What hurts more: the narcissist’s indifference OR their rage?
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Indifference hurts me while rage scares me
Exactly!
Me, too.
@@tayuu2001Yes! My ex-husband tried to kill me.
@@JackieFerrell-f6o I am so so sorry to hear this. I hope you’re safe 🙏
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do!!
Definitely the indifference. He could ignore me completely for a week or more and he knew what that did to me.
Same here. After I told him how much it hurt me, he found every chance to do it. Silence then rage. That’s all there was at the end. I finally left after 21 years together. Its not easy, but it is peaceful.
Silence is as painful as a weapon as the rage and lashing out. Ugh. For me, silence is worse. But silence is absolutely a weapon.
Never thought about their indifference. Thanks for that distinction! What affects me more is their indifference to how much their rage and their behavior affects me and my mother.
The indifference, it’s like you don’t exist! The rage scares me…
Actually we don’t exist to a narcissist at all because they’ve never separated from mother & simply see everyone as mommy supply, even their own kids 💔❤️🩹♥️
I saw my therapist two days ago and I said that I felt invisible. Then I told her about what I had been holding in – the pain of his trying to kill me during the discard stage.
Indifference hurts me more. For me the indifference is also something that is frightening.
One feels like a slow and painful death, and the other is quick and still painful. Either way, they’re both traumatizing.
I like how you said this. I agree, too.
Great comment
There is no preference to which type of intolerable behavior they present with. It is unacceptable and should be avoided when possible.
Indifference is a slow cooker. Anger is a frying pan. But they both cook, just in different ways.
I like that analogy
We tend to descend into indifferent situations with covert narcissists after we were raised with overt malignant narcissists
Absolutely 💯
The rage comes out of nowhere. That throws me off.
That’s the point of cut but gray rock gets you control over the situation & takes the power away from them
This happened to me, too. I was terrified.
You’re absolutely right! I put a bag with watermelon in the fridge, and they went from 0 to 200 in a second. Just moments before, we were laughing and talking. It truly blew me away.
As divorce papers are being served today… after 30 years of being married to a brilliant theoretical physicist who ranged from sweet interaction with small children and love bombs out of the blue…to near violent physical fights (evil hate spewing from every body pore and breath). Your YouTube videos have been invaluable for my anchoring of Reality v. Being contorted internally, mentally and draining my vital energies. When, after 30 years of being persona non grata. My childhood patterns from my functional alcoholic narcissistic father who abandoned me for huge stretches of time…. I had a “cutting the chords” moment – was not ever going to have this abuse again in my life. I am worthy of respect and love in all areas and relationships in my life! Just took a deep breath in texting this. The burdens are real and are being lifted in my daily living. Daily prayers, meditation and exercise are all needed for my recovery from a whole era of abuse from narcissistic personality disorders. The capacity for returning to my core true self is possible in quiet prayerful ways. Acknowledging Higher Power is the most genuine way for me to build trust within for Safety to reach forward and outward. Thank you for your service, God Bless you!❤
You’re stronger than you know ☮️ peace is possible on the other side of CPTSD
My father was a malignant narcissist and I divorced five months ago after a 40 year marriage to a malignant narcissist. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing 💜
Indifference is how you get hooked.
Always chasing the reciprocity….
Rage is why you stay.
Fear is the controller……
Hot & cold behavior is the first sign of an abuser 👍 fool me once… I’m gone 😉
Yes.
These relationships only snowball.
You can get out!
No matter the circumstances, impossibility, and loss involved.
It will literally save your life.
Emotionally and physically.
Im a living example to testify.
Me 2 👍
For me, definitely the indifference!
Rage is terrifying and sometimes dangerous, but at least you have something solid to react to. You can see that their behaviour is abnormal and crazy. But indifference and neglect give you nothing to react to or push back against. At least if someone is screaming at you, they are treating you like you exist and focusing all their attention on you, however negative. By contrast, neglect and indifference are like a slow-release poison. Over time, it leaves you feeling like you don’t exist at all.
Feeling invisible is the worst feeling in the world for me. Got it from mother, father, brother, sister, and husband, and it feels like being dead.
No matter how much you tell them, they don’t care.
I’ll take the indifference over the rage. At this point, the indifference does not effect me at least there is quiet in the house. Rage is scary, the throwing things, breaking things; that I can absolutely do without.
While indifference doesn’t feel good, the rage hurt me more, because it was so vindictive and scary!
There’s no end to rage. There’s just a pause in between. ❤