Which type of narcissistic abuse cuts deepest?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Parental nacsissistic abuse is the worst. You haven’t developed a proper sence of self and can’t simply ‘bounce back’ like you would from an adult narc relationship. Your nervous system a disaster.
I agree with you, if you weren’t taken care of properly that lingers into adulthood.
I’ve had both family and relationship narcs, and I’m leaning to the idea that the latter is worse for me.
It can likely put you in very harmful place when one marries into a toxic family system.
This is the issue I’m having in trauma therapy. I feel like I can’t ‘fix’ my self-esteem, because it wasn’t something already developed that took damage later in life, it never got a chance to develop properly to begin with! Since I’ve had a sense of self I’ve hated myself, so how can I unlearn all I’ve ever known..
@beachfairyI’m pretty sure I have felt this and it makes me wonder if it was the detrayal of self.
I can’t hide the dread or fear in my face and body. This reaction to something said to me recently made him laugh.
Everyone have a wonderful day!
The one that cuts the deepest for me is not the one that’s loud, but it’s the one where I’m being I ignored and treated like I don’t exist. It really messes with your head especially when this type of treatment comes from someone very close to you. I start to think that maybe I’m problem. And after a while, this type of rejection just makes me want to stop trying to be noticed for once, as it just makes me feel smaller and smaller.
I had both shelled out by my ex. It’s awful being invisible.
Same
Same. ❤❤❤
This, 100%. At least you exist when the abuse is out loud.
Been there. Years ago and when the memories pop- up they are still gutting.
Boy. When I think about two concepts here in terms of narcissistic relationships — attention and neglect — my mind gets absolutely blown away by the horror of it all when it comes to narcissistic relationships, but also the fascinating aspect of learning about this stuff!
“them wanting you to wait you are hungry” hits home…how heartless
Being dismissed resonates.
You talk dr Ramani , and dozens of memories just pop up into my head , I have been abused by my family in every possible way.
Same. Floods of memories.
Before it gets flooded with comments, Dr.Ramani I’ve been here with you before this channel and I knew you would blow up. This woman is extremely rare she’s changed a lot of life’s and translated this type of abuse in a way her reward is in another realm unseen. Protect this woman at all costs this is a woman that has exposed the enemies top tactics and reminded us of our dominion on this earth 💐👑. She’s royalty.
The silent treatment is the aboslute worst. Caused madness in my mind. Made me seek out help from family which made them hate the relationship and snowball on.
❤❤❤. The worst
I am 39 years old and to this day I can’t stand hearing people yelling. It activates my F response
Same 41
Narcissists want to convince their victims that their victims don’t deserve anything, including food, water, sleep, privacy, dignity, kindness, respect, and happiness.
That’s how my X was
Sounds like capitalism
Exactly! You are a slave for them to use you as the want. It’s evil.
When your parents dont protect you because they dont want to ruin their image to other people. They dismissed your feelings.
Yep. In 6th grade I was being verbal bully, physical bully and get a lot of Asian racial slur by other 6th graders. Dad didn’t care all he care was illegal chicken fighting, playing with his chickens, work, stash welfare money and go to China to hook up with “college girls”. Mom? Ignores what I said. “It’s okay if they bully you. They are white people. They can do whatever they want”. I end up having to “take things to my own fist” to get the verbal and physical bully to stop.
My marriage went from benign neglect, which I could manage, to malignant neglect. Being sick with covid really opened my eyes.
Same. Mine went from benign, to subtle but cloaked physical abuse, to malignant, to overtly life threatening.
Covert narcs are the worst abusers and cut the deepest as it’s so subtle and insidious and makes you feel like you are going insane liberally and like you’re small that you don’t exist ❤❤❤
I was married to a covert for 15 years. I was like what is happening to me. I became so empty. He would never say I love you, never heard that I was a good mother, never said I looked beautiful. His reply to me “Life isn’t a Soap Opera’. I literally thought well maybe i’m wrong and I don’t deserve to have all this affection. I made excuses for him and at the same time lost who I was. I left him and it’s been 7 years. Still healing. He is still gaslighting me and telling me I’m crazy. We have a college age daugther so still dealing with him.
I’m so sorry to read this @julieb8445 ! 15 years is a long time to suffer 😢. I did a couple years only and he stripped me of me without me understanding what’s happening.
Mine used to tell me he loves me all the time. With a twist:
Abused me, then told me I’m crazy but he loves me. I ended up excusing the abuse and being grateful for him “loving” me despite my “despicable crazy” nature. It lead to me focusing on my craziness and thinking I deserve abuse.
Being raised by 2 narcissistic parents (out of whom one also has undiagnosed, untreated BPD) and becoming the scapegoat, while your sibling is the golden child 😔
Same. On top of that, Golden child sibling is also a Narcissist.
Good times…
“Narcissistic relationships are split in two directions: a sort of controlling over-focus that the narcissistic person has on the other person, you, in the relationship, and that alternates with them neglecting, having little interest in even recognizing that you are the separate human being that is sitting in front of them.” Thank you for putting into words something I’ve been feeling and thinking about for a while.
When your mother doesn’t protect you against your father’s rage and then, she accuses you of being over exaggerated… you grow up learning not to trust even your own simple thoughts. You can’t even be able to feel what to like or not.
I just commented, ” What about one malignant parent and one benign parent?”
@@stompthedragon4010yes
As long as we stay in the role that a narcissistic parent gave us, we will remain preys for narcissistic people.
It’s when the narcissist pretends you are invisible and they don’t see you. You are treated like a ghost.
Yep, being ghosted. It’s horrible
My mom was mostly pretty covert, I think, but her narcissistic rages were never-ending. She would fly into a rage and start beating what was in her mixing bowl really hard and fast then follow us (whomever her target was) to our rooms yelling. She would stop and go away only to return in a few seconds with another tirade. She’d do this many times over until she said everything under the sun, ruining most of our day. I never realized what she was until recently. Once I mentioned to her I thought someone else might be a narcissist and she volunteered that she was one. I still have no idea where that came from. She was too ‘superior’ to ever seek therapy. She passed away years ago and I’m just now figuring out my life at 71 and why I was forever rebellious and full of fear. Glad people are learning to figure things out earlier thanks to accessible channels like Dr. Ramani’s.