Women Want You When You STOP Chasing (Backed By Psychology)
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This video references psychological research and expert work to explain why moving on is often more attractive than chasing. For scarcity and perceived value, see Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini. For how uncertainty increases attraction, check out the study “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction” by Whitchurch, Wilson, & Gilbert (2010) published in Psychological Science. Dr. Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem supports the idea that walking away from one-sided situations reflects healthy self-worth. Attachment dynamics discussed are based on Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Finally, the idea that growth is attractive comes from self-expansion theory developed by Aron & Aron (1992), published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Can confirm. When you chase, you seem desperate. When you’re just living your life and focusing on you and your goals, women come.
Women dont come though, this is utter nonscence you still have to make the first move ask for ner number and then ask her out on a date, given you HAVE to do this how can you not chase her ? it makes ZERO sence ! getting on with your life just means you defiantly die alone because no women wownt come and make all the moves on you ! they just dont so why lie and say they wil ?
@@mcpartridgeboythis right here 👆
There is no woman worse than the ones who come to you. If the cats are chasing after you…they´re strays. You’re not getting any high quality “cats” that way.
It’s clear that some of you have been burned very badly in the past. All the excuses I’m seeing here are hilarious.
@@mcpartridgeboyyou don’t HAVE to ask her on a date at all lol. It’s very possible that a woman asks you on a date, rare but possible. Or you can both agree to a place. What is this “nonsense”? (Not nonscence)
As someone who dates with intention, I’m not afraid to walk away whenever my gut tells me that a woman is not interested in me. I already know my worth, and I don’t want to waste it on the wrong person. If she comes crying back to me after realizing that I’m her only option left, I simply say this legendary quote by Rhett Butler, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”
Rhett Butler is the man. And so are you! 🙂
Still the highest-grossing film to this day.
Thank for this: “People feel your absence because your presence was meaningful”.
“Confidence isn’t about ego”
Yes, I absolutely agree. We usually tend to confuse these concepts, and rather than being confident, we gradually become cocky, putting our own self onto the pedestal.
Thank you, Courtney, for this invaluable clarification.
Finding a nice woman with the intentions of looking for a relationship has to work both ways from both parties. No one has time to play games. Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday, Courtney ❤
You too John! 🥰
@@CourtneyRyanThank you, Courtney! ❤
@@CourtneyRyan Oh wow, Courtney has new list of hostage demands that nice guys must follow, but she won’t mention (again) that bad boys can do whatever they want and women will spread their legs for them.
All you need to know as a man is: you are either attractive or not attractive to women. Period. You cannot change that. Most women want only the “top 1-10%”, the “hot” guys and outside of that women want nothing to do with the rest, and actually detest the rest as grotesque. The other thing you need to know: women choose men not the other way around. Women decide which men will be married or have romance or have sex or be with them. They reject most men…or “settle”, finally, when they cannot have “hot” guy or hot guy used them and dumped them. Most hubbies are someone’s second or last choice. She misses the “hot” guy who used her before.
@@indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927 whats your point
Very true.Learn to let go. Walking away from a person that chooses someone else is essential life skill. Too many folks suffer bc they can’t let go.
I stopped chasing so much that she married someone else
🤣
Sounds about right 😂
💀 ☠️
lol🤣
LOL, modern day attention spans
Great video. I never imagined writing about a breakup after 25 years of been together with the love of my life. I have never felt such pains in my life, my heart is shattered. I still hope we can be together someday
leaving a 25 years relationship isn’t easy. I’ve been through it and i know how it feel to lose the love of your life, but with the help of a spiritual guide, I was able to get my partner back. You should reach out to him for help
It’s fascinating! How did you locate a spiritual counselor and how can I get in touch with him to help me?
His name is Father Osoba Salama and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people to reconcile with their ex and you can find him online
Thank u so much🙏 indeed sharing problems bring solution and I curiously make a research online with the name and found his website, Thanks
Grow up bot
„Uncertainty increases interest“ – while this is probably true, it is so unfortunate. Let’s play games and hide our true feelings 😢 – that is so exhausting.
