Why do people OVERSHARE after narcissistic relationships?
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November 1-3, 2024
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Realize I’ve overshared… Thank you for posting!
Same here.
Yup. It’s hard to understand boundaries when they are stomped on when young (at least that was the case for me)
Same here! I speak very quickly, thinking that I’ll be interrupted at any moment. omg 😓
@@thomaspierce9458 wondering if part of the reason we over share, is in part, because we feel we’re protecting narcissists. The reality? They’re well-protected, either way.
Me too. Often 😊
Its a trauma response. Heal and be discerning.
Yes. Thank you Dr. Ramani. For those Christians out there, there is a bible verse that talks about pushing the plow forward and to not look back. Keep your prayers and confidences with the Lord, don’t dwell on it, trust the Lord and keep on keeping on. Learn from mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.
Thank you for explaining this well. It’s a rare person who can handle the topic of abusive relationships. It’s also a good idea to protect yourself until you are positive that a person is safe. We aren’t initially good judges of character, imho.
I just left a 9 year relationship and I’m scared to speak with anyone, I’m looking so careful at people now and have no want for anything but healing. I’m afraid of just how many people are this way.
You’re learning to trust yourself again & practice discernment. I use the 51/49 per cent rule. More kind than not out there but be careful because the unkind are almost half the population now
Take your time to heal, at your unique pace. Don’t be hard on you. 🍀
Made this mistake. It brought other toxic people out of the woodwork ready to stick the knife in because they now knew I was in a vulnerable state
Yes me too! Used my vulnerabilities against me. I honestly thought this can’t be happening! They were narcissist too. Which I figured out later. I know what I’m not sharing anymore. Until I get that space healed. Though may never heal idk . Mom’s the word.
@@SherryTomlinson-r2y If you have one narc in your life, you probably actually have a few, you just dont realise. And you will be traumatised and then subsequently re-traumatised
@@liambraithewaite6415 I noticed about all I had were narcissist!! At this time I was so mentally ill I had a day program to go too. The program didn’t know what I had been through but at least I felt safe.
@@liambraithewaite6415well, I think there are many, in sheer numbers anyway. And, yep, they’re looking for vulnerabilities.
I have discovered that its almost dangerous to share anything that may imply that you somehow in a less ‘normal’ soccial state like being an orphan, not married, uneducated ‘enough’ anything that will give others possibility to make your life disadvantages or tragedies a target to later harm you
I find I over explain everything!!! It’s from years of being misunderstood. I work hard at stopping it. I’m in a new relationship and I had to explain some of the triggers I have and why but I’ve been very careful to stick to just basics facts and things I think he really needs to know.
It’s kind of like living with a disability. When you have a service animal for example, you only need to share with other people what tasks the animal performs, not why you’re disabled or what happened to you, only what accommodations you’ll need to help you function.
Some people like it when we have problems. We shouldn’t overshare our situation with everyone.
@@sushmayen some even feel you’re the problem, if you’ve escaped. Particularly, if they haven’t.
I often refer to it as CDS; compulsive disclosure syndrome.
That’s a good name
That’s a good one. 👍😁👏
Yeah. Spot on because it is a compulsive thing.
My motto: Life is unfair, don’t overshare.
I like that!
During the toxic relationship, total silence, shame. After it breaks up, starting to over sharing 😮😢
I have done this.. It has caused so many problems. Either I have ended up looking stupid or like a child.. given info that wasn’t required, and individuals have judged me. They felt better because I was having a bad time. And many.. have taken it as me being vulnerable and put me in a position to be taken advantage of. It seems like ppl almost enjoy that you’re in such a situation. Surprisingly, i still do it even though i know it. Either i shut off completely or talk too much as if i need to prove myslef.
I can relate to over-sharing. I have shut down and not spoken. Then, when I get to share, it overwhelms the other person. It can be exhausting for all of us. Having this space is helpful. Having certain people that almost understand is helpful. An inner voice begins to regulate what can be expressed and what should be kept to oneself.
Thank you for helping me to find myself and my inner voice. Thank you for helping me to find balance. 😊
I’m in a 12 step programme and do daily outreach calls. We listen to each other for 4 minutes each without interrupting. Doing this daily has really helped me stop over sharing.
That’s a great idea!
I learned that from a friend many years ago. It really helps. You get it off your chest and move on to more positive things.
But are you listenin to the person talking or tuning it out till your 4 minutes is go? Great rule just is it beneficial to the person who has the floor.
@Miss_Takn no tuning out. Actively listening then feeding back using paraphrasing/mirroring. It very effective.
Is this a therapy programme? What’s it called?
It feels like trying to find reality after walking through a living nightmare.
❤Shout out to all you active and reflective listeners out there who have literally saved lives by being present with someone, however arduous it may have been at the time. For holding through until we break through and find ourselves again. From old friends to random strangers~ thank you dearly for taking the time, I’ll pay it forward endlessly 💗
@@ktbiwk during close down for two years I watched Dr Ramani and others. If we are not educated on the narcissist, for me I had no words to describe the horrors I had been through. Why we need each other to be there who have been there. 💗ty
We’re a tribe 😉
I overshared because I had to vomit 🤢 all that toxic crap he put it inside me. It’s good and bad because you attract more narcissists, but it’s good because you learn to not trust NO-ONE! THIS LIFE IS ONLY YOU AND GOD! ❤
I feel exactly the same.. only me and God now
Same here.
I felt victim. It eats you up and you need a listening ear. Some of us are far away from our countries and we don’t even talk often to our families. And even if we did, they wouldn’t relate to our predicaments. I did try with my sister and she made the situation worse by breaking down and crying. I had to be the one to console her again and then hang up. We also don’t have partners. We are just on our own. Imagine being a narcissistic boss or supervisor far away from your country, family, friends, etc. It’s not easy. This isn’t just an intimate relationship that you can just replace. It’s a matter of finances, academics, etc. I have been through this and the only therapy I had was listening to this lady. I say had because I did manage eventually to get out and get new supervisors, and the narcissistic supervisor had her day with the disciplinary committee. Apparently, she had so many disciplinary cases.
@@jilokizito1705 businesses can lose some good employees due to one narcissist.
I overshare because being with a covert narcissist, I would always get the silent treatment. Also, because I want to be rid of the shame I’ve carried for so long. I want to speak out what I spent a lifetime hiding from others. I guess it’s my way of correcting the record. I want my autonomy and authenticity back.
I over shared with my friend for a few years, it was hard and draining on her but she now thanks me because she can spot a narcissist a mile away without having gone through the abuse 🙏
This is why this channel is such a godsend for some of us. If you’re having a day of ruminating it’s helpful to be able to have a place to maybe over share and be heard by sympathetic listeners. Thanks Dr. Ramani!❤
I totally agree … share very little and close the book . I want to move forward and live in peace ☮️