Trying to MEET NEW PEOPLE while healing from a narcissistic relationship
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you for all you do Dr!!!
I don’t bother with people anymore
This is how I feel. It’s extremely challenging to trust people, make friendships and start a new relationship. When I sense something is off with people I run.
Same here. It’s so difficult!
Me either.
Have you ever considered that you might be more intuitive than you give yourself credit for? I wish you every happiness.
@@01splitpea could be 😊
I never know if/when to disclose what I have experienced when with a potential friend. Part of me wants understanding and tolerance from them yet I fear oversharing and being labelled ‘damaged goods’. I know my past has scarred me but I try to fake it and ‘act normal’ but I don’t think I will ever achieve it due to the abuse I suffered. So I content myself with casual acquaintances and never let relationships go beyond that.
This is where I am. I want to meet new people BUT I don’t want to invest any energy into a “possible” narcissistic person. I know that I never want to marry or live with someone again. It took way too long and too much energy to move.
Exactly! Don’t want to be on another s schedule. Don’t want expectations placed on me. I don’t think I have an idea of what a healthy relationship looks like? Seems the more you put in the worse it ends up in the two marriages are any indication. Is this how you feel too?
I have tried to meet new friends, but it’s exhausting. I go to meetups and networking events, but I don’t feel like investing in anyone new is worth my time. So many people are broken and looking for someone to use and siphon resources from. I prefer being alone and doing my own thing. I’m okay with an aquaintance but nothing more.
And so many meetups happen in bars and I don’t drink. It feels really isolating
Same. I enjoy solitude.
I can relate to this.
Bazingha! How much TIME can you spend vetting people, for common decency! And it’s not that you’re some judge on high either. Just decent people!
the perfect timing blows me away
I’m so used to the rug being pulled out from under me. It’s so hard to be happy because that’s when everything falls apart. Thank You ❤
Remember Narcs Love Bomb and are on their best behavior treating you well and telling you what you want to hear till you’re guard is down……when you’re feeling relaxed and happy. Just take your time keep learning. Beat wishes.
Waiting for the other shoe to fall I get this.
I needed this video today. I was literally sitting down and thinking to myself what’s wrong with me. Something isnoff and I couldn’t ut my finger on it. Thanks for this information!
I’m not really scared of meeting toxic people now that I’m well-educated and trusting myself more. I’m more disillusioned with people after my trauma. It wasn’t just about an ex-partner but also therapists, who retraumatised me, friends who didn’t care and family who proved neglectful and toxic in their own way. So it’s more about seeing the world as it is once you gain your discernment and losing your naivetee. Yes, there are good, kind people out there but they’re a minority.
Exactly how I see it!
Now that I see the word for what it really is – its time to lean back and enjoy watching the world destroy itself!
@@jacobeickhardt84😂😂😂 yep!
Totally resonates with me…all that you have said..
With me, I had to go back to the trauma from childhood and accepting, processing how my family of origin had manipulated me and I went with the flow thinking it will be fine. Thanks to this community, the support has been my true strength and healer…
After days of getting triggered and suffering setbacks, i forged on knowing that stepping back is just not an option..I am SO grateful as I see the world in a much clearer light, and while I have lost a lot of nativity, I still have retained my sense of wonder about life in general.
“I’m not really scared of meeting toxic people now that I’m well-educated and trusting myself more”
The stupidity, the ignorance, the arrogance.
You will CERTAINLY get in trouble again.
I have decided NOT to have another relationship. Period. I’m done with toxic men forever.
Heck, it’s hard to find friends, girls.
My last one is the last one. She got me good.
oof harsh. I understand the sentiment, really I do, but aren’t you denying yourself a lot of the good stuff in life?
same here
Same
I recently had a meet-and-greet with a potential new friend. I made a mistake, took accountability for it, and asked if we could start over, but I haven’t heard back since. I’m so used to friends either leaving abruptly or betraying me. Watching this video, I’ve been crying because my last goal is to find genuine friends and a real, mature partner.
well done! The hard lesson here is that they do get to decide if they want to give you that chance or not. Their decision doesn’t say anything about you and your worth. Their decision is theirs, and it speaks to their character and their frame of mind.
Their decision doesn’t change your actions, which is what speaks to your character. It’s hard in the wake of this to keep the two separated.
@@TheXtrafresh While true, after a lifetime of being abandoned by people, it tends to reinforce negative core beliefs when something like this happens. Ultimately, this new person was not going to help healing, and it was good that they found out early on.
We must remember Narscissts Love Bomb, are on their best behavior, they tell their Targets what they want to hear and treat them very well till they let down their guard. Just take your time and don’t be always available for when they want to see you. Pay attention to their vibe and how they treat people they see as lower than themselves. Don’t talk about abuses that happened in the past, talk about personal interests……if they’re mirroring you….they love everything you do, that’s a red flag.
Very well said….ive been through this many times
The problem is most people look normal, until you get to know them. As a kid it was easier to make friends. As an adult after going through abuse, making friends turns into a job interview. They should fill out an application and ask for a resume. 😅😂
Same. I have a lot of screening processes to make a friend. 😁
Exactly.
Thank you Doctor! When I found out the way I was being treated was a “thing” and I studied that – then I connected my gift for discernment with the knowledge of Narcissism and it took off. Now I feel most of the time I know who is like this and who is not! I appreciate this gift God gave me at birth. Now it is finally being used at 100% capacity!
It doesn’t matter whether a new acquaintance is a narcissist or not. If they repeat some unhealthy patterns, I walk away.
🚶♂💨🚩
I started a group and my gut was telling me every complaint this woman had about her husband was a lie. It’s crazy but she tuned into me with a 6th sense 😮she knew I knew. I quit the group .
I get this. I’m just at a point where I don’t have the energy to invest, only to discover the patterns and red flags.
@@SherryTomlinson-r2yinteresting…..I’m seeing also….they do sense you know something
I‘m totally in this phase right now. The last two years was so much about drastically cutting off toxic people in my life and practicing discernment with people who demonstrate too many red flags. It‘s been very lonely and I deeply crave healthy authentic relationships but the resistance I feel towards people is real…
Same 😏
So relatable
Me too….. I thought I was nurturing a friendship & now I realize she has narc traits big time……it only took a few yrs for me to see which is improvement
It’s been almost three years since I found out about narcissism. I’ve withdrawn from social life, and I’m still terrified of including new people in my life. I’ve maintained a few solid relationships, but I’m slow about making new connections. I loved the video! ❤
After loosing yet another friendship with an Avoidant, I’m so tired. I’m an extrovert, but after being raised by a narcissistic family and being surrounded by narc relationships all my life, I have zero confidence in my own ability to pick out healthy people. I want to start over, but I don’t trust people anymore. Thank you for addressing this very real concern!
Not without seven references, a blood test, a financial statement, a full psychological assessment and the official seal of the Pope.
This made me smile. Thank you 💞
LOL! I actually met a friend who introduced me to one of her friends, and that friend’s dog bit me. I asked for a Rabies certificate for the dog. They reluctantly gave it to me. I should have noted that reluctance and dropped those friendships. It turned out it was a red flag. So, I say, yes, get the paperwork!
😂😂😂
Hahaha! Right??? I get it!!
After going through multiple rounds of hurt and betrayal, meeting new people is anxiety-inducing.