Why smart narcissists are the MOST dangerous
We’re living in the era of the “smart narcissist”—tech whiz, finance genius, legal mastermind—and it's getting dangerous. Just because someone is brilliant doesn’t mean they’re kind, safe, or emotionally healthy. Many people fall into trauma bonds with narcissists because they’re hooked by intelligence, mistaking it for character. But smart isn’t a virtue—and it definitely isn’t love.
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Justice. Empathy. Accountability.
Justice, what does that look like ? Indeed, injustice of the narc/victim dynamic requires one to “grieve” and accept INJUSTICE as just part of the 💩. Nothing is harder to grieve than lifelong injustice. Empathy, with narcs is a trap I have fallen for more times than I like to admit for persons who don’t deserve it, would never returned it, and used one of the best qualities / strengths to my utter desolation. Accountability? For whom, from a malignant and smart narc…they’re never wrong, what universe would they ever even need to take accountability for any harms they have caused – because, ofc they never happened, it was the fault of the victim, the abuse was merely a means to build the character and “perfect” their “investment and sacrifice” for their progeny.
Personal accountability, is a core value of mine but getting any of / a sliver / an apology even, has and never will happen. Justice would be his imprisonment. Smart, well resourced, MALIGNANT narcs never stop, never change, never apologise, and nothing is too far or beneath them…they crave and will exact every imaginable type of abuse and multiple forms all at once for however long it takes for them to eat the entire soul. Barely alive, completely controlled, and obedient automata is what they most enjoy.
⚖️🫂🧮
That’s what’s needed here
Agreed. I’d add fairness, integrity and honour. Genius means nothing to me, I don’t know why people put clever individuals on pedestals.
Now back to fully listening to Dr Ramani, in a practically daily ritual. And a much appreciated one.
My narcissistic mother had a very high IQ. It definitely made her dangerous.
How do you manage to survive?
Same but son
@@deborahswart1718 Sheer luck?
So is mine… challenging to manage
@@SandiTink Sometimes, help to survive comes from the most unlikely places, which we often only realize in hindsight.
High achievers who are narcissists damage an entire community not just a family.
Yes they destroy everything and every one
Correct.
❤
My narc-ex is around the corner from getting her Masters in Forensic Psychology. I’m just thankful she is going to be providing personal care. I can only imagine the damage she do.
Using her patients and their families like pawns for her mind games.
Agree.
Quote: “..hooked by intelligence, mistaking it for character. But smart isn’t a virtue—and it definitely isn’t love. ” She is correct in this assessment. Having a morally upstanding character is def. not the same as being intellectually smart!
I do not think humanity has the intelligence to recognize genius… alot of what is labeled as genius is grandiosity and self destructiveness… not sooo smart
A truly intelligent person wouldn’t choose the short-term supply of coercive control and manipulation over the long-term, sustainable benefits of a healthy environment where mutual love and support exist. Psychological abusers are weak, and lacking in understanding of our purpose as humans.
Right, but that’s why NPD is a disorder.
It’s technically possible for a narcissist to be a good person.
I’ve yet to see an example though.
@@dante6985 I agree, but still believe that makes them weak and prevents them from having a net positive impact on those around them. Strong people bring out the strength in others.
@@AlexandriaDaniels0825 Hard agree. I think it would make an interesting premise for a tv show – kind of a Dexter sort of deal – “the good narcissist” but I’ve yet to meet one IRL I thought was a good person.
@@dante6985definitely… I think the show ‘The Good Place’ explores that idea of the ‘capacity for good’ even in bad / low empathy people. Only saw a few episodes when it first came out but that was the gist.
@@dante6985I know a few of these ‘good narcs’ irl. They horrifically act out once in awhile, (often when drunk) but then throw money at everything and everyone the rest of the time. ‘Grandiose’ to a T. they often have a wide skill set and can come save the day when your car breaks down etc. It leaves you in a very confused state of mind because how can you be mad at someone who does so much ‘good’?
Seems like all narcissists think they’re geniuses no matter what they do or don’t do. Smart is treating people with kindness, not like pawns to exploit.
Exactly!
They are totally full of themselves
Yes!
liz gilbert (eat, pray,love) says prior to the renaissance, when we got “all la boheme, about it,” genius was something you HAD, not something you WERE. it was a muse that came and went. so when u did good u thanked it and when u did bad u werent crushed under the weight of expectations.
Excellently stated ❤💐😊
Societal values give birth to the number of narcissists we have to deal with.
It’s a narc’s free will choice
An ACTUAL genius wouldn’t have to TELL us they areba genius.
