What does LOVE have to do with narcissistic relationships?
If you’ve ever wondered, “What does love even mean after everything I’ve been through?” — you are not alone. On Sunday, April 5 at 1pm PT / 4pm ET in my Healing Program, we’ll be exploring love in all its forms, how it gets distorted in narcissistic relationships, and what it can look like as you heal. Click the link below to become a member and join this powerful conversation.
50% off your first month with code AP50 at checkout
Sign up here:
Narcissists say I love you to gather narcissistic supply for themselves. Cause when we first meet narcissists they are confident caring loving but as sometimes we are lonely and need people to be their behind us. Narcissists disappoint us when we are a use to them.
Lots of people don’t understand what real betrayal or narcissistic abuse. Many people have loving parents or siblings but are 🆕 to the world of narcissists.
“If you love me then you would let me…”
Yes!!! I have heard that one so many times…
The line I don’t know what love feels like anymore is a perfect example of narcissistic survivors statement
💯
I will never never believe a person who tells me they “love” me . If their actions do not show it I ignore their words.
If LOVE = POSITIVE PERSONAL GROWTH, than it’s NEVER gonna happen in the Narci dynamic!
It’s, “what you see is what you get!”. Dr Ramani’s EXCELLENT teachings on Radical Acceptance nudged me from VICTIM to SURVIVOR…Please don’t stay stuck as VICTIM 🙏
Now after 36yrs of emotional abuse from my Vulnerable Narci wife of 36yrs I am a SURVIVOR. I discovered self Love and more genuine Loving relationships.
The only change that happens is aging brings an increase in negative and vitriolic abuse…
Peace Be With You on your journey to SURVIVOR MOUNTAIN. The climb is tough but the view is amazing.
SEE YOU AT THE TOP 🎉❤🎉
History together makes shallow selfish fake love seem more deep & meaningful than it really was on their side.
In early childhood, love was a word I only heard on TV. Viewing physical affection was also limited to TV. I had been touched sexually by family starting at 7, so I developed a distrust/confusion around all physical touch. Love meant allowing others to take what they wanted without complaint.
I was severely beaten by my brother. My mother scolded ME, saying we were family and family doesn’t tell on each other. I learned that loyalty and love were associated with my silence.
As I grew, we joined the church & I was fully indoctrinated, having been primed for obedience since birth. I was isolated from the outside world because my church taught that if I entertained secular relationships, I was opening the door for the devil. That church became an extension of my family. I learned the biblical definition of love and realized it was all foreign to me. When my prayers to God to stop the abuse went unanswered, my church leaders told me my faith wasn’t strong enough. I learned that my suffering was a divine sacrifice.
As an adult, I’ve spent half my life in a relationship with someone who makes me feel invisible, except when I’m needed as a cheerleader/friend/trophy wife. “I love you” and “I’m sorry” get tossed around like popcorn in a home that feels vacant and hollow.
I lost all faith in humans and their fickle ideas of love. I get heart palpitations when I receive a gift. Everything that was once life’s sweetest promise (wrapped up in the idea of love) has become a mocking giant. Words and ideas used to be solid, sacred things to me. Who knows what *anything* means anymore.
Not words my parents ever used
They don’t love you, they love what you provide.
In my case my great benefits and steady job… I have it all, he has nothing stable. I am so much stronger now… won’t let that happen again.
Yep. My mother doesn’t love me. She wants an orbit of enablers.
She said I love you constantly. I believed her. Finally I figured she had no idea what it was. Like a fish knows what a bicycle does.
At this point, I don’t believe they can love, let alone understand it.
My ex-husband said he loved me often and I always doubted he did. My mother only said she loved me once but I never doubted that she did. My current husband says it all the time and I know he does. Love for me, is not determined by what they say but by what they do. It’s not about whether they’ve made mistakes. I’ve made some too. It’s that the kindness, sharing, help, support, hugs and kisses, and all the good things that come with a loving relationship outweigh by a longshot the handful of mistakes that were made.
Every time my wife calls me, babe, I’m thinking, oh, what the heck did I do?… Or what the heck does she want?
What’s love got to do with it !
Tina Turner
An old high school flame looked me up after 45 years. He’s been married for 42 of those. He professed his undying love for me, knowing I don’t feel the same and would not help him betray his wife. You can probably piece the rest together. The manipulation, the guilt tripping, the crocodile tears (his). I haven’t had contact with him since Halloween except for his final messaging attempt with “I could die tomorrow…” and a cutesy love forever meme that I never acknowledged. In that message he also said, “I hope you learn to trust someone again.” After showing the nostalgic and private exchanges to his sister.
I used to believe what I felt was an emotional welling up of love, now I understand that it is a welling up of overwhelming grief. Those tears, lump in my throat and tightness in my chest are the overwhelming feeling of grief from not feeling seen, heard or valued.
I never knew what love really was until I fell in love with someone who rarely if ever says I love you, but shows it every single day.
Meanwhile, over 20 years of my life have been spent placating people who want nothing more than to make me miserable. It’s no wonder then that I devote time every single night, no matter how tired I am, to my partner.
Love is an action. It won’t automatically forgive, forgiveness has an action as well. I learned that the fruits of the Spirit all have actions linked to the fruit.
They say they “Love” you because they are hoping you will Drop your Guard. They are trying to win your trust but for them it is All about Power, and Control.!