Totally see your point. I tried my best to explain it in a healthier way haha I think the key is just to not be desperate or chase someone who isn’t interested!
@@CourtneyRyan yes, you did 👍🏼 And I think you are absolutely correct on this point. I just find it unfortunate that we humans are wired that way. But you make a very good point, it is important to know that
@@michomichopolis1135I agree man. Wouldn’t it be nice if the more energy and effort you give towards someone you care about was looked at positively and not in a bad way. And I don’t mean absolutely smother the person with attention, but the natural instinct of someone liking you makes you kind of respect them less, as opposed to if someone you know dislikes you, instead of feeling completely negative towards them, there is a part of you that wants to earn their respect and yearn for them more. It’s why I feel like “bad boys” win sometimes. They don’t really give a f about you so that makes them be wanted more.
You literally have picked my thoughts this whole past year and put them into a video. Very well expressed.
Important Things: 0:48 First Thing ÷ Scarcity Creates Value; 2:04 Second Thing ÷ Uncertainty Increases Interest; 3:54 Third Thing ÷ Confidence Is Walking Away When You’re Not Chosen; 5:18 Fourth Thing ÷ Chasing Shifts The Dynamic And Not In Your Favor; 6:42 Fifth Thing ÷ Growth Is Magnetic; and 8:38 to summarize all the told here.
Additional things can be these: Sixth Thing ÷ Showing The Boundaries Is So Amazing; Seventh Thing ÷ Stop Scrolling Phone, PC, Or Tablet Most Of The Time (but this can be another topic that we can make a discussion about that). The sixth thing can be partly used at third and fifth that you have told Courtney. And I meant on one thing. I meant on checking what are the boundaries that they can go, men and women (or as they say in movies one phrase such as this one: How low can you go. Of course I don’t mean in insulting, or playing games, I meant on normal relationship behaviors). As for seventh thing, I meant just simply don’t use the mentioned things whole time. When you are on a date, talk with the person, either the man or a woman are on a date.
All in all the best thing is to be mysterious, quiet, and also introvert as well. That way, the curiosity will be triggered at people (in this case at those who want a real soulmate). Of course I’m thinking about those who really wants a normal relationship (in this case a normal connection of couples). Cause these things can show the real genuine gentleman, and they are never forgotten.
Women ignored men interested in them, and because of that, the passport bro movement emerged, and then
Women want you.
I rather be respected than tolerated. I like that that was very good.
I don’t chase someone who doesn’t want me. It’s not worth my time and trouble.
Hey Courtney. It’s been awhile since I commented. Our church is having its VBS this week, and I’m going to do try something that I haven’t done since I was a kid. Being the life of the party. It’s going to feel awkward and weird, but it has to happen because I’ve lived the last 13 years living in fear of (fill in the blank). I’m nervous and it’s going to be uncomfortable, but I must get my life back. It also means I have to listen to people, and improve my conversation skills. I’m quickly advancing in my guitar, 🇫🇷🇪🇸 and started 🇮🇹 yesterday. Working hard. My Dad has brain cancer, and I have to be strong for my family. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. It’s paralysing.
I’m dealing with the opposite issue. I took a woman out on 2 dates and I’m done with her. She can’t stop blowing up my phone. Yesterday she sent me 6 back to back text messages. It’s too much. 2 dates and she’s acting like she wants to marry me already. No thank you.
Thank you so much—it really came on time.
“People feel your absence because your presence was meaningful,”—well said
The breakup of my five-year relationship has left me heartbroken. I’ve tried everything to rekindle things, but so far, nothing has worked, and I’m finding it hard to move on.
It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn’t just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Father Obah Eze has also helped my co workers and close friends and even family members get their ex back.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I’m genuinely impressed.
I’ve had it work both ways, I’ve been with women that I didn’t chase or pursue at all and I’ve had relationships where I initiated the pursuit and it worked out. But ‘chasing’ is more like a desperation thing which can turn anyone off. However if they have an upward inflection at the end of every sentence it’s a no go.
💯 correct! I used to be available to someone. I used to immediately answer her texts. I’ve learned to move on, and focus on my own needs.