Thank you for keeping it real, Dr. Ramini! 💜
I always say that I would be uber-rich too, if I didn’t pay my employees a fair wage 😂😂
But I’m the type of person that still remembers all the times she has hurt someone inadvertently, and feels guilty for lots of things she shouldn’t feel guilty for. And I’m grateful for not being an evil sicko.
My psychoanalysis professor at University once said “the current society uplifts people with certain types of personality disorders”. And she was right!
One of the narcissists in my life—there were actually many—was the man I married.
My ex-husband is genuinely brilliant; his IQ was measured at 181 in 1976 (I was measured at 177 in 1974). This extraordinary intelligence intensified his narcissism by 1000%. He often knew he was the smartest person in the room and acted accordingly. He loved to belittle me for being less intelligent in comparison. Looking back, I realize what he was truly doing. At the time, however, it was completely dehumanizing and disempowering.
Most IQ tests don’t go past 160 or 165. Higher IQs can be determined— but usually by a panel of experts, done for research purposes. Not saying your ex wasn’t that person – but I know one narcissist who has told us all that his IQ is 180 — it definitely isn’t. He’s never achieved anything. He barely graduated from high school. He’s never held a long-term job. He has no critical thinking thinking skills. I mean, my IQ is nowhere near those test limits, but I often work with gifted kids, and they all have critical thinking skills from young ages. The narcissist I know likes to use his imaginary IQ to bully his wife; he’s a genius, so disagreeing with him is not okay.
@AprilFriday-de6vm In the 1970s, the tests given in middle and high school in Pennsylvania and Maryland went to 200(up until the 1980s if memory serves). Further, different tests have different scoring parameters. While you are correct regarding the main test that is used now and for the past 30 or so years. Your information is somewhat incomplete.
His test scores were confirmed by my aunt who was my ex’s science teacher at the private school he went (Tome in Md). They were confirmed again by his headmaster at our engagement party two years later.
The ex was full of it, but in that regard, it was the truth. He was a bloody genius. But he was also a quiet and covert narc. Vicious when thwarted. Dangerous to his enemies.
@@gypsyhorsesenseWould that make him a sociopath I wonder? It’s a Jekyl and Hyde?
@sarahyip2825 there were markers. However no not a full-blown sociopath. Very severe on the scale of NPD.
@sarahyip2825 While he appeared to have some of the markers. No, he tested only as NPD.
I’ve learned that there is a lot of things that happen that could be written off as coincidence…. But are actually intricate traps of the narcissists web to try and trap you. Suddenly this person likes the things you like, they just happen to be at the same location as you. They suddenly have an extra drink and what a coincidence you are standing right there…. Maybe I get too in my head, but in my opinion their manipulations go deeper than we sometimes recognize.
That sounds like Stalking.
Lots of quiet, kind geniuses, they just don’t make a fuss of it. They live their lives and do the work.
Facts!
That’s true
True. Those are not the ones who are put in the stance by Dr. Ramani.
My ex left me emotionally drained and broken, thank God I read Mind Decoding by Keezano and realized the subconscious blocks and karmic patterns silently running my life. Once I applied what the book teaches, everything shifted my energy, peace, and the way I see love completely transformed..amazing read🙏
Thank you 🙏🏼
Thanks to you and my narcissistic ex, I pretty much have a master in psychology and narcissistic behavior recognition. Thank you Dr Ramani for sharing your expertise. 🎉
In my personal experience, the intelligent, vulnerable, dark empath narcissist is, absolutely, the most dangerous to tangle with. They present as vulnerable, quiet, unassuming. But really, so much is going on inside them and you can’t see any of it. And none of it is any good….for you. Before very long, they’ve extracted a lot of information about you that they can use against you. And they eventually will use it. But not before the gaslighting future faking happens. Never before that.
My ex is the most intelligent person I have ever met in my life but he is also the most cold hearted, mean and cruel person I have ever met. Yes you are so correct. He was tall, dark and very handsome, had an exciting career and was a complete genius. I was so wowed he didnt even have to love bomb me! What a total waste of a human being and a total waste of my entire life!
Sounds like you only got attracted to his race, height, looks, and status. Not much to see there.
@@startledmilk6670 We all have our (unconscious) preferences to whom we are attracted and to whom not. That doesn’t necessarily have to do with ethnicity. Moreover, ppl who have suffered Narc. abuse have a very hard time distinguishing true love from infatuation through traumabonding.
It’s true that intelligence in a narcissistic person makes them more dangerous.
They are often also psychopaths, which is much more worse than a narcissist and no therapy ever can help them.