You may LOVE the narcissist, but do you LIKE them?
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
If you take a moment to think about what you actually “love” about the narcissist, you may actually not be able to think of anything. Usually it’s just something superficial. Something that doesn’t really mean anything. Because you’re being manipulated, lied to and possibly future faked.
Sucking up to them and jumping through their hoops is exhausting!
Being just as fake as the narc is
You speak the…. Truth!!!
and possibly future naked.
Or you see the remnants of the poor child who got trapped in the Narc Box and a deep maternal love to rescue and protect and free the abused inner child at your own demise. You may never have been in tune or knew you had that sense in you and conflate with other kinds of love or attraction.
No…Most times I do not due to being belittled, put down, micro-managed, fussed at, and gaslighted semi-constantly.
There is little to “LIKE”…
##FreedomFromNarcissisticAbuse
💯
@@SaveOurDemocracy2024 shoot in my very short marriage to a narc the only place I could go without him was to work. I really treasure my freedom!
Don’t like them or love them. Trying to tolerate them. No use hating them. Now don’t feel anything for them.
“Friendship is the highest form of love”~ philosophy 😉
And this repeated question (cyclically):
– are you happy?
Because if the relationship is toxic, it destroys “silently” (you probably cant see it, but it how it works- the same in toxic environment; it can be even nice, but its toxic).
I liked him for 27 years. Then I loved him, but no longer after the way he treated me in the end.
I hear you.
I commented to my narc that she never says “I love you” first. She got upset and says she prefers to show it and not say it. But she’s so self absorbed that she doesn’t show it much, either.
My narc father never told my mom , me or any of my siblings he loved us. At least he was honest on that!
Hope you find someone who loves you!
I totally agree I just surrender myself to acknowledge that I don’t like or love my parents and siblings, it is better to know than pretending otherwise.
Thank you for this insight because sometimes I feel something is wrong with me, because I have cut all contacts to my family.
What is left to like –
Do I like the neglect?
Do I like being dismissed?
Do I like verbal abuse?
Do I like assault during sex?
Do I like the putdowns?
Do I like the gaslighting?
Do I like contemptuous actions?
Do I like how he treats his family?
What did i like, faded.
As slowly as the abuse started, is about the same rate of how i began to dislike EVERYTHING about him.
abuse is not love
@@WithAnEss 🎯
When you take the “L” out of Lover it’s over.
Love it…. And when you take the L out of LIKE it’s “ike”!
😂😂😂 👏 👏 ⚰️
All of the above 👍🥰
No one ever loves narcissists. It’s trauma bond and abandonment triggers not love
This is such a dangerous place to be 😢
Pray for the Narcs! They CAN change their VampiricChihuahuaHumanDoing ways!!!!
I desired my mom’s love and approval, but in the end became indifferent, when she chose money over the health of my daughter.
You may love them but you don’t love the real them. You love the person they pretend to be but never really are.
THIS. We love the fantasy, the LIE they told us. What they COULD be but very much are NOT.
It’s about loving them because of what they were Supposed to be to you, but are not. Hope is the longest thing to let go of.
It’s more hope than love, isn’t it? You said it perfectly, love for what they were SUPPOSED to be (what I hoped, and expected), but are NOT. So hard to let go of!
@ christinelamb1167 it locks people into an excruciating trauma bond that makes it feel impossible to let go of them, and you grieve them like a bereavement. They are lost even when you are trying to hold onto them.
@ christinelamb1167 also, they give you the false expectation that they are going to be what you would want them to be.
@@PL-tj5sd Yes, they do! 😒
@@christinelamb1167 christinelamb1167 it isn’t “I love you “ it is “I hope you “, we must give ourselves the love and grace and respect that they refuse to.
Maybe the phrase could be, “you loved them” because at some point maybe you did love them, until they became torturous towards you.
We love you Dr Ramani for allowing us to set free from these toxic dynamics without shame guilt or remorse cause all we’ll be hearing is “but they’re your parents, shut your mouth you shouldn’t say that EVEN IF IT’S TRUE because they are sacred the bible says it…yadda yadda ya and so on
We live in such a sick society one can’t even speak the truth when they are being abused
And then you see so many parents lonely abandoned by their “ungrateful” children
There are no more big happy families for Christmas just sad lonely bitter people
So Brilliant. It took me YEARS to get to where I was comfortable saying, “I love my narc Mom, but I don’t like her”; but it was more out of a need to explain the confusion of narcissistic behavior. Even then the word love felt obligatory, like it was what I was supposed to say.
Love = to take care of someone’s need, feelings and best interest. To take them into consideration frequently. To be kind, truthful, gentle and compassionate towards them.
I like the verse Love is Patient, love is kind , love always tells the truth, love is self controlled….
I’m dealing with this with my little sister right now… I’m 52, she’s 42 and treats me like complete crap. She has for about 15 years or so now and she refuses to discuss what her potential issue is with me no matter how many times I’ve tried to address it. Any chance she has to make a dig or crappy comment she will regardless of who’s around. The other examples are endless and with the holidays coming, I FINALLY told her the way she treats me is disgusting and I’m not longer tolerating it – I’m done. And I am! Once I get through Thanksgiving, I won’t have to be around her again. The family knows as well. She’s toxic in my life and I don’t need it. I’m out.
probably projecting blame on an easier target to keep gettin that cheeez!
Realizing that i didn’t like them is what helped me get away.
By this is exactly what I told my ex quit a few years ago. I loved him, part of me probably always will but I didn’t like him & his behavior at all & I would never choose him as a friend!! 😮