What gaslighting REALLY looks like
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
THANK YOU RAMANI! For validating countless broke people trying to heal ❤
None of us were ever broken, just very bruised. I used to call myself broken, but that only kept me trapped. It’s the narcissists who try to gaslight us into thinking we’re broken. At 49 years old I finally realized that even at my lowest point (and that was REALLY low), I was never broken, I was never beyond hope. I was simply seeing myself in the mirror the narcissists in my life provided to me, rather than seeing who I truly was and was capable of becoming. It feels so amazing and so liberating to finally be able to recognize the real me in the mirror.
the world is much better because of you
They are masters at twisting language so specificity is imperative!
So true!
You need people in your life who really see you. My grandparents, an aunt, an uncle, a teacher… so important!
Indeed ❤
They avoid being accountable to their behavior. Accuse you for reacting even though they want you to react.
And when you don’t react, they ramp it up even more because the won’t be ignored.
@@sushmayen every comment I have every read you post is on point, I can tell u have been through narissist abusive and really get it, thank you for your knowledge and input
You can’t win. That’s why the best move is to not play.
Was always told as a child into my 30s that my malignant narc parent just had a “Reality Distortion Field” or similar definition.
Been no contact for 4 years and I now have my own reality back which is empirical and independent of that loser’s sad little lie of an existence. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
I can hardly wait. Imagine living in a town where there is a general “ reality distortion field”?
Gaslighting is doubting what is actually reality! I am very aware of gaslighting and figured everyone knew. Nope I got slaughtered by others due to a gaslighter! How easily we can be manipulated! Ty Dr Ramani and comments!
I was so sick of being constantly fact checked. I wouldn’t be believed unless it was double-checked and confirmed by someone else before whatever I said was believed. It was exhausting!
Oh I know what gaslighting is all about. Thankfully, those who did it to me never ever broke my own knowing.
As an Empath, the feeling of them trying to manipulate me just worked against my true being, which is why I never budged and will never budge. ❤
I remember when a friend of my narc ex delivered food for him (us) after a party. He took the food closed the door looked at me and laughed saying to me, “I can get my friends to do anything for me.”
That was one of the first red flags.
My covert, self righteous, narc husband is a serial underminer. He won’t come out and tell me I “can’t” do something because he knows I’ll push back. Instead he’ll find ways to interrupt and undermine my goals. If I want to apply to a class, he won’t leave me alone so I won’t be able to complete the application essays. He’ll pout, throw a tantrum, or accuse me of “abandoning” him if I have to complete an assignment or need to do something without him. It’s almost as bad as the gaslighting.
Learn how to have an adult conversation about how you feel and if his behaviour doesn’t change, you will quickly realize that he thinks you’re his dog …..not his partner.
@@theliftexpert Tell us you never dealt with a covert narc without telling us you never dealt with a covert narc…
@@antoa5825 the person was only trying to help. Be nice.
This brings to mind when after excitingly sharing with my mom that my child’s 1st grade teacher wanted me to teach “ art awareness “ to her students. I was already room mom and she said that without a volunteer, her class would not have this opportunity.
My mother promptly reminded me that “ you are not qualified for that “. I did volunteer after all but was very shaky ( physically) during the lecture portion. I really believe that I would have done better without the negative feedback from my parent. This is just one example of course, I am quite the overcomer😁
What a ridiculous thing for your mother to say! 😢
Reminds me of my late mother who was very narcissistic. It was back in the seventies and I was bringing up my two children alone. We were very poor and I had no money to buy them presents. My father bought us a second hand TV and my son (age five) was so happy and excited. He said to my mother “guess what Nana, Grandad got us a colour television”. His little face was shining with joy til my mother said “oh everyone’s got one of those”. I watched his face drop. In one year they had been through their parents splitting up, their father cutting contact, three house moves and three different schools. My mother couldn’t bear to see anyone happy, not even her own grandchildren. I didn’t know anything about NPD back then. I’d grown up with abuse and it was normal. I’m sorry your own mother wasn’t supportive to you. Well done (from me) for your achievement and you sound a lovely mum. 💕
Good for you 👏 I too have been told negative dismissive things like that when I wanted to go back to school. Pushing forward despite them. 💪🏼 Thank you for sharing ❤
This explains the verbal attack the narcissistic sister in law did to me. It was horrific and I didn’t understand why she did it. I was always polite and supportive of her but started to keep boundaries when she started to be mean to me which she did not like. I now see it was her who was projecting her issues onto me. Holding onto my reality. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Listening to your video brought back the painful memories of when I was told o wasn’t good enough or could never accomplish the things without them. Today, I am a single parent, professional and homeowner, who is able to live independently without the narcissist.
Thank you. Vital point about the language, ie denial of ‘reality’ not ‘your/my reality.’ Also, what I think is really important is that we don’t actually need witnesses or recordings or cameras, that if we know something happened then it happened. Real strength and immunity to any gaslighting lies in trusting ourselves and believing 100% that if we saw/ heard something then it happened. End of story.
The narcissist may even show another person’s success and courage as an example to demean you while at the same time constatntly making you feel fearful of taking chances on a daily basis.
In this world we reward narcissists in my opinion. One of the stories you referred to reminded me of that show inventing Anna which is about a true story I think. That woman has been rewarded for that behavior
I agree they are rewarded more than genuine, kind, hard working people. They rule the business world and step on everyone to do it.
This is 💯 the narcissistic in law in my family. She verbally assaults me and does smear campaigns spreading lies about me. I disengage as best I can but when cornered and attacked by her I do stand up for myself only to be criticized and shamed even more by her. Then she lies about what she did to other family members turning it on me. Then the enablers in my family expect me to pretend it’s no big deal and just forgive her so we can all hang out again like nothing happened. Not going to happen. I’ve had enough as it’s been happening for years and I know the truth. It’s been extremely hurtful to me. Protecting my health. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I am heartbroken by the lost time, my youth, and opportunities due to the narcissistic abuse I experienced. Taking myself back and living my life regardless of them. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
My mom would gaslight me and when I tried to defend myself she would say I was going into “psycho mode.” I’ve lost all love for her.
Oh how I wish I heard your words YEARS ago! With this narcissistic treatment from family and ex- husband and more! You validated EVERYTHING I felt was WRONG with these people’s treatment of me! Thank you
Me too. Mother. Two ex husband’s. Ex romance 2018. 5 former friends and counting. No contact with them all
Gaslighting is just a small part of how evil, toxic, abusive, paranoid, destructive, mentally sick and insane a narcissist can behave