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Don’t expect anyone to understand or validate what you went through. Don’t expect the narcissist to care. And don’t expect anyone to be there to assist you along your healing journey. But be grateful that we have these online communities. We’re all in this together.
Yes, if I listened, to the people who were enablers or who just didn’t understand, wittingly or not, in the short few years I’ve had to deal with the brunt of my family’s narcissism, I’d be dead and I know it. And those people would simply feel, “Well, yes, that may be the cost of helping your mom. Good riddance.” I am sooo glad, that when things started becoming ridiculous and I had epiphanies about how ridiculous, predatory and abusive, it had actually been, for a long time, I turned to the internet and YT. The sad thing is that, now that I’ve left my family and my mother has passed, I know there are people who feel, “Shoulda been you, instead. Doesn’t matter what she was doing to you.” But, I’ve become rather accustomed to the fact that most people live in darkness regarding this topic.
My psychopath neighbors are so nasty that I’m surprisingly getting quite a bit of support. But this is not a personal relationship. I barely know these creeps and the sons 12 and 14 were reporting to me all kinds of covert abuse last year. I got threatened so bad I got a protection order from the court, I’m putting up a 6 foot fence,cameras ,self defense, and surprisingly people seem to actually get it. But again,this is a neighbor not a family or spouse. I’m going to throw a lawsuit at these creeps. Cost me $5g this summer just to feel kinda safe. And I’ll be so relieved when the fence is done.😮😮😢 Psychopaths!!!!!
@@Andrea-HeIsKing my situation is a bit similar, with a former sibling living just doors away, who doesn’t care about law enforcement and the court and who feels her house and my house are hers, one and the same. I think she just feels she’s kicking me off “her” property. Security cams up (caught stealing mail), broke in and changed the lock. I hope she works her way into jail and she’s certainly tried, with SS theft.
So true!
“After throwing up in your mouth…” yes Dr. Ramani! That literally made me lol! Thanks for that belly laugh.
After Being Horribly Abused Emotionally And Psychologically By A Malignant Narcissist
I’m Dealing With 1/. Overwhelming Of Sadness 2// Very Low Self Worth Self Confidence Self Esteem.
3/ Feelings Of Loneliness.4/. Severe Anxiety Panic Attacks Being Extremely Paranoid..Completely Isolating MySelf This Person Has Destroyed My Life,
Same here but with both of my parents, I’m trying to rebuild my life at 45, stay strong, hugs from Argentina
I’m currently in your boat right now but, I’m still in the relationship because I have nowhere to go with 3 dogs and I can’t find it in my heart to rehome them. All I’m doing in recording the verbal abuse until I can afford an attorney.
I hear you. It seems that some people are feeling so miserable themselves, that the sole purpose of their existence is to make others feel as miserable as they do. Which is quite sad actually.
@@SylPaperworks Thank You For Sharing This You Are Absolutely Right
So sorry, but know you are not alone.
I am so grateful I left & started the 2nd half of my life over. Every morning I watch the sun come up over my woods (bought a 10 acre farn 2100 miles away) I feel so wonderful & happy & have a peace I never experienced in life ever before. My life makes me happy, I don’t need someone in my life to make me happy (my crazy animals are all I need)
I have also learned how to love myself. I no longer feel like I need someone in my life.
Her abuse eventually lead me to a spiritual awakening.
I’ve also changed my life drastically.
God bless you,
And your crazy animals
Envious of your beautiful woods. What peace that must bring you!! Good for you!!❤
grateful for people like you! please never stop doing what you do! it’s helpful in so many ways & more than ever before people need to hear people like you because so many people may be manipulated without them knowing a thing & it is so much better moving on from people & stuff that’s not good for anyone
“Patience is a virtue” was intended to help the narcissist to buy time so they can get away with their BS.
Right, humility as well. It only benefits them.
Sometimes patience *is* a virtue. But not here.
My narcissistic sister has never wanted to hear my feelings unless I was tearing the man in my life down. She triangulated my entire family of origin against me 20+ years ago. I didn’t understand what was happening until early 2023 thanks to YouTube doctors. But I did something right a few years ago she was hoovering, acting like nothing ever happened. She stated not wanting to blame but live peacefully in gratitude. I replied that I thought that was a great idea and that we could do that quite well completely independently of each other. And I meant it.
