Why is SELF-CARE so hard after a NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP?
Self-care sounds simple—until you’ve lived through a narcissistic relationship. When you’ve been trained to shrink yourself, silence your needs, and avoid anything that might trigger someone else’s rage or contempt, taking care of yourself can feel unsafe or “selfish.” This video explores why survivors struggle with self-care and why it has nothing to do with motivation or discipline.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Self care requires self worth. Narcissistic abuse systematically destroys your identity leaving you depleted distrusting your own needs and prioritizing the abuser’s voice over your own survival.
I’m
Absolutely
So grateful DoctorRamani is still making these important videos. It literally drains all the life out of you being emotionally/mentally abused by a toxic NARCISSISTIC but hearing her insightful input makes healing a lot easier<3
Dr Ramani saved my life 8 years ago. She was primarily the only one talking about narcissism.
Yep….I found her only 2 months before I finally ended it for good…..only 2 months and I learned so much and finally did it
How does one even figure out who you are after a childhood and two marriages with narcissists.
I don’t know how to proceed.
Im so sorry you had both parents! A good Therapist who is educated in narcissism and EMDR helped me immensely. I don’t think I’ll ever be healed and I now know I am strong and resilient!
🩷🙏 l am sorry about everything you have experienced.
🩷 Go Slow & be kind to yourself
🩷 Deep belly breaths to calm your nervous system (look into healing your nervous system~ It’s been damaged & needs peace)
🩷 You may require extra rest~ Rest without guilt~ You are a Human Being~ Naps & Siestas are ok~
Blessings for your healing journey! 💞💞💞
Hi there! Yes I do struggle very hard with self-care as I am caring for my narcissistic parent in his final years. People keep telling me to focus on myself and I STRUGGLE to. It’s so hard. Anyway, I love your beautiful comfy top and glasses ❤. You look lovely, Dr. Ramani😊
People who get absorbed into narcissistic relationships is like for them living on another planet.
Imagine being devoted to someone for long years and you reach a point that you love them more than you love yourself and abandon your own needs and put theirs as your first priority despite they constantly put you down and little you while they idealise themselves and their family (parents and so on)! It takes lots of time to grief, heal, get rid of the brainwashing, and retrieve your lost self-esteem.
Dr Ramani thanks a lot for doing what you do. Idk if you know how much strength, courage and support your videos give to people.
She is a life saver.
Absolutely agree, she is a life saver! Her videos are both educating as well as soothing.
Recovering from a narcissistic relationship is like escaping from a kidnapping
With Stockholm Syndrome
I had to move away. I had my narc grandmother trying to make me her scapegoat. Her two sons getting hostile to me when they saw she started coming to them. It got so bad they broke into my dam house to try to scare me into compliance.
Instead of dealing with this one covert narcissist as a family, everyone decides to throw her around like a hot potato.
I literally was scared of opening my door when I heard a knock.
Ten years of low family contact. I had a set back to my healing. But, then, after with more insights, videos another step forward. Haunting stories stuck in my mind that try to keep me safe, like a “Beware of Dog” sign. The healing process is a one step forward two back…but, the growth will come. I thought of the show “Gilligan’s Island”….will I ever get off the island? Revisiting the Steps of Radical Acceptance…and, Individuation, severing unhealthy family trauma bonds. “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” by Dr Suess, wishing the grinches of my life have a change of heart. The story of my life, I need to rewrite.
Awe…..your hair looks amazing
I was extremely, chronically, ill when in a marriage with a (diagnosed) narcissist. It’s 13 years and I have healed physically however, I am forever changed emotionally.
I was a 142 lb./13% body fat body builder and fitness director when I met my narc.
Today I am recovering from pneumonia at 97 lbs., alone in a tiny basement bedroom intended for the maid. Not one person in the family has checked on me in 6 days.
Luckily, I finally discovered what I was up against a couple of years back. Went back to work after raising the narc’s 3 grandchildren for 15 years after his daughter was killed by their father. He never missed a day of work, his career was too important. I quit both of my jobs, fitness coach and paralegal, to raise a family alone. No help around the house, yard, with cars, medical and educational appointments, a ton of random animals, a carnival of their friends always staying over…and completely discarded by the narc once they were grown, until one of the granddaughters came up pregnant 2.5 years ago. Then slowly pulled back in once the new baby arrived.
They are all discombobulated by my not showing up to care for the baby this week. They have never heard a hard no from me.
I needed to hear this. I never realized how much my narcissistic parent screwed me up.
Same here angel X❤
Because there are many kinds of narcissists the story is different for each individual
I absolutely agree and resonate with what you share so openly and with your unique humour!!! The toxicity of these antagonistic people can be very damaging. From a holistic point of view, not only from a physical one, our bodies can be affected by emotions and stress that is invisible and still cause so much harm. I have developed and stick to my sitting and yoga practice (not for 1 hour, for even 5 minutes) and to really listening to by body, which keep me going…
Thank you for your authentic and bright voice!!!
It’s a very lonely life. Sometimes I’m angrier for the lack of support than I am at the narcissist
I understand this. I’m tired of hiding it from the world because then I sound like the “crazy” one. That pisses me off. The lack of empathy in society, the unwillingness to learn something new, to change old thought patterns/ views – makes me angry. So I have withdrawn and I’m recovering on my own. It’s better and faster this way. Some people set you back in the process.
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@reneelibby4885that kind of setback happened to me recently and left me feeling quite hopeless for a while and even with me being pretty far into my own healing. Now I have to recover from another kind of trauma
This is so spot on!!!!! No amount of “kale” is going to undo the emotional harm from a narc abuse/and or being in any toxic relationships.
The best healing tonic is getting away from them.
Emotional exhaustion is… exhaustion. Full stop.
This is the exact problem I’m dealing with- you can’t heal the vagus nerve when you’re still around the trauma. This sucks. I’m so beat down it’s such a hole to crawl out of & im so resentful because all the damage was unnecessary and I only realize what was what way too late because it was also senseless.
Never ever stop Ramani. Your unwavering passion and expertise come together in such a way I have yet to experience ANY other human relationships content creators get anywhere close to. You shine a white-hot light of candour on the sorry state of world systems and institutions that have long festerd and stewed in their leadership and direction controlled by over-enabled narcissists. Never stop.