What FX’s The Bear Teaches Us About Surviving Narcissistic Abuse
On the surface, The Bear is about food, family, and a high-pressure kitchen—but underneath, it’s a story many survivors will recognize. Carmy’s journey reflects what happens when you grow up in a narcissistic or emotionally abusive system: you survive by doing, not by being. In this video, Dr. Ramani unpacks the deeper survivor message in The Bear—and why it matters for anyone healing from narcissistic abuse.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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I started watching “The Bear” awhile ago but couldn’t keep it up. There was too much drama and acrimony for me. After going through that with my last marriage, I just can’t handle that right now. I understand it’s a great show and has won many awards. Maybe I can pick it back up if and when I’m finally healed.
Omg same for me!! I’m currently in a narcissistic relationship.. with my husband.. but he’s not the only one in my life, shocker. (Dad is one, brothers, and potentially my mom too 🙁 so not surprising for my husband to turn out to be one, since that’s what I grew up around.) anyway, my husband is obsessed with this show.. and has been dying for me to watch it. I’ve started it like 3 times now, getting a few episodes through.. or maybe it was just one episode through, but felt like a bunch 😅 yeah, idk what it is ab it, but i seriously cannot get into it. I feel like it’s a situation similar to yours. I do want to try it again one day too.
@@sofiejunk Good to hear I’m not alone in that. Best wishes!
You’re not the only one. It is impossible for me to watch it.
Isn’t that the truth!!?? After a lifetime of conflict …I shutdown still and have come to the conclusion that high competition is maybe good for the Roman troops but is harmful to me !!! Keeping my peace at all cost except fo r falling boundaries!!!😂😂😂
@@silviatagle5120 thanks!
Appreciated hearing this. Thank you 🧡 Dr Ramini!
I became a work alcoholic. I ended up in an alcohol treatment center when I was at the top of my game. I had time to think. I knew then that if a person keeps drinking they will end up in one of three places – the morgue, the nut house or jail. I thought if I can keep drinking and be found dead in a day, week or year and people said “I didn’t know Mary was still drinking” I would have done it. I knew me though and I knew that I would end up in the nut house or jail before the morgue so I stopped drinking. Unfortunately there wasn’t a Dr. Ramani back then so while I stopped drinking the pain and patterns continued. Thank God for pioneers like Dr. R, counselors that get it and have the courage to speak the truth. I finally understand what I was up against.
I love love the show❤❤🤗…. it’s so relatable @1:02 That’s right! An excellent survivor message. It is an amazing show.
Thank you💓🌷Dr Ramani for saving my life again and again…..I’ve gone from self loss, suicidal to clarity, true self and I’m at peace..You are a God sent❤❤🙏🏾
Dr Ramani, always appreciate your perspective. Thanks for making this.
The message you got from the show is NOT what a lot of the general public got. A lot of people thought this season was great because of the redemption arc: because Carmy and his mom “made up/reconciled.”
I personally thought the apology was garbage, and that the forced redemption storylines at the wedding and at the apology were really harmful.
I had conversations with friends about how they reacted to the holiday scene where the mom is trying to make dinner. I was so stressed out, I felt like I was trapped at the table. One friend said she had to turn it off, but then all she did was think about it for the next couple days, so she finished it. The show is so raw. I love it. Thank you for talking about it!
Okay, bye! I’ve seen the first couple of seasons and need to catch up!
I love you, Dr. Ramani. ❤ Thank you. 🙏🏻💐
Thank you Dr. Ramani, I started watching “The Bear” on your recommendation. I would advise any survivors to NOT binge watch it because the characters and storyline can be triggering. I want to see what Carmy does next, he has really earned the right to live the life he wants instead of just what he is good at.
Since I’ve learned about narcissism, I’ve realized most all movies deal with characters sufferings from narcissisms, psychopaths and sociopaths. It makes it interesting and brings in drama.
Not watched the show but thank you for passing on the message.
Very helpful as always. Thank you!
Here I am, coasting along, thinking I was done “doing the work”. I’d still watch your videos at times, and they’d just remind me of things I’d worked through over the last few years. Then you still come up with something like this, that pops a cork loose that I didn’t know was still there.
Thank you so much <3 I am a creator and an artisan, I struggle with dissociation to such an extent that I have just few cherished moments of clarity and the rest is just foggy dissociation. I'm in the process of finally gaining my independence and I'm really re elaborating my crafts and my "business appearance" bcs I feel like I want to give more space to me as a person instead of me as logo or a piece of crafting, I really got lost in my art. I didn't know how to express this, I'm glad that this is a think that has space in a tv show, I didn't know <3
I never watched the bear because when I lived in Chicago from 2012 to 2016. I spent a lot of time trying to date chefs.
They are the absolute worst of all time to try today especially if there’s a drug problem.
One of the things I have noticed after 5 years no contact and 5 years of therapy… sit coms and dramas – sometimes – all I see is the roles in a messy family – a narcissist runs the show and everyone tiptoes around or puts up with it – and I just can’t NOT see it – and it’s no longer as entertaining.
You are pretty awesome, Dr… Thank you.
A brilliant video dear Dr.Ramani. It resonates so much.Thank you.
This is EXACTLY what I was talking about with someone yesterday. He(narc) said that he admired his gf for doing so much work, despite not needing to. And I said that she’s obviously compensating for something if she’s doing so much that she’s not sleeping and it’s absorbing her whole life. She honestly sounds like the guy, trying to fill in her day so much, with work, or friends, or the bf, that there’s no room to think about anything hard. Add to that that the bf(narc) in question likes how she greatly appreciates what little he does for her. It was saddening.