8 Things Men Notice About Your Body (That Have Nothing to Do With How It Looks)
What do men ACTUALLY notice about your body? It's almost never what you've been standing in front of the mirror trying to fix. Here's what he's really registering — and why none of it is about how you look.
Want to know how the man in your life REALLY experiences you? Take my free 2-minute quiz — it's honestly a little scary how accurate it is:
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🤍 Watch the full series — everything men notice about you (and never say out loud):
You got dressed for him and you did math. Which side of the table. Whether the lighting would be kind to you. The exact moment you'd be allowed to put the cardigan back on. Some of you ran two full hours of calculation before you ever sat down.
And I've spent a decade in rooms where men talk honestly about the women they love — long conversations, nothing off limits. Here's what almost never comes up: her body. Not the shape of it, not the size of it, not the age of it.
In this video I'm sharing the eight things a man is genuinely noticing — whether you're braced or settled, how warm you are, how you move when you think nobody's watching, and the one at the end that's going to sit in your chest for a couple of days.
Whether you're newly dating, deep in a long marriage, or stepping back out there after a divorce — this changes what you think he's looking at.
▼ IN THIS VIDEO ▼
→ Why he feels whether you're braced or settled before you say a word
→ The physical thing he notices that has nothing to do with size or shape
→ What he sees when you've forgotten you're being watched
→ The inch you hold back — and what he reads it as
→ What your weight against him actually communicates
→ Why he isn't looking for you to be engaging (the opposite, in fact)
→ What your body does in the half-second after he compliments you
→ The one that isn't about how you look at all — it's about whether you let him look
If you've been searching for what men find attractive, body confidence over 40, how to feel confident in your body, or what men really think about your body — this is the insider answer.
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▼ RELATED VIDEOS YOU'LL LOVE ▼
🎥 10 Things Men Love About Your Body (That You Don't) —
🎥 7 Things Men Notice About an Older Woman (That She's Trying to Hide) —
🎥 7 Things Men Notice WHILE Cuddling —
▼ ABOUT MAT ▼
Mat Shaffer is a dating and relationship coach for women. He helps women understand the way men actually think, feel, and connect — from inside the male mind.
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▼ CHAPTERS ▼
0:00 What he's actually noticing (and what he isn't)
2:07 1. Whether you're braced or settled
3:53 2. How warm you are
5:39 3. How you move when you think nobody's watching
7:00 4. Whether you lean in, or hold back that last inch
8:15 5. Your weight against him
9:43 6. Whether you can be still with him
11:14 7. What your body does when he says something kind
12:54 8. Whether you let him look at you
15:23 Final Thoughts
💬 Which of these eight did you recognize immediately? Tell me below 👇🤍
Number seven is the one that’s going to start arguments down here — what your
body does in the half-second after he says something kind. The little laugh.
The look away. “In this old thing?” 🤍 Be nice to each other.
Tell me honestly: when’s the last time you just said thank you and let it land?
I read every single comment.
👉 Free 2-minute quiz — how he’s actually experiencing you:
https://matshaffer.typeform.com/to/ZFhuDDN5?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=body-nothing-to-do-with-looks&utm_content=pinned
Never… I have never just let a compliment just sit. I am very uncomfortable with anyone giving me a compliment.
@1961Lara sounds like its time to give yourself permission to receive what people want to share with you! 🙂
Thanks Mat. All of the above 😊 I love to listen to you. And by the way you are very cute . Thank you for your advice I love it. ❤
Yes…. He is very cute…
haha you are so welcome! glad you enjoyed the video 🙂
@1961Lara haha yall are making me blush!
Yeah…. In my life I have never been at peace with my body. I am pretty sure I won’t be any time soon. As women we are tormented by advertisements…. For weight, clothing, diets, not dieting…. Be muscular don’t be muscular. On and on. By the time we are in grade school it is a thing most of us think about all day. Being judged on all sides. It is a difficult burden to put down. And at 65 and divorced, I don’t have much trust left. The good thing is that I have stopped being overly concerned about how my body is perceived by men. It is what it is. I have always been very athletic and strong. Breast cancer took a lot of that away a few years ago. I am finding myself again by starting to exercise again. It brings me peace. Maybe I will find a man I feel I can trust, but for the time being ( and the last 20 years) I am ok alone. I do like to listen to your videos…. But I have to admit I find myself saying, “ yeah… right….” Out loud. lol.
I hear you. Single, celibate and sane for 12 years now, and like you I said/thought out the same thing, yeah right … I’m not sure I trust myself nor too many men out there to notice me like this.
@Myanimo33me too. Single , celebrate, and mostly same for 20 years! And I seem to be a married man magnet. The inly guys who have paid me any attention in the years, have been married. Why??? Why would a married man act like he is available??? It is rude.
thank you for this wonderful share! there are wonderful men out there you can trust I promise!
@Mat_Shaffer lol “ yeah…. Sure…”😂😂❤
A date, now let me see, I have been single, celibate and (mostly) sane for 12 years now, so none of these things relate to me. So be it.
maybe its time to get back out there 🙂
@Myanimo33 So what’s the point of commenting?
Men shouldn’t give up in my opinion. Feminine also need adjustment periods where they are not spending a lot of time around masculinity
yes I agree space is important!
Wow. I’ve been widowed for almost 4 years…hearing these things takes me back to how my Joe & I related, both before & after we were married. We had 40 years together and I can remember the times when these kinds of encounters happened.
aw what a beautiful share! sounds like you two have a beautiful relationship, what a blessing!
“cold hands, warm heart”.
❤❤❤
Dude! I will watch any length video you put out. I am a 40 year night shift worker. Is there any hope???? The worst part is that I work 9 pm to 9 am for 21 days and then I fly home to a different altitude and environment for 21 days where I turn over to days. Yikes
YES there is always hope and opportunity!! It all starts with your belief (both in yourself and what’s possible for you) and being open to connection everywhere you go ❤️❤️🙏
Hi Matt bring that fur baby on your podcast ❤ 🐾🐾🐾🐾
Ha, noted, he’d probably steal the whole show. 😄
I’ve learned so much from you as I left an awful marriage and learned to appreciate men. I am 70. My lover was 38. I used much of this information on him. Unfortunately, distance, religion and probably age keep us from each other. I love him so much.
That’s a lot of real love and growth after leaving something awful, and it clearly shaped you into someone who knows how to connect deeply. I hope the path finds a way to bring you two closer, or brings you someone equally deserving.
I’m reminded of the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon of years past…”And now, for some more completely useless misinformation, it’s Mr. Know-it-all!” 🙄
Ha, fair jab, I’ll take the comparison in stride. 😄
Mat you look somewhat like Robert Plant.
I didn’t watch the video, but came here to say that I had enough of men telling anything about women’s body, their opinion on it, their wishes for it. Keep it to yourself folks, no need for a separate video, we have already seen enough
Do these apply to athletic or toned men?
I’m still working on refining myself from excessive weight gain first from my narcissist ex who caused me alot of stress and also eats a poor diet of junk food.
I had a 24″ waist & curvy in the right places before meeting him eating clean and working out everyday. I still do. Afterwards, the stress caused most of the weight gain.
I lost 80% of the weight after leaving him but was set back by an inch with my boss’ bipolar & possibly sociopathic wife. I’m not kidding when stress caused hormonal imbalance.
My final final thoughts are, I want to attract someone who eats healthy, works out, & in shape, and would my waist not as defined as before affect his thoughts?