When your narcissistic parent goes NO CONTACT with you
When a narcissistic parent goes no contact, it can feel sudden, confusing, and deeply painful. This isn’t the kind of no contact people usually talk about—and it doesn’t come from a place of healing or boundaries. In this video, we look at why some narcissistic parents cut off their adult children, what’s really being communicated when they do, and how power and control quietly shape this decision. If you’ve been left questioning what just happened, this will help you see the pattern more clearly.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Communal Narcissists are experts at no contact but at the same time carry out their amazing angel side. While behind closed doors they are mean abusive toxic.
“A win is a win”
My mom went no contact for about 3 years before she died in 2022. I tried and tried and eventually I gave up trying to have a relationship with her. She only wanted me in her life on a as needed basis. I created my own family and 😂 at the situation. I was her only child and we had not talked for 3 years when she died. But I’m at peace with it all because I tried.
Thank you for this comment. You are comforting me because my mom just did this and she is old and sick. I sent you a big hug 🩷✨🩷✨🩷
Also, I did everything
If they go no contact, count your blessings & enjoy the peace of mind. ✌️
That was my initial thought, too. Then I remembered that it still hurt when my narcissist did it. I eventually worked through it, I think. Overall, the damage from years was invisible to me, but I believe (in hindsight) that it significantly affected my emotional and mental health.
We need to protect our peace at all times!
No doubt 🖖
Best thing that ever happened to me.
I do enjoy the peace of mind. My mom was always picking at me and only nice when she needed something. I struggle finding birthday and mother’s day cards for her because the mushy verses did not match her. She will pick on me and say when you were in high school you did this (I am 58 and I never did drugs, smoked anything or came home pregnant) I just ditched school twice. She has stopped speaking to me. I reached out but no response. I look back at my childhood, and relatives, friends, and neighbors all stopped speaking to my mom. I remember one neighbor in front of my mom saying to me if I needed to talk she was there. My mom was so angry at that. My ex-husband would say its like she wants to compete with you. It hurts terribly, but I do feel peaceful that she went no contact with me. 😢
When I was 14 my mother kicked me out.
2 weeks go by and when I didn’t beg to come back, she calls the police and tells them I ran away.
Refused to take accountability or even an apology.
I was too young to understand this was illegal and In could’ve called CPS. I was blaming myself and she successfully emotionally isolated me.
My mom did something similar to this… she ill treated me and when i actually left she told everyone that i abandoned her…
I know that my situation is different from what Dr. Ramani is talking about, but I think I would have been better off if she had just never contacted me again.
The easiest way to have a narcissist parent kick you out of the family is to expose the truth. Truth tellers are often targeted like this.
Very true, this is what had happened with my sister and I.
Same
After I left, the people who raised me cut off all contact. For almost 20 years, there were no birthday cards, no Christmas cards—nothing. They were angry that I left. I’m only in touch with one family member now, and even they are very guarded about sharing information.
Wow. This has happened to me.
After years of burying things under the carpet, I finally told my mean, father in a very constructive way I might add what I thought about his treatment of me and my mother, my entire life.
That didn’t go over well
No accountability, no self reflection and certainly no apology
Rather, he now chooses not to speak to me no phone call on my recent milestone birthday. Silence
Wow this came right on time
Thank you Dr. Ramani. 😊
The dynamic & power differential between parent & offspring never changes, regardless of age. So if a parent goes no contact with their adult child, that isn’t estrangement – it’s abandonment.
@LisTheAutisticVeganI don’t agree. If one parent is stalking and alienating their child against them, it isn’t a safe situation.
Look up Susan Still. The horrible part is the moral injury these kids have.
A narcissistic parent actively initiated no-contact? I call that a lucky break. It’s a blessing 😂
Absolutely .
It’s hard to take when your not the guilty party .
I agree👍
@deathfromabove9888I went no contact with my mom and she did the smear campaign. She had told me I was like her sisters and my dad, and that she didn’t like me. So I said don’t waste your time then. And I meant it. It’s not my job to make her like me, or prove that I am not like her sisters or my dad. They were a big part of my life.
But she played the victim and started all kinds of nasty rumors after that. She lied to family. It was told to me that she and my brother plotted a scheme to get my nursing license.
You know…..I don’t regret a thing. I hate their behavior…but what happened to them to be that kind of malicious person? Just glad I can’t figure them out.
My thoughts exactly!!!
I grew up with my mother constantly “punishing” me with no contact, or not talking to me. Then I grew up and realised the game. So when she didn’t talk to me for around 3 months and then decided I was “worthy” of her communicating with me again, I decided I wasn’t done with the silence, and continued it for another 3 months. Boy did she hate me MORE when she realised I learnt her games. But I also loved the peace and quiet of not having her talk to me. It got easier and easier to ignore her and only talk to her when I wanted. Stupid games.
Good for you!!! 💪
My father who adopted me at age 1.5 years old, (He married my mother and was in my life at 10 months of age) He kicked me out and has had nothing to do with me for more than 30 years. He’s still in full contact with my siblings, his true kids. He’s even plugged in to their families and children. He did not come to my marriage or graduation, my children’s birth, their birthdays, my even birthday. etc., I have been excluded from holidays, funerals and even wills. It has literally been hell trying to explain to others why this is, and WHY am I not extending the olive branch. My own siblings and mother for years have accused me of ruining the relationship. Frankly, I am just freaking tired of the whole lie and manipulative game. All these years later, I am still held accountable for their lack of connection and blame for the abuses they have ALL done. Quite literally, BECAUSE I hold other’s accountable and tell the TRUTH, this is why I am discarded to the other side of the planet. Fine by me.
It’s clearly not fine x why would it be .
It’s hurtful I know the feeling . It’s so unjust .
When all you do is care and want to be a part of things they put ever changing goal posts in front of you . WTF !!
It’s about control and keeping adult child in same position they are in as a child. Then adult child looks incapable to the rest of the world. And all they need is a escape from years of abuse. So they can live too. Then parent goes no contact to adult child to punish them for trying to live life. A shattering experience to a human an act of cruelty and selfishness from unhealed heartless parents. Thankyou
It’s all about control,the narrative, and the way others see it. They want to pull you back in, if you managed to escape from them. Control, control, control!
they certainly give you the cold shoulder when they realised that their manipulation tactics don’t work on you anymore!
To part from one’s abuser is a good thing! 😊
What humans are capable of is so depressing.
Its a blessing, honestly. Its much worse when they constantly ask you for favours.