Why Narcissists Assume You’re Cheating When You Pull Away

When you try to leave a narcissist, the accusations often start flying. They can’t imagine you’d want out simply because of how they treated you—so they convince themselves you must be seeing someone else. In this video, Dr. Ramani explains why narcissists so often accuse their partners of cheating, what this reveals about their fragile egos and projection, and how to protect yourself from the chaos that follows. If you’ve ever been blamed for something you didn’t do just for wanting to walk away, this video will make it all make sense.

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

VISIT MY WEBSITE

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @theripper1705 says:

    Accusations of infidelity are always projections of his own actions.
    That is my experience.

  • @dawnnorton7712 says:

    My boyfriend accused me of this last month and “broke up” w/me bcuz we had a difficult conversation. Very childish behavior and so now I have started to detach. I deserve better than having an insecure man

  • @lebasietsi3061 says:

    Because that’s what they do. The thief thinks everyone is like him.

  • @emmep2749 says:

    YOU ARE READING MY FREAKING MAIL!!!!! My soon to be ex has accused me of cheating every few days for the last 6 years…we have been married for 6 years….He kept saying, “I want to trust you…”…sir, I have given you NO reason to not trust. When I asked for counseling and help, he weaponized it….said asking for counseling means marriage is over..
    I asked for connection, was told “If you cant feel the connection I am putting out, that is your problem…”…..then when I found evidence of his possible infidelity, he went NUCLEAR and EXPLOSIVE…I have filed..this was the last OF MANY straws.

  • @qlg8574 says:

    The narc does not want you to pull a narc move on them.

  • @nanimoosie says:

    theyre selfish, hypocritical, insecure and project their intentions onto you. they cannot fathom nor genuinely hear your true reasons for leaving

  • @49mohT says:

    14:37 Plot twist, Kelly didn’t pick it up. 😂

  • @lynnebucher6537 says:

    My ex was repeatedly accusing me of being interested in other men. I snapped and broke up with him when he started yelling at me about the supposed tryst I’d had with the neighbor on my way home from work. It was all projection because he’d cheated on his ex wife, something I didn’t know until later.

  • @itsssjanelle says:

    A narcissist can’t fathom someone having a different experience from them. They assume you’re motivated by the same things when they notice any changes in supply/behavior towards them.

  • @patrickcorbett8174 says:

    “Last thing I need is a relationship after this one was such a mess…” 😂 where’s the trainwreck emoji?

  • @yvonneneal8063 says:

    Thank you for touching on this. It was absolutely my experience for many years. He had more projections than a megaplex movie theater! I could not take it anymore!

  • @IzabelaWaniek-i1x says:

    You have described it perfect Ramani 🙏 narcissistic relationships are like living in a horror movie all on your own and lonely to the unbelievable extents and being out of them feels million times better even if you have a life of a hermit in mind. It’s really that bad. Those relationships are life threatening ordeals nobody nobody should be forced to go through…

  • @moniquejackson7741 says:

    Brilliant. They can’t handle the idea that you would leave a “perfect” person for any reason, so they make up affairs and turn it all back on you. BTW, you look really pretty, Dr. Ramani.

  • @yellowtheresunshine says:

    He accused me of cheating at the beginning of each of my pregnancies, even though he had forced me to have sex with him. He said he couldn’t be sure the babies were his. I was so confused. I gave him no reason to think i had ever cheated, and I never have. BTW, I didn’t know it then, but i was comsumed by cptsd and basically trying to survive it everyday, constantly in survival mode. At separation, i learned he had used me and the children to hide his homosexuality.

  • @aracelycarolinaromero929 says:

    He accused me of cheating at my workplace because I was arriving 20 minutes later. I asked him how on Earth does he think it could happen in a bank? He said in the toilet. He was so satisfied with his accusation that he was literally like someone who’s stomach is better after throwing up.🤮

  • @ianfink9277 says:

    Never, and I mean Never again. Three in a row over a course of 30+ years. Solitude is blissful. My home is now a sanctuary and will remain that way.

  • @geneviawylie says:

    Because they can’t imagine someone being done with them unless there is someone else! So ridiculous!

  • @bluebottle548 says:

    My Narc ex gf who as usual ofc Brutally Abandoned me and slept with random guy in 5 fking days…

    I was very ediot straight forward who Trusted her like she could never do something like this…

    Then I wanted to end up myself when I knew that what she has done with me……

    But idk how I started to dissect my case.. and started reading psychology books …
    Then started my char development arc

    I came to know she is
    A Malignant Narcissist with Border line Personality Disorder … A high high high Sensation seeker ..
    And ofc fits into Dark Tetrad
    ….

    She forced me to Argue with her by bringing random guys and stating her very real Sensation to be with them….
    I was ediot before … all i could do was argue…

    And after one such Arguement which she made me do it ofc and stopped talking to me cause she found new narc suppy ….
    On insta and cheated by sleeping in 5 days with him…

    After which as I said BPD and high in Psychopath she wished me DEAD..😢😢…..

    But i m here now yet … Healing but good to go with me and myself

  • @CS-iv8tk says:

    This happens all the time. Really shows how much they listen to your needs. They can’t meet your needs and they don’t want anyone else to either.

  • @Smillasp says:

    This is EXACTLYYYY what is happening every time I withdraw and want to be left alone (aka. left alone forever from this narcissistic man!!!!!!)

  • >