What Every Narcissist Expects (But Won’t Say Out Loud)
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I learn a lot from listening to you. Narcissists feel insecure about themselves.
Alissa White Glutz, john fritz, schoch Ronda Lewis etc
The narcissist’s test is their way of testing you to see if you still stick around even if they mistreat you. They want to see how much mistreatment you’ll tolerate and the less you allow, the safer you’ll be. Thats why it is key to protect your boundaries as your self-respect is more important than staying in a toxic relationship.
They refuse to be in a respectful relationship with you and even then it’s just a matter of time before they start testing again.
Yes, it is true.
EXACTLY
Thank you, as always, for your wisdom.
I keep telling myself “don’t hold a grudge.” But after all these years of abuse, it is just me now.
Maybe it’s not a grudge, but a “lesson learned”. People will conflate the two in order to keep you ensnared in their nonsense.
It’s hard not ‘holding a grudge’ because they never take accountability. I’m trying to let my grudge go and just keep the life lessons I learned. I’m tired of it weighing me down, but it’s a journey!
The narcissist will accuse the scapegoat of holding a grudge if the scapegoat distances themselves for protection. The scapegoat that has learned how narcissism functions knows the dynamic will never change and has chosen peace over narcissistic drama and abuse. The scapegoat “holding a grudge” will be part of the smear campaign from the narcissist. For me, anyone parroting the narcissist’s talking points is also cut off.
So hard to admit, at 5:08, they know what they are doing is wrong, after years of hoping it might be … something else .
I just left my 10 year relationship. You and Mel Robbins have helped me discover the truth of what is going on!! It has literally set me free. I will continue therapy with a therapist that has experience with narcissistic relationships because I recognize this is a journey and healing takes time. The 2 books on my counter all the time are “It’s Not You” and “Let Them” and yes, they are both read and being devoured daily. I have 5 adult children, there have been a few marriages and the patterns are ALL the same…….trauma bonding!! It is no way to live and I much prefer getting to know ME and figure out what I love. Spending oodles of time with my awesome kids and sweet grandbabies. The future is so much brighter and I am sooooo thankful for the time and experience you share with us. Your time and insight are more valuable than you will ever truly know💕💕❤️
I filed last month after 2 years of marriage, and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I didn’t have the language to characterize it as abuse, but I told my husband all the time that he needed a robot.
See that bad incident or experience in your memory clearly. Set it, like a certificate on the shelf or as a framed wall hanging. Look at it every once in a while to remember your achievement of getting through that time /person/experience in your life. It’s okay to not forget it. In fact you should not forget that evidence of your good character and achievement
They are jealous, they feel they deserve more from many levels.
Sono anche SUPERBI e invidiosi.
They are incredibly entitled.
15:23 ‘Perfectionism’
This is so true! Where can they go from perfect? Who can continue to hold them up. They can’t do wrong, then they say they’re being mistreated.
I was accused of talking bad about my abuser because I was finally telling the truth or people accused me of not moving on because I chose to share my story. It’s those kinds of comments that cause victims further harm because they’ve often spent years (in my case my childhood and 23 year marriage) not having a voice.
❤
Oh gawd…. I know that place. xxxx People don’t like the truth sometimes, they just want Disney. LOL They NEVER say, you seem like you need to talk…. I’m here to listen. You’re always on your own unless you pay for counselling is my experience. God bless. xxx
Perfection is a prescription for failure.
While I did NOT call them a narcissist, I DID ask them to remove me from a thread where my voice was ignored/devalued/lectured against……. They went into a panic and eventually got one of their flying monkeys to attack me, the bottom line was they wanted me to SHUT UP and only listen to them. I was 5 years ahead of them in the area of conversation we were having, so I saw right through what was going on. I’ve been in counseling for nearly 30 years….. I recognized the tactic from recovery circles. We are NO CONTACT and I am FIRM on it Not interested in being their “yes” woman…
Unsubscribing because I feel that I have healed enough to focus on the positive things going on in my life now. Two years post-no-contact and I feel like I’m finally discovering myself and what I like to do, how I want to live. Thank you to you and the other quality therapists on YT who have been a tremendous help over the years, for putting a name to what was “wrong” with me. I might pop in from time to time for a bit of maintenance, but I feel that I have integrated these teachings and am starting to live my best life. Thank you Dr. Ramani!
This is how deep I was in it: My narcissistic ex bff was raging mad & screaming at me that I didn’t go to the hospital or come over to check on her son after he broke his arm. I told her “but I didn’t even know, you never told me that happened” she replied “I posted it on MySpace so you would’ve known if you really cared”. She also knew I wasn’t on social media very much. It was just a test & THAT was when I STARTED to realize the relationship wasn’t healthy for me. It was like being in a cult🤯
Thank God for my therapist who helped guide me out of that toxic mess, I couldn’t have done it on my own.
Happy you escaped!
That testing was an everyday occurrence with my mother and the rage when you answered wrong…
Thank you because she wrote to me again and I almost broke but you reminded me why I stayed away
Thank you Dr Ramani! You are our hero!! 😊 In one of your videos, you did share an advice, I’ll never forget . Don’t share your accomplishments unless you win a nobel prize! 😊
Yes. End it. Set boundaries and focus on loving yourself. You deserve better. Disrespect is not love.
Your videos has helped me so much. Thank YOU!
I no longer feel “guilty” by not giving an ounce of thought or energy to my narcissistic brother and father. Feels AWESOME !
Gem of a video. I was in a beautiful marriage. before my now ex wife left me, I still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don’t know why i am bring this here for. i cant stop thinking about her
I was in a similar situation my husband for 15 years left me. i couldn’t just let him go i did all i could to get him back. i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back
wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her/him?
Her name is Gabriela Blanca Lopez, and she is a great spiritual adviser.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. incredible..