When you BETRAY the narcissist
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
If eye for an eye, everyone will be blind. 🧐 Just walk away…thanks Doc!
I like to try to remember that the maturity of the Narcissist is that of a child.
👍
I know. It’s too bad we can’t just give them a time out in the corner but it’s much more difficult than that. They are blind to themself because they are digging up any crap they can find on you so they can elevate themself(in their mind only). Total idiots 😮
Bless your heart ❤.
A nasty child.
Anything done to a narc will be treated by them as exponentially worse than anything they’ve done to you. And nobody can hold a grudge longer than a narc
Are you the Mary that someone was planting seeds of doubt in others’ ears? I remember a video, I think, a few months ago. I can relate, and it’s one of the things that makes navigating these relationships and dynamics hard.
💯 percent
A narcissist is the kind of friend that will help you hide a dead body. But if you betray a narcissist, just remember they know how to hide a dead body.
Perfect illustration
If they are helping you, they aren’t doing it to help you. They are doing it to have blackmail on you.
I have now become vindictive towards my narc husband using him for my gain…not proud of it. I just recognize it.
🤣🤣🤣
They will enlist you in hiding a body, and then frame you for the murder.
When I was friends with my NPD friend , I couldn’t understand why she didn’t invite me to special events in the family. Now I know she didn’t want to share the attention they would give her. And there were a lot of special events I was not invited to attend!!!!
Leaving my narcissistic husband has saved my life, but caused him to go whole hog danger to me. He will never stop trying to destroy me and end my life because I divorced him. With 4 children under 18, an at-home mom with no child support and no employment, I still filed. My joy and safety are my solace.
He considered my filing for divorce a betrayal to him, although he bankrupted us twice, had us living unsafely in a dump, and was actively gaslighting and hurting me and our 4 children.
I’m proud of you. People think that the abuse stops when you leave. I often feel that it gets worse. They will forever be enraged that you left them and your life is better because of it. I feel like us just breathing infuriates them.
Congrats for getting out
Been there. Stay strong. Something will happen in the narc’s life and he/she will have other irons in the fire.
Praying for you. 🙏
I wish I had your courage, as I feel trapped.
You don’t have to betray them, deliberately at least, they can just see it as a betrayal and they hold that grudge forever, they never forgive, I’ve been through it first hand. Even a minor slight can trigger it actually, and they’ll hold onto it forever, the amount of anger and hate in them is surprising, and yet, they make excuses for their own behaviour and feel justified if they do it to you.
When it comes to a narcissist everything is betrayal🤷♀️
And they’ll never admit they are in the wrong for their vindictiveness! They justify it all “because you…”
I’ve temporarily betrayed a narcissist to escape the relationship with minimal collateral damage. And no, I don’t feel bad at all. It’s like feeling bad for defending yourself from an attacker. If the narcissist isn’t dealing in good faith, you have the right to protect yourself until you can leave the abuser
Yes! By nature these people are attacking you, truly. Whether it’s directly physical or not. It’s psychological warfare and (I’m speaking directly to myself here) we don’t need to feel guilty for trying to escape and survive.
I tried to end the relationship “normally”, and was faced with threats and a mountain of guilt-tripping. In the end I also had to escape in secret, leaving half of my belongings behind. There really is no reasoning with these people!
My ex felt that my leaving him was a form of betrayal. Interestingly, although he said that he didn’t want the divorce, I felt in my gut that if I went back, he’d punish me. His upset wasn’t about me; it was about him.
💯 percent yes.
Thank you for this one. This often has made me feel like the narcissist…
They can betray you, but how dare you betray them.
I didn’t cheat in the relationship. He did. But me moving on was a punishable offense.
Same deal with my ex wife. Even now eight years on.
My narcissitic sister is at the end of the road on cancer treatments. She lives in another state. We are the two remaining members of my immediate family. I have been extremely supportive during her treatments. I have called to check on her, sent encouraging cards, sent gift cards and goodies. I decided after her second narcissitic rage a few years ago (When she was visiting) that I can never have her under my roof again. I was the scapegoat in the family. My parents died years ago. Their behavior then (and my whole life) sent me into self destructive tail spins when they died. I can see that my sister is trying to hoover me in so that she can stay with me (and take out her anger) during her remaining time. This will not happen. As Dr. R has said “There is no virtue in being an emotional punching bag for another person.” I am sure that without Dr. R I would be heading into my third tail spin. I would appreciate any prayers. (PS: I have one friend who I can speak frankly with).
Sending you my prayers. Stay strong in your self-advocacy. Ignore all the manipulations. You owe her nothing whatsoever.
I have a similar experience and I support you in standing firm!!
“Epic level of victimhood” well said
He told everyone we know that I “ broke his heart” ( in spite of his devaluing process) hearing that shocked me and made me feel so terrible for years while he raged on until it finally occurred to me that if I broke anything it wasn’t his heart it was his PRIDE. And that was one of the first steps out of the mental quagmire
if things don’t go their way, to them, it’s a betrayal no matter what.
Even if it went their way, any little part of it that falls short is against you.
I made a plan to leave and he never saw it coming. Feeling guilty for learning their game and saving you and your kids..nope! That’s not a betrayal, that’s survival.
I “betrayed” my narcissistic mother a few times and oooh boy has she made me suffer for it 😬
If you can exit quietly.. do it 🙈