Why narcissists label you “intense”
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Damn right I am, after having to deal with him for 18 years, & his ashes are sitting in the corner. And I just turned 60-and no one is allowed to treat me like THAT ever again. ❤
I am no longer anyone’s SCAPE GOAT .
Hell to the Yeahhhhhh!
I popped a hole in my narc dad’s ashes under my coat. And sprinkled them out in a graveyard. No way I could had kept them !!
Ashes in the corner sounds fitting place.
Hero on YT! ❤
Of course narcissists are going to call me ” intense.” I have light and energy. They don’t.
And mercy… and love!
SING IT!! 🙏💙❣️
That’s what I was thinking
I have feelings. He doesn’t.
Yup 👍 your takin bout literally high vibration and frequency versus very very LOW 😩 vibration and frequency 👌❤️
Amen and Hallelujah queen’s…. and kings..😊🤍🙏
They called me “too metaphoric and too analytical.”
Yeah, because you were beginning to figure them out 😒
Oh my. Metaphoric and analytical– I consider those to be compliments.
We can’t do anything right according to them. Catch 22
They didn’t want you to figure it out.
@@Saraflowerk Right. You’re too concrete and too abstract all at once — coded: your cognitive independence is a threat to me.
Reinforcing boundaries is an intense situation.
They have to make you feel guilty to try and get what they want.
If you’re being called this, extremely intense, you’re doing right by you.
I grew up in a household where “reactions” were not allowed! I was too sensitive… too much…ect! I know you had to know what all this was in order to say all you do! Thank you Dr R!
Same. You had to shut up, suck it up, and take whatever they did or said to you. ANY reaction was punished. Even happiness. But especially anger, sadness, crying…any emotions or reactions that weren’t the narcissist’ were beaten out of you.
This video really sheds light on a common tactic narcissists use to deflect accountability. Labeling someone as “intense” is often a way to dismiss their valid emotions or reactions. Thank you for breaking this down so clearly—it’s empowering to understand these dynamics!
Intense is narc speak for crazy because of my intentional crazy making behavior & there’s a near term for that called gaslighting… they even made a movie about it & I took notes 😉 gotcha again!
According to them I’m too lazy, too stupid along with being too intense.
You’re in good company then, I’ve heard the same. ❤
All my life, absolutely! But, I’m not stupid. And neither are YOU. Healing can come!
I was called snappish by the N in my life. I’ve not talked to them since November. Keeping my distance helps me heal after finding a therapist who sees me for me. Thank you for your videos to see I’m not alone.
Narcs want you to have no boundaries. The moment you have a boundary they complain you are ‘intense’. The moment you call them out you are ‘intense’. They want you to pull back.
Even just having the basic expectations of kindness and respect from others they label as intense
@@l.5832 ABSOLUTELY! When you have no boundaries you are funding their lives! I fed the kids in the family for YEARS! They had new cars, boat motors that cost more than my CAR! His wife was only allowed to spend $50 a week on groceries. But that was not a problem as I kept the kids fed.. when I asked them to call the kids home at dinner time… this was over 10 yrs of feeding them all the time, they told the whole family I was selfish and mean to their kids. It took me years (in my 60’s) to realize they were just using me. I walked away. They stole my inheritance but my peace was worth every penny! Watch the people you “love”! If they are fine until you try and set a boundary… you got your answer! You become “too sensitive “ too much… 😂
True.
Dr. Ramani, I’m so sorry you internalized so much hardship. The world can be a really cruel place. Peace to you ♥
This intense calling is very familiar. When I reacted to the evil manufactured by the narcissist I got blamed for overreacting. But now I know the truth and I now know myself. Thank you Doc.
I always get called intense’s cousin serious. It’s gaslight/code/guilt for I’m too close to the truth and won’t just go along with the delusion/fantasy/lie or I’m enforcing a boundary and won’t budge.
ETA: “You think too much” is also a distant relative.
I always counter w “you think too little.” You can imagine how well it’s received
So spot on…. The worst of it is when you feel defeated by being misunderstood by an outsider. A two edged sword. When someone really sees what you are going through , it’s a healing grace.
So true, it’s incredibly healing when someone recognizes who the narcissist really is and sees what you’ve been through
If I had an opinion on ANYTHING, I was “too opinionated”.
“Too critical”, ” too argumentative”, “too dramatic”, etc…
Pretty much, if someone is bold enough to put-you-down, then Narcissist they probably are. Granted there might be some occasions where it is appropriate but largely it a put-down
Or just plain wrong. There’s rarely a word I can speak to my NM that is deemed right by her.
I call it “raw.” We’ve been nicked by the knife so many times, that it doesn’t take much to send us over the edge. That is what people see, and not the continous knife sticks.
Excellent point– and it is hard to know who we can trust when people can’t see the whole story or our perspective. Such an isolating experience especially when growing up with multiple narcississtically inclined folks and extended family in one overall family. Our response may get them to feel justified and double down on control, gaslighting, lies and manipulation. Getting away is the most effective solution but their tentacles are so long…
Excellent analogy
Intense, dramatic, over reacting, too much, selfish, angry, etc etc etc. I’ve been called it all and you nailed the over regulated, highly empathic and preople pleasing with a rare occasional “outburst” of what I now see was still very controlled and considerate version of self advocacy in the face of tears of mistreatment and just needing a little bit of consideration and reciprocity in my direction. The worst is the helpers (counselors, therapists, pastors, attorneys, mediators, etc) seeing THEIR behavior as just reacting to your self advocating, as opposed to the other way around.
Thank you again for highlighting these very important nuances of navigating attempts to heal.
A family member once responded to information about my upbringing by saying, “Wow, you have a lot of anger.” I thought to myself, This isn’t anger; this is my reality. How much more gaslighting can you do?
Thank you for this comment. I have only begun to share some of my experiences with extended family members and despite trying to relate my experiences in a matter of fact way, I still get the “you’re angry” comment. Yes, this is gaslighting!
My mother used to start fights with me when I was a child, she would immediate claim to be a victim where I was punished and isolated while she discussed my behaviour with other family members, consistantly omitting the part where she started the fight and removing my right to state my side of it as ‘you can;t trust him, he’ll lie to get out of anything, he’s done it to me’. Reflecting on this behaviour playing out, it was twofold, first, it kept me isolated and more vulnerable and second, people often gave her sympathy for having to deal with such a difficult child, though the most insane relavation to me with that individuals with narcissistic traits think that they are doing nothing wrong in those situations.
Sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, and creativity ~these are all intense gifts, but I would rather have them than live my life without them. Narcissists are so *boring* -especially when they’re trying to be “interesting”
Omg oh we were great until they wanted to date our sisters and friends. What the hell
“The world DOESN’T WANT TO understand these relationships” — pretty much exactly, Doc Ramani 😢😢❤