by the time you learn the person is a “covert narcissist”, you have already ‘dealt’ with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a ‘covert narcissist’ just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don’t that sound easy.

    The better question is how do you STOP ‘dealing with’ a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The ‘best way’ to ‘deal with a covert narcissist’ is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them.

    If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No “hi, how are you doing”, no “hi, I wish I had time to talk to you”, no “hi, it’s nice to see you” — just “hi, hope you’re doing well, I’ve got to run” or just “hi” and keep walking.

    If at all possible, avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a ‘flying monkey’ can observe you or listen to you. ‘Flying monkeys’ are the narcissist’s ‘possessions’. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist ‘owns’ is considered the same as ‘dealing with’ or interacting with the narcissist. The more you ‘deal with’ a covert narcissist, the more you will have to ‘deal with’.

    Do not ‘run’ from a covert narcissist unless you can ‘run’ totally away from them. When you ‘run’ from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you ‘run’.

    Once you ‘learn’ the person is a ‘covert narcissist’, you have to ‘learn’ to either ‘covertly’ avoid the hell out of them or ‘overtly’ have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to ‘deal with’ them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever “dealt with” one and they’ll tell you it’s one of hardest things they’ve ever ‘dealt with’.

    And if your gut is screaming that they’ve been cheating, lying, or still manipulating in the background — don’t second-guess your instincts. Get quiet proof. Send a discreet request to digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for confidential help catching a cheating narcissist.

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