Why survivors of narcissistic relationships aren’t broken
Still think you’re “damaged” from a narcissistic relationship? You might just be wise. This video explores why survivors of narcissistic abuse often feel broken—but are actually developing instincts, caution, and insight that come from hard-earned experience.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I look at myself as empty, invisible, and damaged constantly. Ive come very distrustful from my past. I constantly feel as though my past is chasing me. It keeps resurfacing in my mind. I feel behind in life and stuck without much joy. Narcs are sooo damaging and hurtful.
I hear you. im sorry for what you went thru. it is very difficult for me to trust myself with new people.
דאניש באשיר עשה סרטון על 8 התנהגויות שעושים ניצולי נרקיסיסטים
אחד הדברים זה קושי לתת אמון ב4נשים אחרים וכן בעצמינו@@GregBillings-e1f
i love that u say “we,” not “you.”
i find all that is true. i also found that my mind was opening up, like liz gilbert said, like when you find new rooms in your house that u never knew were there in dreams. sunny, empty rooms to decorate.
This is a very valuable message… I saved it to come back to, as I think I may need to keep reminding myself.
I fled violent abuse at 16, only to meet my former husband at 18- who would go into inexplicable, out-of-character rages, then be very apologetic… I left him after we had our daughter and had become worried for her… It wasn’t until she was diagnosed at age 15, a few yrs ago, with Borderline Personality Disorder, that he had that too, plus he had Multiple Personality Disorder… He wasn’t diagnosed until AFTER I left him. It explained a lot.
But, I came away from all these accumulated experiences no longer able to trust others, and having a huge aversion to any BS, which also doesn’t help me have the lasting connections I used to have… Those prior long term connections were mostly based on my people-pleasing and overgiving, and after a career-ending disabling accident, I had another set of huge “wake-up calls” when those people for whom I had cared and given so much did NOT reciprocate when I was truly in need of supports.
So yes, I feel I can only trust and rely on myself, and honestly, have noticed that most pets have more caring ways than many people. I have gained the wisdom to pull back my energetic investments in so many people who did not care about even my medical realities… And much prefer the company of rescued animals (Who rescued who? …Lol!)
I am building a better relationship with ME, to give myself the caring compassion and friendship I have to so many for decades. It’s too bad it took bad injuries for me to get here, but messages like the one in this video help me better value my own well-being in ways I had not known safety enough to risk accessing in my developing years.
I appreciate it being identified as *wisdom* by Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
🛡⚕️🙏🦋💎
I have spent last 3 years aline going within and i am now livingvin peace and bliss we are stronger than most people dont let them affect rest of yiur life xx
I do think we are stronger than most people. Once I got hip to their game I really saw myself as strong again!
There is a super fine line sometimes between fear and wise caution. Survivors need to exercise wise caution. Create love within yourself.
Thanks be to your wisdom and your dedication and your most EXCELLENT perception, Dr Ramani.
I know I may never feel not broken again but this makes me feel a little less crazy. At least I know I’m not alone and others feel broken too.
You nailed it on the head! I don’t consider myself broken, but I do say that I have been traumatized. I feel less joyous and more on guard. It does feel like wisdom too, though thank you for this perspective!
I certainly feel broken
You’re not the only my guy….
Yep
Thank you, Dr Ramani! My therapist had to remind me this is normal and good, several times when I was self gaslighting and blaming and shaming due to my still not being able to be around my mother without a week of nervous system dysregulation after. She used my own metaphor about being near a rabid dog not being something we should be trying to get “better at being fully fine with”. If that rabid dog (or similar) mamed you in the past, it’s normal and actually healthy that you’d be staying clear of most if not all animals that look or behave like a rabid dog forever going forward. So maybe you’re not gonna work in a vet clinic going forward, you can still be a happy healthy human without that and having an internal reaction when you get close to someone who feels, and has historically done you irreparable harm and betrayal, makes a lot of healthy wise sense.
Thank you Dr. Ramani, this is so validating, encouraging, and compassionate ❤❤❤
Something I hear a lot is that people who were abused by narcissists think they ‘need to heal’ in order to be ‘wOrThY’ of being treated better. The truth is it’s not you; it’s not your fault. How someone treated you is a reflection of who they are and their character.
That’s a beautiful point
Isolation and loss of those who believed the smears from someone I love seems so hard to see or sense bit or normal back again
I went no contact recently with my narcissistic sister after 65 years of abuse. Since then I have been able to give up my lifelong dependence on daily drinking, smoking pot and taking Prozac. Coincidence? I think not. Yippee to me!!!
You have moved Mountains. Yippee to You!
Wonderful! Well done!
I recognize that I still have trauma, but I am no longer a victim to it. I’m no longer on constant alert, but still very aware of the signs. That is the hard earned wisdom that comes from narcissistic abuse.
I needed to hear this today. My narcissist continues to burn me 5 years after a nightmare divorce. And I’ve been very slow to meet new friends. Even with slow I keep getting burned. It’s exhausting.
Thank you for this❤
💯 how I feel right now, broken and hopeless after I piece together all the abuse I have experienced and how it’s negatively affected me. I really don’t trust anyone, feel super sad and lonely. I used to be fun and carefree, but got used betrayed and abused too many times. Embracing my lessons wisdom and discernment, not letting the abuse define me knowing I am valuable and trust has to be earned. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Wow, Brilliant timing, as usual. It is absolutely true that no matter how long you’ve been healing, no matter how many times you’ve said to yourself, “It’s not me”, and no matter how clear it is in your mind that you have done nothing wrong, sometimes you can still feel broken. There are no words, only happy tears, to express my appreciation for the Validation in this wonderful video. Thank you and your amazing Team.
For me it’s really enjoying more quiet and calm environments
I am so happy that I’m finally in the stage of healing that I don’t feel as broken as I once did. Yes, my life’s success was delayed and my health has suffered but I’ll continue to show myself the love that others didn’t. You will heal and your life will be full again!! I thank Dr. Ramani from the bottom of my heart!!!!Without having learned about narcissistic behavior, I might have stayed in that relationship. She has saved my life and the life of my child. I may no longer listen in on these videos about narcissistic behaviors because I need to move past it but I will always love and support Dr. Ramani. Thank you again Dr. Ramani, I hope your life is filled with love and happiness and joy and peace. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
Right! Just right!
The problem is not the way we live now. The problem was the way we used to live past years.
We have changed, we are inside the changing process now and the change needs time.