“Patience is a scam.” Luv it
It’s a kind of future fake. And maybe a breadcrumbing, too.
Like praying for your enemies or forgive everyone. I’m not going to pray for my enemies and I don’t have to forgive everyone to move on with my life.
@@rcatablet2984 So true.
Compassion for self when I finally get angry or yell: I WAS exposed to FREQUENT anger and terrible yelling and screaming several times a week throughout my growing-up years. Thanks for that reminder. Makes me cry.
I can finally enjoy being grateful and appreciative of things in “my own way”! The ex used to criticize and demean me for not broadcasting my gratefulness for him to hear. I felt I was expected to list off moments of gratitude I felt throughout the day just so he could judge the things I should and should not be grateful for, and criticize me for things he think weren’t “right”. I was expected to see the world exactly as he did, or else I was wrong and/or crazy. I tried explaining to him that gratitude is a feeling and doesn’t have to be shared in order to “prove” it exists, or that I felt/feel it. 🤦🏼♀️
“You should be GRATEFUL!”
@@kathleenferguson3296 most definitely I am!
One of the finest combinations of videos. Worth watching a second time.
I will whisper my gratitude because I don’t want the devil to hear me. Ty Dr. Ramani and group.
In high school I told my best friend about how my dad treated me. She responded, “Well at least he isn’t beating you.” What a low standard for behavior.
I live in my car now as a senior with my husky dog of 12 years but I do look at the ravens who come up to visit and I feed them. The birds that gather my dogs hair off the grass and fly off to build nests. I’m grateful the sun is shining today as I drive through the mountains. I’m grateful I’ve survived excessive heat with no air conditioning in my car for me and my dog. I’m grateful winter isn’t here yet as I will have no heat. I’m grateful for nature and the beauty so many ppl don’t see as life is so stressful for them rushing here and there to pay for all the things they have. Mortgages, Car and Boat payments etc etc. think you for this video because yes some days I just look at the beauty I’m surrounded by when I want to cry for a home I don’t have.
Love your courage and your perspective! Stay strong
I feel you. We never expect some the most horrific things to happen to us. Our animals are God sent
It is such a service how Dr Ramani keeps reminding us of the web of ways we blame the victim. Including self blame. When we blame the victim we do not have to help them, and victims know not to ask for anything or they’ll be punished. These days the stakes are super high. Some kinds of narcissistic abuse will leave victims unhoused and destitute with no way to survive. There are no services available. We can’t “gratitude” our way out of that.
It’s nice and neat to blame the victim. No one has to change…except the victim.
Absolutely I’m suppose to forgive now that I have nothing left. Yet I am still happy for my children. What I’ve learned is if something really good came my way my lips are sealed. Don’t tell anyone what your plans are.
Love to listen to your voice. It calms my nerv. This voice has been my safe place for the last 3 years. The only person I can trust 100%, without doubt. First time at my 49 years of age I’m learning to put my self first, all thanks to you Dr. Ramani. Learning a lots of other incredible things here. Feels great. So thankful.
I wish my mother could speak English as well as Dr. Ramani even though she speaks well anyway.
This was drilled into my head “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man without a foot.” What horrible saying this keeps you in a loop of never complaining about how horribly I was treated. It’s forced silence and lying about how having to suck it up.
Attitude is everything lol
everything is one-sided in the relationship – it feeds your sense of no worth – finally was discarded after 13 years – thankful for this now!
Wow! In tears. Met him at 20… I’m now 50yrs old next month and still fighting with him through AN UGLY DIVORCE! He stole my entire adulthood with his future faking promises that proved empty!
He definitely sought me out from the start because I tend to be understanding, kind, loving, etc.
Were Christian’s and I was fed scriptures similar to this proverb to remind me I needed to pray more. Not to look at the spec in his eye without looking at the log in my own (that’s a scripture) This manipulative enabling the church did with scriptures that mirror the concept of this proverb is APPALLING! I was told of go to hell if I wasn’t a faithful loyal “submissive” and gentle woman.
Dr Ramani your response was PERFECT! “Bullllshittttttt”
No other response needed! God I love you!